lonelyone Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 Hi everyone. I'm 38 and have a crush on a married man who's in my band. I'm usually pretty calm and collected around him, thank God, although internally it's pretty intense. I think his wife is great and have no desire to act on the crush. Last week, at rehearsal, I flushed. I'm so humiliated. He was standing slightly behind me looking over my shoulder at my music (he does this a lot, and sometimes I think he's too much the "charmer" type). I've known him a couple years, so why did I turn red this time? I feel like the teenage boy who can't control his hard-on, even though I'm 38. Thank God I don't have a penis. He may not have noticed, since my hair was down, slightly concealing my face, and like I said, he was slightly behind me. It's one thing when he tells an embarrasing joke or something, and my blushing is almost expected. But this is different. It's obvious I blushed because he was near me and I have feelings for him (feelings which I never have or indent to act on). I became flustered once I blushed. It was a combination of anger over blushing, and trying to conceal it w/o letting him knowing I was concealing anything. The worst thing is, after I blushed, he backed away from me, and was a bit cooler the rest of rehearsal. Like I said, he may not have noticed, and backed off for different reasons. Still, do people my age blush under similar circumstances, or is it unusual for a 38 year old to turn red under similar circumstances? I work hard to manage and control this crush around him, but I feel all this hard work has been squashbuckled by this uncontrollable, involuntary blushing incident. Any comments would be welcome. I have pale skin, but maybe I don't turn as red as I think when I flush. Plus, like I said, my face was partially concealed. Even if he did notice (worst case scenario), and it's the reason he backed off the rest of rehearsal, is it anything to be ashamed of? Should a classier girl be able to control blushing better? Am I like the guy who can't control his hard-on? Link to post Share on other sites
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