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i wanna be more than friends


karibbean chick

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karibbean chick

hey...well i need a little advice because i have known this guy for about 5 years now. And we are very good friends. however, at the beginning of our relationship, we liked each other quite a bit and we had a little fling thing going on. After a while, Im not too sure what happened...but we still remained good friends throughout and i still liked him..up until now i still do. and i know that he likes me because its kinda obvious. but we have had boyfriends and girlfriends throughout the 5 years but there would always be a point where we would end up getting very close to each other again and stay up late at nights talking and all those feelings that i had all those years ago would come back but i was always too scared to tell him. and a couple months ago i told him that i really liked him and i thought that we should get together. he admitted that he liked me and all that but he said that we had such a good friendship that he didnt want it to be ruined. and he said its not that he doesnt want to be with me...its just that he has seen those things happen before when good friends hook up and when they break up everything gets lost...(as in the friendship) i understand that i guess to a certain extent, but i still like him alot and i dont know what i should do. can someone help me out here?

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If he were crazy about you, he wouldn't say what he said. So your best bet to keep on dating others, and this guy - well, he MAY come around in a few years, but he also may not. Perhaps just stay friends with him, but without getting so close that it hurts you.

 

that's my view.

 

best of luck!

-yes

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tracys toy soul

I know the feeling im in the same position as you. I have no advice to give just wait and hope he comes around. i dont get that "good friend" BS, isnt friendship and openness what is important in a sucsessful relationship? Dr. Phil says so. try what Im gonna do, if you two are really close, ignore him for a while make like you dont really care, he will miss you and when he realizes how much he misses you maybe he will think again! I know I miss tracy when we are not together, I just hope she will miss me too.

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One thing that friendship needs in order to be more is an inexplicable chemistry on the part of BOTH people. If it's not there, it's going to stay a friendship....and, believe me, sometimes it's best to stay that way. There also has to be a desire for chemistry and if you're around all the time, there is no desire for that because the other person can have you for a friend and have someone else, as well, for romance.

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I still believe that once a person is caught in the "just friends trap," it is going to be damned hard to ever escape it.

 

Curt

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