Need Some Heart Posted August 22, 2003 Share Posted August 22, 2003 Last year I hooked up with my current bf, but that was while I was disentangling myself from a long-time friendship-turned-fling. Problem is, I've been unfaithful to my current bf a couple of times with this old friend. I physically missed my bf cuz he lived 2 hours away and I'd wrongly go into the arms of my old friend for physical comfort. Now that I've ended this cheating, I regret it; I would never want my boyfriend to be hurt, and I don't wanna confuse/hurt my ex even more. I've wisened up and have cut off all communication with my old friend, but my bf still has not a clue as to what I've done to him. I know I broke his trust, and to tell him would ruin it for us. I don't wanna lose him and his trust in me. I know I can be and am faithful to him now, and I'd like to forget this cheating. Do you think I can keep it from him? It's killing me to keep it inside, but I seriously feel that confessing would end things permanently between us, and I want to start anew with my bf w/out having to disclose my cheating. Whaddya think? Link to post Share on other sites
2SidestoStories Posted August 22, 2003 Share Posted August 22, 2003 Aloha... So my thoughts: You can never have trust in a relationship where there is something this serious being hidden. You will be plagued by guilt (and I might add in my opinion you SHOULD be!) and that will cause you to withdraw from your bf. Respect the person you're with since you haven't respected the relationship you have with him. The truth is, some people can work through ANYTHING. But it takes a great deal of hard work and the ability to be honest. Breaking up may be what is right for him, and you've GOT to respect that. Learn from your mistakes and DO NOT do it again. Besides, ask yourself if the relationship with your current bf is really what you want if you've been looking for comfort in someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
SpEiZ Posted August 22, 2003 Share Posted August 22, 2003 I must say I totally agree with what 2SidestoStories has to say. As said, YOU got to respect that he should have a choise to break up with you if thats what he wants. I wish I had... Link to post Share on other sites
bryanp Posted August 22, 2003 Share Posted August 22, 2003 Let me ask you this: if the roles had been reversed wouldn't you want to know and respect your boyfriend by being honest with you? By not being honest you are continuing to disrespect him and your relationship with him. Both of you can work this out. By the way it is a classic statement of a cheating person that they will say I do not wish to be honest because it will hurt the innocent person. The reality is that they cheated and they do not wish to suffer the consequences of their actions. Either you have a relationship built on trust and honesty or you don't. Either you truly love and respect your boyfriend enough to be honest with him or you do not. Does he really deserve to be treated like this by you and be kept in the dark? Your attitude to continue to lie to him by withholding the truth indicates you do not love him enough and are only concerned with yourself. I know this sounds harsh but you know it is the truth. Do the right thing and be honest and you just might be surprised how everything turns out. I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts