About to blow a gasket: there he is, having beer with another woman

[km82794]

This story began two weeks ago, when my fiance and I were in a HUGE fight.

 

Now we recently bought a bait store, which is about five doors down from our house. We bought it for a "family thing" and to make some extra cash, in addition to our full time jobs.

 

The day of the fight, he's at the bait store, I'm at home. I decide to go to

Wal-Mart. As I'm driving down the road, passing the bait store, there he is

having a beer with some woman, showing her around. I pull in and she gives me a dirty look, the nerve.

 

Well as the stories told, he had bought a flag at her shop that day. Through their small talk, she said she knew how the bait store used to be a dump and was excited to see how we have turned it into something nice, since buying it from the last owner, so he told her to come by.

 

I could tell within five minutes what this woman was after and it wasn't bait, bending over, short shorts, touching his arm, aghhh. She took the coming soon signs I was going to make, saying she would do them for him. I had my plans for the landscaping and here she is telling him, my idea stinks, he should plant daffodils or something like that.

 

Anyway, since then, him and I made up and decided we would try going back to church as a way to help us with our problems and bring us closer. Let me add, we are from different religious backgrounds and I decided after three years, I would see what his church was like, keeping an open mind. We went together for the first time last Sunday.

 

Well she dropped by Tuesday to drop off his signs, of course while I was at work and I guess they had a nice talk. Apparently she's an Aries, she's 48 (I'm 34, he's 35), she has four sons, been single for 16 years, doesn't work because she's loaded and she doesn't believe in his/our religion.

 

So last night, we're scheduled to have a bible study with a gentleman from the church. You would think our home would be much more comfortable than a bait store, but he tells the gentleman we will hold it there, hmmm.

 

We are having the study, when "WHO?" pulls in, this lady. Apparently he told her since she had doubts about our religion, she should come by and see what it's like. Somewhere in this conversation Tuesday, he told her if she came by during our bible study, he would go with her to her church on Sunday.

 

One of the reasons I went to church with him is because I wanted to get past some of the hurt feelings I have had in the past about his womanizing, and now here is this strange woman intruding in on something that was meant to be for him and I.

 

The last straw was when the two neighborhood 21 year old girls he thinks are so hot, and makes no bones about telling me so, walked by and he said, "don't forget to come by Saturday for our grand opening". I thought my head was going to spontaneously combust. Here I am sitting there, with one woman who shouldn't even be there in my opinion, and there's two more outside, I split.

 

I have done nothing but bust my butt for this man. I work 40 hours a week, take care of his house, laundry, cooking, cleaning, in addition to spending all available time I have left on this bait store. I get five hours of sleep a night, and this is the thanks I get?

 

I am thinking that even with church, this is always going to be a problem for me.

I got so much going through my head right now, should I leave, am I being ridiculous?

 

If you've stayed with me this far, I thank you. I need some honest opinions. So my question is, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

 

I need aspirin!!!

[MarieW]

How would I feel? Well I'd be livid.

You say your husband has had "womanising ways" in the past - but you stayed with him and as a result I think you will always be on your guard. It's inappropriate for him to be spending so much time with this woman and making comments about 21 yr old totties. It could be innocent from his point of view, this older woman obviously has the hots for him and maybe he likes the attention but doesn't actually find her attractive.

My advice isn't much good really because all I can say is talk to him, ask him if he has designs on this woman ( you will probably be able to tell from his reaction even if he says no ) and even if he doesn.t explain to him that him tolerating her is driving you nuts.

You deserve better, if he was my chap I'd have slapped him into touch ages ago when the womanising started but I don't know his good points and it's only my opinion.

This woman is older than you and probably not as attractive, is she after an ego boost? You say she is wealthy so perhaps she thinks she can buy any younger man she desires. He needs to avoid her or if that doesn't work tell her to take a running jump.

Good Luck

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: "I have done nothing but bust my butt for this man. I work 40 hours a week, take care of his house, laundry, cooking, cleaning, in addition to spending all available time I have left on this bait store. I get five hours of sleep a night, and this is the thanks I get?"

 

It seems you are doing way too much for what you're getting in return. Your guy has no respect for you and takes you for granted. However, we teach people how to treat us and by doing all that you do and tolerating his womanizing you have taught him you'll be right there for him. Some people are not sufficiently intelligent to change their behavior without a major kick in the butt.

 

Have one more talk with him. In a very calm but firm way, let him know exactly how you feel about his behavior. Let him know his conduct towards other women is unacceptable to you. Tell him if he doesn't cancel his plans with these other women and show some respect to you and your marriage, you will have to take more decisive action.

 

When he learns that in a divorce you will get half the bait shop, half the equity in the house, and lots more assets because of your contributions to the marriage, I think he will change. However, do you really want a guy it would take the threat of losing his ass to change for the woman he allegedly loves??? This doesn't sound like the stuff of romance. On second thought, I think you ought to be outta there in any case. Let him womanize on his own time.

[justmyopinon]

Well, first of at least you are not legally married you stated your fiance first you,

Should have a talk with miss well off and tell her in a very straight face and stern voice that the bait shop is both of you guys and you'd like to here her suggestions

as well. this way she'll hopefully get the idea that he is at least letting you be aware of her visits just so she knows shes not pulling nothing on you with her sligh ritsyfied self.

 

 

The 20 year olds would probably think he was a pervert you she should mention that to him sometime and maybe he'd watch what says for fear of being heard.

But as far as looking thats what we have eyes for our mouths are'nt needed for seeing.

 

 

Just wait till pro fisherman walks through that door and shows you attention and see how fast your fiance gets him out of the store.

 

 

Well and last but not least tell him you'll get half of everything and leave the jerk.