Run the other way?

[Neutron]

Ill try to be short. Not very good at that.

Im 24, single guy, have been since basically highschool. Most all of my friends are married with families so I don't spend that much time with them. Most are a few years older also. Not really anyone thats single that will go hang out with me.. So its usually just me out in the big old world looking for girls.

 

Little more background then Ill start from the beginning. I go out to dinner by myself usually every friday or saturday, sometimes both. Just find a nice resturant and sit at the bar, eat, drink a few, talk to some girls or the bartender and take the rest of the night from there. I don't really like "bars", resturant bars are a little different... Go ahead and laugh cause everyone does at me "you mean you go out to dinner with yourself? haha" lol... I find a good bartender I like and ill stop at those places a little more than others..

 

I had a wedding one evening to go to in the town north of here, 20 minutes. I got there way early, so figured I would stop and grab something to eat and a beer before hand. Found a resturant and pulled up to the bar, got a beer and ordered food. Girl bartending, was nice, a little older than me I could tell. She seemed a little flirty but not anymore than a bartender would be. I paid and left, im always a good tipper if I get good service.

 

Probably 6 weeks went by and I decided to stop in again on a saturday. She was there again, she remembered me, which I thought was odd. I talked to her a little more, told her a little about me, she did the same. She was a little more flirty but not that much. Wasn't there but 2 hours but when I left I told her I would be back, she told me what days she worked.

 

I think it was the following friday, I popped back in. She was super suprised to see me, and on the same token she was happy to see me. I stayed there till they closed that night, she sat next to me at the bar for a while talking.. I talked about my "girl" problems mostly. I have alot of bad luck, so alot to talk about. By the end of the night she said she wanted me to go out with her one night, just as friends, dinner and thats it... I kinda blew it off.

 

Next week I stopped in, same deal, they were dead that night so she sat next to me at the bar for several hours talking. She ended up with my number and I got hers. She begged me to go out with her one night.

 

She would text me every day from then on out, just wondering how my day is going ect..

 

Little about her, shes 4 years older, got a 2 year old daughter, lives with mom, wild girl, needs to find a man to settle her down. Im not ready to even think about supporting her and her daughter, her, maybe but a kids alot of work that I am not ready for. Don't get me wrong, I absolute love little kids, I go see my friends just so I can see their kids grow up. Shes not even really someone that I am sexually attracted to.

 

Took me 2 weeks to work my times with hers so we could go out. It was a wednesday, her only day off. She ended up driving me, which is fine I don't know the area. We ate, As soon as we sat down to eat she asked me if we were just friends, I said yes... That is all i really wanted anyway. Then we went bowling. She took me back to my truck, it was early still but I gotta be at work at 5am so my weeknights get cut short. She said she wanted to kiss me. Well we ended up making out for 10 minutes..

 

We went out again 2 weeks later. At dinner she told me I was her bff, which i kinda believe. Because we talk about alot of things that you don't even talk to your friends about. I feel like I know alot more than alot of people do about her. Same thing, cept I drove. We ended up making out for 2 hours. I don't know how I did it but I did not have sex with her, she told me she wanted it but I told her no. We were both buzzed a little, her alot more than me I think. I told her I could not be with her, I would like to make it work maybe but I don't have a clue how I could do it. Which is true. Im maxxed out, building a house, car payments ect. I eat lunch meat sandwiches 5 days a week for lunch and dinner. What little extra I got gets me out once a week..

 

She struck a nerve with the bff coment with me, I had a bff and she passed away a few years ago, I miss her alot. I felt the same way with this girl as I did with her, Not in love but a best best friend. No one has told me I was their bff since then.

 

This is where I get lost. I went up to see her at work one night the following week, no idea what happened. It seemed she was pissed at me, I had been stewing on the bff thing all week. I wanted to talk to her, not even sure why, just wanted to talk. She said she was busy but would call me after work. She called me, I was on my way home, short convo, She seemed pissed and said she thought we might not need to be hanging out so often since I can't be with her.

 

This was 3 weeks ago, I sent her a text that following day, and one the next telling her I was sorry. Basically saying I was a dumbass.. Never heard anything back. And haven't sent anything else.

 

I can't get her out of my head, I had alot of fun with her, fun person to be around, and I really really enjoyed talking to her. And everything she told me about me and other girls was true(i went out on several other dates between this time period, she knew about them all). I had planned on giving it some more time and popping in and saying hey, nother couple weeks. I ended up getting hurt at work 3 weeks ago, and can't walk for a while yet.

 

Tell me I need to run the other way, Im not really sure what I "want", basically my friend back because I don't have that many friends. see I kept it short.

[BlueHarvest]

If you don't like her you don't like her. I don't understand how you can state you don't like her then turn around and say you can't get her out of your head.

 

Either you were playing hard to get with her...or she was just wanting you for sex.

 

Either way it seems that you did find a friend. But she wanted more. Just like most guys who are put in the opposite situation...once they find out that a girl doesn't want anything more then friendship (a girl they are sexually attracted to.) they usually don't waste anymore time on them. It seems she is doing the reverse to you.

[CXP]

Man, you type more than I do. IMHO, run the other way. From what you've said, it sounds like she has a lot of issues. Here's how I take it: If she isn't interested in you as a friend, only as a boyfriend (or interested only in sleeping with you, it sounds like), she isn't really interested in you. If she were really truly interested in you and actually liked you as a person, I think she'd be happy to be friends with you, albeit possibly as an attempt to be her boyfriend anyway.

 

Also, if you don't like her that way, you don't like her that way. You don't want to date someone you don't really like - you most likely will regret it down the road. IMO you need friends - people your age who aren't tied down to family.

 

This is really something you need to decide for yourself, but if I were in your shoes, I'd run for the hills.

[Neutron]

This is really something you need to decide for yourself, but if I were in your shoes, I'd run for the hills.

 

Hills it is then, I called a one of my friends mom last night and talked to her for a while about it. (I talk to her alot about girl issues lol) She told me the same thing.. I think I may pop in and say hey again but thats about it.