thewomantoblame Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 I'm trying this again. Here's the short story. I ran into an old friend of mine whom I still have feelings for. Usually I would sit back and let the guy show that he has an interest in me, but this guy had a thing for me for a couple of years and never spoke up, so I'm not confident he would do it now. This is the first time we've both been single in our adult lives and I just want to see what could happen. How do I let him know I'm interested without scaring him off? Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 well the easiest way not to scare him is to be thin. Other than that just be casual about it invite him out to coffee with you and your friends and when he gets there say your friends had to cancel and then maybe at the end be the first one to kiss... just a peck on the lips would do... that should get him going, then you could even be the one to set the second date... Link to post Share on other sites
Author thewomantoblame Posted October 3, 2008 Author Share Posted October 3, 2008 We've already done the kissing thing. We text and the conversations get flirty. I just don't want him to think I just want a sexual relationship with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 Oh for goodness' sake!! Why do people not just - talk?? What's wrong with saying, "Look, I really like you, and perhaps we could have a go at dating...I'm really not into casual stuff, I don't do the sleep once and goodbye...I'd really like someone I can date and enjoy some time with. But then, I don't want to pin your back against the wall either.... so how's about we become an item to begin with, and see where that takes us?" Why do people find it so hard to verbalise what's on their minds? We've been talking since we were two, and we still don't know how to communicate!! Sheeeeesh!! Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 Then tell him you want to have sex with him but you need to know that you guys are in a relationship Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 Oh for goodness' sake!! Why do people not just - talk?? What's wrong with saying, "Look, I really like you, and perhaps we could have a go at dating...I'm really not into casual stuff, I don't do the sleep once and goodbye...I'd really like someone I can date and enjoy some time with. But then, I don't want to pin your back against the wall either.... so how's about we become an item to begin with, and see where that takes us?" Why do people find it so hard to verbalise what's on their minds? We've been talking since we were two, and we still don't know how to communicate!! Sheeeeesh!! maybe if you ever had a relationship with a person you'd understand why it isn't that simple Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 I've had a few - which is why I know that actually, it IS this simple!! Simple doesn't mean easy... but the fact is that people are just so wary of being misunderstood and misinterpreted, that they shut up, and then become misunderstood and misinterpreted! It was so much simpler when a man had a club and dragged his woman off by the hair.....! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 maybe if you ever had a relationship with a person you'd understand why it isn't that simpleOh, brutal OP, if you want a confident man, I'm afraid you'll need to pass on this one. He's just not ready for you yet. If he was, and had confidence, he would make his attraction known to you. Think about that; he knows you, has rapport with you. You have flirted. You have kissed. What do you think, really? Link to post Share on other sites
Author thewomantoblame Posted October 3, 2008 Author Share Posted October 3, 2008 Oh, brutal OP, if you want a confident man, I'm afraid you'll need to pass on this one. He's just not ready for you yet. If he was, and had confidence, he would make his attraction known to you. Think about that; he knows you, has rapport with you. You have flirted. You have kissed. What do you think, really? I think I hear from him everyday (he's on the road all but one day a week). I know he's attracted to me. I can't blame him for the confidence thing. He and I have both talked about having feelings for one another at points in time and never voicing it. Look at me...instead of talking to him I'm posting on a freaking message board getting advice from strangers. My confidence is obviously through the roof. I'm going to try and see him when he's in town this weekend and let him know that I still have feelings for him. Pride be damned, right? What's the worst that could happen? He could freak out and go another two years without talking to me. It's not really so bad in the grand scheme of things, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Suiyobi Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 @ thewomantoblame: You'll be okay. Just tell the guy that you enjoy his company and that you'd like something "deeper" to develop between the both of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 Pride be damned, right? What's the worst that could happen? I go with the 'pride be damned' thing. If you want him, go for it. How else will you get an answer? but I am quite a forthright person and dont know how you really feel about doing something as such. Just get lots of eye contact and trust what you feel as a gut instinct. Link to post Share on other sites
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