How old were you/how long were you with your partner when you..

[malibustacydoll]

How long were you with your partner and how old were you when you got engaged/married? If you haven't done either yet, how old do you plan to be if you have an idea or see it in your future?

 

I told my boyfriend I want to be engaged to him before I live with him. We plan to move into together next year, and at that point will have been dating for 2 1/2 years. I am 20, and I will be 21 then. He is 22 and will be 23 then.

[lonelyandfrustrated]

Current partner only, or past partners, too?

 

First engagement was at age 18, to a boy I started 'going steady with' at 14. Broke up at age 20.

 

Second engagement at age 25, to a man 14 years my senior. Didn't marry him, either.

 

Third engagement at 26, married less than a year. What a mistake!

 

Fourth engagement at age 29, married at 30, still married, but not working out so good.

[hendersongirl]

I am 21, my partner is 32 (33 tomorrow!)

We have been together for 2 years. We aren't officially engaged but we have tentatively planned to get married sometime before/when we finish our PhDs in 4-5 years. We have lived together since January this year, and recently signed up for a place for 2009.

 

My best friend is getting married this coming January, they got engaged on the eve of her 21st birthday (last July - she just turned 22), her fiance was 20 at the time. They had been together for five years, since they were 16 and in high school. When they had only just started going out, her boyfriend's older sister celebrated her 5th anniversary with her boyfriend, and was a bit sad about no proposal yet. So my friend (jokingly - they had only been together a couple of weeks) told her bf that if he didn't propose to her by their 5th anniversary she would dump him. And he did. Not sure if he remembered that comment or not!!

[caged tiger]

I was 21 when we met, he was 18. We dated for 2 1/2 years before I pretty much badgered him into getting it over with - he grew up with strange, old-fashioned notions of being financially settled with a house before getting engaged. Meeting me he realised it was a pipe dream, but he did insist that we not live together before marriage.

 

So I was 23, he was 2 weeks off turning 21 when we announced engagement. We moved into our own apartment - first time living together - just 3 months before the wedding, mainly to save hassle at the time of the wedding, not wanting to organise moving and marrying in the same week! So we married when I was 23 and he was 21.

 

I don't think we were too young, like many people said, because it's not about age at all. It's about maturity. Many people are simply not mature enough even in their mid-twenties, many people are mature enough at 18. We match perfectly in maturity levels, in some ways he is even more so than me. Perhaps we weren't developed enough to get married, but even after four years together, we were still madly crazily in love, like when we first met. So we must have picked alright!

 

My brothers both have interesting stories. my little brother is getting married soon. he's 21, she's 19. They are too young, and I think I can prove it - he just lost his licence because he drives while stoned on pot, and she just keeps giving him chance after chance, and he reasoning is this: "It's okay, he'll change eventually." Maybe true maturity comes when you realise, you can't marry someon'e potential, you can only marry the person. If they drive you crazy now, don't do it! That's my feeling anyway.

 

my older brother has often been described as "wise beyond his years". he has dated people 20 years his senior, and has now been with his partner 10 years older for about 3 years. He moved to the UK (from Australia) so they could be together, and survived bad economies, real estate disappointments, unemployment and homesickness. I think if they can survive all that, and still be as happy as they are, they're perfect together, no matter what the age difference might be.

[Chellie]

We met almost five years ago (Halloween '03), started dating in January '04, moved in together six months later, and just became engaged this past January.

 

We're getting married Halloween '09, and I will be 30 by then, and I was 24 when we met. He'll be 29.

[Enema]

22yrs old - Met my gf

24yrs old - Moved in together

25yrs old - Got engaged

27yrs old - Got married

 

I would never get engaged to someone before living with them as I think how you live together is a huge part of how well any potential marriage will go.

[JamesM]

Met my wife at age 24

Engaged one year later at age 25

Married six months after engagement at age 26.

 

Total time from first date to marriage was 22 months.

 

We never lived together prior to marriage. We would not do it for religious reasons, and statistically it has not shown to improve longevity of marriage.

 

We are still married after 18 1/2 years. And I am still not interested in exchanging her in for a new model. She has me well-trained.

[Ocean-Blue]

Re-met my bf @ 25 (turning 26). I'm 27 now.

 

We pretty much knew we wanted to get married right away (though we've had bumps along the way).

 

Getting married next year.

[luvstarved]

First H: met at 19, engaged at 21, married at 22, divorced at 24

 

Next live-in: met at 25, moved in at 25, engaged at 25,broke up at 26

 

Next live-in: met at 26, moved in at 26, broke up at 28

 

Next live-in: met at 28, moved in at 28, engaged at 31, broke up at 35 (never got married, had two kids)

 

Current H: met at 37, married 4 months later, still married (going on 12 years). Been to hell and back. Not quite in heaven yet, but climbing the stairway to it, I hope.

 

None of all that really matters. What matters is love, maturity and respect. You won't make it without all 3. Everything else springs out of them.

 

Best of luck to you.

[Eve]

How long were you with your partner and how old were you when you got engaged/married?

 

I accepted my Husbands proposal within three months of meeting him - SO not like me. Moved in with him within weeks of the proposal. We married after 9 months of living together. I was 27 when I married him, he is 12 years my senior. We have been together now, very, very happily for 9 years, with ten years altogether. Personally I think that it is best to wait until a person is over 25 before they marry but sometimes love comes to us young.

[oldguy]

First time;

dated for 6 to 8 months

engaged for 8 months

married for 25 years

 

Second time;

dated for 5 months

engaged for 12 months

lived together for 4 of those 12 months

been married for 5 years

 

I know, that doesn't help you at all.

[jmargel]

Ex-fiancee, with 2 years before proposing. I was 21, she 19. Way too young. It didn't work out.

 

My current wife, best friends for a year, became a couple a year later, engaged 5 months later, married 6 months after that. Been together over 4 years, though it was a very rocky first year.

 

I would never get married without living with them first. Trust me, it's a whole different experience. Being engaged is enough pressure don't put it all on at once by moving in and getting engaged at the same time.

[Lauriebell82]

26, never been engaged or married. When I was your age I lived with my boyfriend, we had plans to get engaged within the next year (I was 22, about to graduate college). Relationship crashed and burned before engagement happened.

 

Current relationship: I'm 25, he's 26..been together 2 years. I think I'm ready for marriage, he's not. It will be awhile before we get engaged, but I'll wait for him.

 

Judging by the rest of the responses:

21=too young!!!!

[malibustacydoll]

I agree that I am too young to get ready and definitely not ready. However, I do want to live with my boyfriend before we get married. I do have reservations about living with someone unless we're very serious-- aka engaged. I want to be engaged by next year when I live with him, but I don't want to get married until after I get my doctorate degree. That wont happen for another 5 years. Therefore I wont be married until I am probably 26 or 27, and he is 28 or 29.

[foreverlove06]

How long were you with your partner and how old were you when you got engaged/married? If you haven't done either yet, how old do you plan to be if you have an idea or see it in your future?

 

I told my boyfriend I want to be engaged to him before I live with him. We plan to move into together next year, and at that point will have been dating for 2 1/2 years. I am 20, and I will be 21 then. He is 22 and will be 23 then.

 

I am 20 also and my boyfriend is 22, AND we have also been going out for 2 1/2 years... How strange. We are both going through school and still live with our parents, so now is not the time to get married. Although, I wouldnt be opposed to the idea of getting engaged, seeing as a wedding takes long to plan anyway and by the time we would get married, we would be out of school. On the other hand, I am not in a rush... I would marry him now if I could, but I also feel that 20 is too young to get engaged and/or married. He isnt very open to the discussion of marriage, which at first bothered me, but I do know that he wants to marry me someday. So, I try to talk about it as minimally as possible. I think at one point he said 28 would be a good age to get married, which I think resulted in an argument.. because wtf... 28!?! I would like to marry him before I live with him, but I have a feeling for us thats not going to happen.... I dont think hes afraid of commitment, I think he just doesnt know how to bring it up or what to say about it. I think it makes him nervous. But I still love him .....

[james4111]

My wife and I were together for 2 years before I asked her to marry me, I was 19 she was 18...both agreed not to get married until after college. We moved in together 4 years after that. Finaly got married on our 10 year anniversery because we both figured, "eh, bout time to". High school sweet hearts and still together. Been together over 11 years now.

 

Personaly, mid 20's is a good time to think about marrage. By that time most people are settled in their carrer or are close to at lest finishing a master program. By that time you tend to have your head together and know a basic idea of where you are going.

[chaental]

I got married when I was 25 and he was 24. We have been married for 3 yrs now and we are very happy. We knew each other for 6 months before we got married, moved in together in Nov. and were married in January.

 

It all happened so quickly, but it has been the best thing in my life and I can't imagine my life without him.

[Shygirl15]

Got married at 23yrs (I'm now 31), and was with him for 2yrs before that. We infact got married on our 2nd anniversary from the 1st time we had sex .

[LucreziaBorgia]

How long were you with your partner and how old were you when you got engaged/married? If you haven't done either yet, how old do you plan to be if you have an idea or see it in your future?

 

We met each other, got pregnant right away, and married all in less than a year. I was 26, he was 20.

 

We split after seven years, and now are back together after being apart for a little more than three years.

 

We plan to remarry, but haven't set any dates or anything.

 

My advice? Don't even think about engagement or anything of the sort until you've been living together for a while, and see how it is to have a daily life together. If you are figuring that out, while forging a new type of commitment it can be unnecessarily hard on you both. Learn to live together first, and see if it works out. Rent, do not buy. That way if you both see that it isn't going to work out, then you can both walk away relatively easily.

 

You never know... the man you want to marry now, you may not want to after seeing what reality with him will be like.

 

Just play it careful.

[Curmudgeon]

How long were you with your partner and how old were you when you got engaged/married?

 

I was young (23), dumb (she was 18), hormonal and just back from a war. The marriage only lasted 25 years before it reached its natural conclusion.

 

My current and last marriage counts. We dated one week then she moved in with me. A week later we were engaged and six weeks after that we were married. I was 50 and she was 48. We were also former coworkers and had been associates and friends for five years. We celebrate our 12th anniversary in December.

[oneofakind]

I don't think we were too young, like many people said, because it's not about age at all. It's about maturity. Many people are simply not mature enough even in their mid-twenties, many people are mature enough at 18. We match perfectly in maturity levels, in some ways he is even more so than me. Perhaps we weren't developed enough to get married, but even after four years together, we were still madly crazily in love, like when we first met. So we must have picked alright!

 

I pretty much agree with that. It honestly depends on the couple, where they are in life, and maturity levels. I've seen couples get married while still in undergrad or graduate school and make it work. But if you do wait until you're finished earning your degree before you get married, you'll have better job opportunities, which means more money for the wedding, a house, bills, etc.