Am I crazy or is it just me?

[shady lady]

Hey, married 7 years, 3 kids, husband was a party guy prior to marriage, I chose poorly now, I know. I let myself be fooled.

 

His character is not what I thought it was. After each child I think he's going to grow up accept responsibility, but he gets worse.

 

I have taken on too much of the decision making, I know I've made a ton of mistakes.

 

The man is an alchoholic, drug abuser(pot) can't quit it.

 

Has been verbally abusive, rude and disrespectful. I have of course not been totally blameless, I am not the fun chick that I used to be, paying the bills, raising the kids, cleaning the house.

 

I can't even think about getting frisky with him, He's called me an f...kin' b.tch multiple times while I was 7,8,9 months pregnant. (Probably because I refused to have sex with hime when he came home drunk.) I can not get past it.

 

He could probably win me over again, because I want to stay together for the kids...am I nuts? But he expects me to just fall into bed because it's my wifely duty. Ewww, he has disgusting habits and he has no respect for me right? I don't think he will ever mature and step up, so I feel like a total failure.

 

What next, everything is in my name the house isn't worth what we owe. I don't see how I will be able to afford child care and the expenses.

 

Any suggestions?

can't really go to family...

[lkjh]

Demand that the two of you seek a marriage councilor and some form of a drug councilor for him. Make sure he knows that you are very serious. Don't set ultimatums because those always backfire.

[stuckinoz]

If you think it'll get better all by itsself - Then you may be "crazy" - to quote you.

This sounds serious. For the sake of the kids - you two probably should have a 3rd party look at the situation.

But I'll guess - - considering his verbal abuse & behaviors - He probably WON'T want to go to counseling. That's where you need to step up & go for yourself. Learn from a counselor how to stand up for your rights in the marriage.