Does she really meen what she says?

[Lady Bird]

Antax, I’m sorry to hear about your impending divorce and your confused state.

 

It is hard sometimes to accept that a life built together is over and final but from what I’ve gathered from your postings I believe your wife is very serious that she is not coming back regardless of what you may want to hope or believe. She has moved out, filed for divorced, you both have signed, it will be final at the end of November, and she has changed the bank accounts; starting a life for herself on her own without you. Don’t try to read hidden messages into things.

 

Her actions such as inviting you for dinner seem to be nothing more than a friendly gesture because you took a look at her truck and offered your advice. You have children together so acting as adults and being friendly/nice to one another should happen for their sakes. I would and still do ask my xH about many things that I know he has knowledge about that I do not and vise versa.

 

As far as her knowing your passwords or checking your cell phone account, it is up to you to set boundaries. I would suggest that next time she is concerned about your son’s cell phone usage and wants to look that you ask her what her concern is and tell her you will look into it then call her back. Do not be baited into an argument. Be firm and restate your question. If she becomes verbally abusive and curses then end the conversation. Do not allow someone to speak to you in such manner, you wouldn’t allow a perfect stranger to speak to you this way so why would you allow someone that you love to do so. If she continues to call back you have the option to ignore the calls and let it go to voice mail or answer the call but re-instate that if the name calling and cursing language continues you will end the conversation. Follow through on it, sooner or later she will get the message that you won’t be treated that way.

 

I understand you are in pain but start healing yourself. Right now you need to start thinking of you. It is ok and can be fun to rediscover you, be selfish (to an extent). You were once an individual before you became ‘us or we’ so look into things that you may have put to the side. Take up a hobby that you enjoy or always wanted to try. Hang out and play pool with friends, go out for drink or out to dinner.

 

You will have good days and bad days; keep posting and reading because it does help and there is great advice here. There are plenty of support groups, family members and friends that will lend you strength.

 

The best payback is living good and being happy.

[Gunny376]

 

What makes a woman willing to give up everything she has? And I mean everything, she packed her clothes, some pictures, a couple pots and pans and left. We have joint custody of the kids so she's also leaving half of the kids.

 

There's more I'd to add but I guess this had gotten to long allready.

 

 

When you figure this one out we all could use a freaking clue? (As could the Ladies that find themselves in a similar situation).

 

The fact of the matter is? You will drive yourself freaking crazy trying to find the answer, and go to your grave after having lived a long and healthy life searching for it.

 

The fact of the matter is? People are people! Be they men, or be they women? People are crazy, stupid, ignorant ~ people are people. Who knows what motivates people to do what they do?

 

So why even bother? She's doing what she's got to do for herself, and now you've got to do what you've got to do for YOU and YOURS.

 

ME? Back before the internet, Loveshack, yada, yada,..................when it was just me, myself, and I? I hung myself up on a "Lover's Cross"

 

I begged, I pleaded, I implored, I reasoned, did everything and anything I knew to save my marriage? Nothing worked! My XHEX was going to leave me for someone that made much less than I did, but he was more fun, more exciting.

 

He was single and didn't have the obligations and responiblities of a household, a wife, and two children. He didn't have to deal with buying school clothing, putting food on the table, keeping a roof over her head, a car seat under her butt, providing for insurance, medical, dental care?

 

All he had to worry about was dressing nice, smelling nice, smiling, and showing her a good time. Worries? What worries? He was single without a care in the world.

 

Snap out of it man!

 

You should be on your knees, before God thanking Him you've never have to be burdened with dragging this dead-horse around with you everwhere you go!

 

Don't be sad, be Glad!

 

You've have had many precious and valuable things laid before your feet!

 

The GREATEST GIFT my X ever gave me? Was the day she divorced me!

 

Thank God! And Greyhound she's gone!