His ex-wife is always there and always calling him for stupid things

[lab]

Ive been dating my boyfriend for almost 8 months now.......everything is going great.......except when it comes to his ex wife.....they have been divorced for 2 years now.....and have a 7 year old daughter.........(which she accepts me 100%) He has his daughter all week and every other weekend......and they share picking her up from school. My problem is that she is always there.and always calling him for stupid things.......to me the only time she should be calling is when it concerns there daughter.......Recently for about a month now....(ever since the ex took the daughter on vacation) when she drops her off......all of a sudden the daughter will start crying and wanting to stay with her mom......which makes him feel horrible......cause she was never like that..........when the ask her whats wrong..... she says she is confused andshe wonders why they cant do things anymore together.....and that the kids are making fun of her in school cause she has divorced parents.......

 

whenever she throws a crying fit ,,,,,,,they give in to her......and let her get her own way......which drives me nuts......I think he needs to tell her to stop coming over...all the time for no reason.....whenever I tell him how i feel on a certain situation to do with the ex........he sometimes listens but then other times....he gets mad.....cause hes trying to prevent his daughter from getting hurt more......and then he says he gets it from me....and that hes sorry but he cant make everyone happy...

 

Im just tired of the ex's BS.....and i dont know what to do.......or what to say......sorry Im just venting......noone to talk to about this really.........

[confussed/but know]

[color=darkblue][/color] , Hi, I am going through the same exact thing you are with your BF, I can not get the ex o;UT of the picture no matter how hard I try. I try to give my BF suggestions on how to handle the ex, bUT he does not want to listen at all ever of it. She calls him for stupid reasons also alot, like I can't get ___?___ to get a bath, or your daughter is mad at me for ___?___. I get so sick of it all the time I just fill like getting sick!!! He has never wanted me to really meet his ex, at first he said maybe when she said she wanted to meet me, bUT by that time I did not want to meet her. BUT then the other day, when he took his daughter back to her, I told his daughter bye and I love her, I also told her to tell her mother that I wanted to meet her. Well anyway his daughter told him I said that and he told his daughter NOT to tell her mother I said it, I was fuming bad on that. He said I stepped over his head, I told him no I did not, that I had been trying to get him to let me meet her for quite a long time now, about 6~7 months total now. So see I know what you are going through also. Hopfully yours will get better, don't think mine will ever. Plus neither one of the parents have got the daughter to start sleeping in her own bed alone, so when she comes over he is ALWAYS sleeping with her, she is old enough to sleep alone, she is 7 now will be 8 in Feb.

[lady d'arbanville]

You are not alone! (see mine, the ex-wife keeps her foot in the door)...

My boyfriend hasn;t called this evening, as he said he would - and you can bet your life he is round there............when he takes the kids back (they are 10 and 12)

there is always some reason for him to hang around, doing some job for her - and it must drive her current partner mad, too. what really upsets me is that he has lost other girlfriends over this, but still keeps on with it. I am not asking him to be nasty to her - just not to treat me as if I am the wicked witch of the west when I say it is a pain in the neck! I have to grit my teeth so often - and the thing is, if he didn;t act as if his first loyalty was to her, or we could talk about it, it would help - i wouldn;t feel so alone. thing is, he would hate it if my ex-husband was like this! He takes a pride in being more saintly than anyone else in the world, acts as if everyone who doesn;t think she;s just the cutest little thing for being stupid and incompetent must be rotten to the core. I praise him up for being nice, because he is - but not very protective toward me. For example, I told him i thought he was kind because whenever she had needed to go to the doctor when they were together he went with her, and I told him how I had to go through cancer treatment alone, because my ex wouldn;t help. He told me that my ex was a heartless b*****d (which I didn;t argue with, by the way - imagine the astonishment if I had said "no, he was just the strong silent type" or something!!!) but then said, well, that's ok because that sort of treatment has made you harder than her - she needs more support. I am SO sick of him fondly talking about the stupid things she does, like - one excuse for ringing him not her partner was that she couldn;t remember her partner's mobile number, but she could remember my boyfriends - i said, well, surely she keeps it in Personal Numbers file........to which he replied, sort of smiling, as if i should think how SWEET it is "oh, but she doesn;t". i don;t like the person this is making me into, and much as I love him, I have never felt so put down. I am getting so I feel angry and bitter and twisted, and more interested in his life than my own - when all I want to do is love him, make him happy, hopefully make up for the bad times SHE put him through, and be loving to his children. But he won;t allow me to meet them, although I have kids of my own. Now I am really sad because I think getting annoyed about it the other night, when I was feelign really ill and he hadn;t asked how i was - more into how SHE was - I have blown it completely, and lost him. I even apologised for criticising, and promised to try harder to bite my tongue - - but when I did that, he accused me of "starting things up again".