Did he like me?

[leah_kely]

I know that this particular question has been asked several times, but I'm going to ask it again. Let me give you my story first.

 

I don't know if anyone here is familiar with the Mormon missionaries. They are those guys (and sometimes girls) that ride around on bikes, going door to door for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For two years they give their life to the church and God doing missionary work. They aren't allowed to date, talk on the phone, watch tv, etc, etc. There is a long list of rules too long to list. They aren' t suppose to write to girls they meet on missions because they aren't suppose to "meet" people while on a mission. Basically it seems like girls are 100% off limits.

 

Well, about a month ago two of the Elders came to my home to speak with my dad (who is Mormon). The tow guy were really nice, but one of the elders was really friendly with me. They came over a few times. On one of the visits he complimented me on my eyes. I have hazel eyes and his comment was "you have bad eyes." He also was very interested in hearing me talk about work and school. There was very little talk about the church.

 

He (and the other elder) came and visited me at work. He brought me a little candy too. The two of them are suppose to be around each other all the time. The other one had to use the bathroom, but the one that I like wasn't going to go with him, he was staying at my work station talking to me (but I was aware of the rule so I sent him). When they came back down stairs I had another customer, so I waved goodbye, but he waited so he could shake my hand goodbye. Later on one of my co-workers said that she was talking to him telling him a little about me (she was joking that I was a party girl), and she said he asked her to tell him about me. He wanted to know what I was like. From what she said he was very interested in knowing what I was like.

 

That Saturday they came to my home again. The one I like was being transferred, so it would be the last time I would see him, but I was upset so I stayed in my room a lot that afternoon. He asked my parents where I was, and they told him I was in my room. So he asked what I was doing, and they made some excuse for me. When I came out he got up quickly to shake my hand. For some strange reason I felt like they were talking a lot about me that afternoon. I kept going into an leaving the living room. I don't know if I'm being silly, but I felt like he was watching me walk back and forth. And I felt like he was sad when I'd leave the room.

 

I had only known him for 3 weeks when he left, but he had already started calling me by my nickname. My name is Kelly. There are only a few select people I let call me "kel," and if I don't like it I will tell people to call me Kelly. I didn't correct him. When he was leaving I had to leave the get a goodbye gift I had boughten for him and he asked me where I was going. There were a couple of times where he would playfully hit me too. He asked my brother to go to church the next day, and my brother said yes. And then he asked me (a couple of times) if I was going to go too, so I said yes.

 

I had bought him a pen and wrote him a little note asking him to write to me. And I gave him that the day he visited. At church the next day he was there to greet my brother and I. He thought it was cool that my brother was all dressed up in a tie. When he shook my hand hello he told me that I looked really nice (he always saw me a little on the sloppy side ). He told me that he liked the pen.

 

In between when I saw him on Saturday and Church on Sunday I had written him a letter. The little note I put the pen with didn't say what was on my mind or in my heart, so that is why I wrote a letter. I gave it to him before church. I don't know when he read it. Before the service started he was squatting by my pew just talking to me about a few things (not church related though). After the service he stayed talking to my friend, brother, and I for a while. He came over to talk to me, and was kind of whispering so no one would over hear. But he said that he was going to write to me, by mail. He wasn't suppose to, but he wanted to. That day he shook my hand goodbye 4 times. I don't know if he wanted me to leave so he kept doing it, or if he just was making some sort of physical contact with me. When he finally said goodbye, he called me "kel" in front of the people at church.

 

It's been 11 days since he left, and I haven't received a letter from him. I know he's probably trying to settle in, but I am worried that my letter may have scared him off or something. I've always been so bad at reading men. I only knew him a few weeks, and I really likes him. He's left a special mark on my heart. And although he's off limits until his mission is finished, I feel in my heart that he was into me, but I could be wrong. He might have just been nice. Could my letter confessing how I felt scare him off? How long do you think he would wait to write to me? Do you think I will get a letter? Does it seem as if he liked me? Was he giving m signs. These are the questions I keep asking everyone. What do you all think? I'd REALLY appreciate a response.

 

Kelly

[Curt]

Yup. He likes ya. Give him a little while longer. If nothing, find someone new.

 

Curt

[leah_kely]

I don't want to bug about it, but from what I've told you, what exactly makes you think he liked me? I felt it on my heart, but sometimes the heart is deceiving. How long is too long to wait for him to write to me? I'm very inexperienced when it comes to dealing with guys. That's why I an so curious on what others think.

 

kelly

[Curt]

Hi Kelly,

 

Your main question is:

 

I don't want to bug about it, but from what I've told you, what exactly makes you think he liked me

 

You actually have to take all you wrote in your original post as a sort of cumulative indicator of attraction on his part.

 

Comments on Your Physical Appearance/Attributes:

 

1. On one of the visits he complimented me on my eyes. I have hazel eyes and his comment was "you have bad eyes."

 

2. When he shook my hand hello he told me that I looked really nice (he always saw me a little on the sloppy side).

 

Common thing for a guy to compliment those girls he likes on their physical attributes. He's good at it. Notice how respectful the comments are. Not like he says, "You have a great body!"

 

Interest in Your Life:

 

1. He also was very interested in hearing me talk about work and school. There was very little talk about the church.

 

2. Later on one of my co-workers said that she was talking to him telling him a little about me (she was joking that I was a party girl), and she said he asked her to tell him about me.

 

3. He asked my parents where I was, and they told him I was in my room. So he asked what I was doing, and they made some excuse for me.

 

If he wasn't interested, #2 and #3 could be easily misinterpreted as him being nosey.

 

Overt Attempt at Having and Maintaining Some Extra "Physical Contact" with You:

 

1. ...he waited so he could shake my hand goodbye.

 

2. That Saturday they came to my home again.

 

3. When I came out he got up quickly to shake my hand.

 

4. There were a couple of times where he would playfully hit me too.

 

5. That day he shook my hand goodbye 4 times. I don't know if he wanted me to leave so he kept doing it, or if he just was making some sort of physical contact with me.

 

He's coming to your house a number of times. Can this be written off only as missionary type business. I'm just curious as to how much missionary work like this is reasonable. Nonetheless, the guy is constantly wanting that extra little bit of contact with you. He nearly jumps to attention when you walk in the room. By the way, #4 is a "Classic guy way" of saying, "I Like You."

 

His Attention on You Appears Constant

 

1. He (and the other elder) came and visited me at work. He brought me a little candy too.

 

2. The two of them are suppose to be around each other all the time. The other one had to use the bathroom, but the one that I like wasn't going to go with him, he was staying at my work station talking to me (but I was aware of the rule so I sent him).

 

3. I felt like he was watching me walk back and forth. And I felt like he was sad when I'd leave the room.

 

4. When he was leaving I had to leave the get a goodbye gift I had boughten for him and he asked me where I was going.

 

5. He asked my brother to go to church the next day, and my brother said yes. And then he asked me (a couple of times) if I was going to go too, so I said yes.

 

6. Before the service started he was squatting by my pew just talking to me about a few things (not church related though).

 

7. He came over to talk to me, and was kind of whispering so no one would over hear.

 

8. He said that he was going to write to me, by mail. He wasn't suppose to, but he wanted to.

 

Most of these comments, except maybe #1 are in sum, a really good set of indicators that he likes you.

 

Desire to Know/Interact with You (and Your Family Members) on a More Personal Basis

 

1. I had only known him for 3 weeks when he left, but he had already started calling me by my nickname. My name is Kelly. There are only a few select people I let call me "kel," and if I don't like it I will tell people to call me Kelly.

 

2. He thought it was cool that my brother was all dressed up in a tie.

 

3. After the service he stayed talking to my friend, brother, and I for a while.

 

4. When he finally said goodbye, he called me "kel" in front of the people at church.

 

He is complimenting both your brother and you yourself here. In addition, although he may not know about the "Kel" thing (in terms of your only letting certain people that right to call you "Kel"), his saying this is a way of him expressing an "endearment" to you. It's usually only done when a person cares for that other person being referred to as the nickname/short form/whichever.

 

Appreciation of Your Gestures/Kindnesses Toward Him

 

1. He told me that he liked the pen.

 

Clearly he appreciated the sweet gift you gave him.

 

He might have just been nice.

 

Well, if so, it was overly "nice" to the point of bei......Sorry, I can't even believe what I started to write here. Nah, he liked ya!

 

Could my letter confessing how I felt scare him off?

 

I dunno, hunn. It's really hard for me to say. What exactly did you write in this letter to him. Details if you please.

 

How long do you think he would wait to write to me?

 

It's difficult to say. It could be up to a few weeks or a month if he's in a particularly busy spot or his mail is checked by an elder or ... the reasons could be numerous. Nonetheless, give him a couple weeks at least.

 

Do you think I will get a letter?

 

Yes, unless of course he is either;

 

(a). Up to his eyes in work.

(b). Busted down for his endearment to you while he was on missions.

©. After losing your address.

(d). Had his plan to write messed up by other unavoidable causes.

[leah_kely]

I started off my letter by telling him that I really didn't tell him what I wanted to say in the card I gave him with his pen. I had writer's block. I wished him good luck at his new location. I joked that it wouldn't be as good as it is here, but I'm sure he'd adjust. I explained to him how we've never actually invited over missionaries back more than once. They (him in particular) just hit it off with my family. I told him that I really enjoyed meeting him. Mentioned that I wished it would have happened sooner. I told him thank you for visiting me at work, and the "bad eye" compliment (I had been caught off guard before so I never said thank you.) I also mentioned that his compliments made me feel really good, and fed my ego. I told him I admired his enthusiasm about life. And I felt that I could learn a lot from him (about the Church and life in general). I said that it was because of his enthusiasm about life that I really wanted to keep in touch with him. I told him how all my co-workers thought he was cute. And how he had a killer smile. And I told him I agreed with the smile comment. I apologized for hiding out in my room on his last visit. I explained that I was sad about him leaving so soon. And how I thought that he was a great person. And he was so nice, fun, and easy to talk with. I said "it's not everyday that a person meets someone like you." And I explained that I was frustrated that God brought him in to "Our" (I didn't want to say my) life, only to take him away so quickly. I said I didn't want to be a downer, so I figured that it would be for the best if I tried to not be out there the entire time he was here. I also told him that I knew it was wrong for me to behave that way, and I was sorry. I told him again that I would REALLY like it if he would/could write to me. And that pretty much sums up the letter. Do you think I scared him off?

 

Normally when the elders come around for missionary work they give up once we make it obvious that we're a Catholic Family. I didn't start going to the Mormon church until his last day here. And every time he came over he didn't talk much about the chruch. The past elders never stayed very long, but they stayed for over an hour each time. I don't really think that visiting someone at their place of employment is exactly allowed either, but they came anyway.

 

I know that this will be over analyzing, but the playful hit thing has intrigued me. How is it that guys show interest that way? The first playful tap was the first time he was there he just taped my leg. The next time I remember was on his last visit when he was leaving. I don't remember what was said, but he playfully taped my head with the little card I had given him. So do you still think it's an "I like you" sign?

 

I forgot to mention, on the first day he came over he sat next to me on the sofa. I had gotten up to go to my room, and when I came back to go to my seat he patted it. Kind of like gesturing for me to sit there again. I mean this was on our first meeting, does that mean anything?

 

Through out my entire life I have always found it difficult to interact with guys. I've always gotten REALLY nervous and turned red. I usually hide out, and avoid talking. With him I felt totally relaxed. I never got red. There may have been those good butterflies in my stomach. But to top it off I come out of my shell and talked to him with no problems. In my heart I felt he was something special. But because he was unable to say if he felt anything , I don't know if he felt what I felt. That pretty much is why I am here asking you for your advice.

 

I forgot to mention that he always maintained direct eye contact. Even when I would get nervous and look away. I don't know if he's just like that all the time. But I always felt like he was looking deeper into my eyes. I may be crazy though.

 

So what do you think? Do you still think he liked me? Do you think it is possible that my letter scared him off? )If you need the exact letter I can show you.) Can you explain to me the whole "playful tap" thing too.