shady lady Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 Hey, married 7 years, 3 kids, husband was a party guy prior to marriage, I chose poorly now, I know. I let myself be fooled. His character is not what I thought it was. After each child I think he's going to grow up accept responsibility, but he gets worse. I have taken on too much of the decision making, I know I've made a ton of mistakes. The man is an alchoholic, drug abuser(pot) can't quit it. Has been verbally abusive, rude and disrespectful. I have of course not been totally blameless, I am not the fun chick that I used to be, paying the bills, raising the kids, cleaning the house. I can't even think about getting frisky with him, He's called me an f...kin' b.tch multiple times while I was 7,8,9 months pregnant. (Probably because I refused to have sex with hime when he came home drunk.) I can not get past it. He could probably win me over again, because I want to stay together for the kids...am I nuts? But he expects me to just fall into bed because it's my wifely duty. Ewww, he has disgusting habits and he has no respect for me right? I don't think he will ever mature and step up, so I feel like a total failure. What next, everything is in my name the house isn't worth what we owe. I don't see how I will be able to afford child care and the expenses. Any suggestions? can't really go to family...
lkjh Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 Demand that the two of you seek a marriage councilor and some form of a drug councilor for him. Make sure he knows that you are very serious. Don't set ultimatums because those always backfire.
stuckinoz Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 If you think it'll get better all by itsself - Then you may be "crazy" - to quote you. This sounds serious. For the sake of the kids - you two probably should have a 3rd party look at the situation. But I'll guess - - considering his verbal abuse & behaviors - He probably WON'T want to go to counseling. That's where you need to step up & go for yourself. Learn from a counselor how to stand up for your rights in the marriage.
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