Am I too old to lose weight?

[Suonarelamusica]

I'm 29 and I've read that after 30, it is nearly impossible to lose weight. Of course, much of what I read is lies.

I wear between a size 6-8 and I am disgusted with my appearance. I know that I don't wear plus sizes and a size 6 isn't considered "large" to most people, but I want to feel pretty. I was really early to develop and started getting severe acne around age 10, and now my face is horribly scarred. I would like to have a really great figure, but sometimes I feel like I'm being delusional.

I have no husband, no fiance and I'm at that age where I'm worried that I may have missed the boat. I would like to get noticed, and while most people wouldnt consider me "obese," because of my face, I can't afford to have just an avereage figure.

I look in the mirror and just cringe at what I see: I feel like a fat pig. I am trying to pinpoint the reason that I'm fatter than I would like. Is it emotional or is it age and metabolism?

When I'm MEGA, and I mean mega depressed... I completely lose my appetite and go for days without eating a thing. I simply don't feel hungry and food makes me gag.

But I've just feeling blue lately, because I've been in a rut. I would like to go back to school and have a better career and a better life, but I've been struggling and there have been so many obstacles. Most people would have given up, and I've been tempted to, but I haven't. I look at myself in the mirror and think, "I don't want my life to be this way," and resolve to exercise, but then I get discouraged by thought like, "Trying to look pretty is just a waste of time, I don't have a husband to look pretty for, so what's the point..." and then I get sad and think of how much I would love to have a husband or boyfriend, and I grab the plate of enchiladas or the McDonalds fish sandwich to comfort me and forget about the darkness and the empty house that I'll come home to. I just feel so trapped.

 

Is it possible to get in shape, and have a nice figure at my age? Or is a knockout figure just something for 15-year-old girls to have?

[Green]

how tall are you and how much do you weigh? And yes its posible to lose weight havnt you seen how skinny those people on the biggest loser get... arnt some of them over 30

[norajane]

No, it's not impossible to improve your figure after 30, 40, or any age!

 

A size 6 isn't anywhere near obese, nor is it even fat, so it sounds like you have some body image issues. Maybe what you're seeing in the mirror isn't so much extra weight as it is flab...meaning, a good weight training program will build up some muscles (which burn more calories than fat), and will give you the toned appearance you're looking for. Add a little cardio, and you'll be healthier and drop the extra fat that may be bothering you in certain trouble areas you might have.

 

It is worth it to exercise for yourself and your health.

 

Go see a dermatologist and ask what they can do to repair some of the scarring on your face. Maybe there are peels or microdermabrasion or something that might help. Maybe if you feel better about how your face looks, you won't feel so discouraged about everything else in your life.

[CarrieT]

That is bull****. I was 50+ pounds overweight almost my entire life. I have pictures of me in my mid-30s where I was at my fattest (over 220 pounds). I am now 44 and while I still want to lose another ten pounds or so, look better and am thinner now than I have ever been in my life.

 

Also, considering you are between a size 6 and 8 and you feel fat and all the other issues you mention, sounds SERIOUSLY like you have a lot more issues than just feeling fat. Being a size 0 or 00 does not mean you will suddenly be happy, successful and pretty. All that comes from within.

 

Besides, most men don't want the figures that 15 year olds have! That is pre-pubescent and generally not attractive! Most men (read: MEN) want real women and not what is projected in fashion mags. I agree with Norajane; sounds like you have body issues, not weight issues. I say, "get thee to a therapist to work through your issues."

[Ocean-Blue]

While your metabolism does slow down as you age, you CAn lose weight pretty much at any age.

 

Why do you feel the need to be pretty for a man? How about impressing YOURSELF and looking good to please yourself?

[Suonarelamusica]

I want to share my life with someone. It may be unfair, but most people want a partner to whom they are sexually attracted. Above all I want a boyfriend who is my best friend, but I also want someone to whom I am attracted to sexually because you share not just your life, but your body, with someone when you marry that person. Most guys are the same way, they want someone to whom they are attracted. Every guy is going to have physical imperfections and in some cases, I could love him anyway... but if I found out that my future husband would have an enormous beer belly, I would be so disappointed. I don't want to be fat forever, because I want a better life.

[Angel1111]

I want to share my life with someone. It may be unfair, but most people want a partner to whom they are sexually attracted. Above all I want a boyfriend who is my best friend, but I also want someone to whom I am attracted to sexually because you share not just your life, but your body, with someone when you marry that person. Most guys are the same way, they want someone to whom they are attracted. Every guy is going to have physical imperfections and in some cases, I could love him anyway... but if I found out that my future husband would have an enormous beer belly, I would be so disappointed. I don't want to be fat forever, because I want a better life.

 

You need to get a grip, girlfriend, and get over this obsession you have about being overweight. It's totally ridiculous. You're a prime candidate for anorexia if you don't stop this stuff. The most likely reason you don't have a boyfriend is because of your own self-hatred. People pick up on this and are turned off by it. Figure that part out and stop focusing on your weight.

 

And since when is 29 old? Good grief.

[Suonarelamusica]

I just want to feel good about myself, and how I look. I wouldn't starve myself but I have fallen into this trap of medicating myself with food... anorexia is obsessive compulsive, these girls won't have a second piece of celery because they're scared they'll gain. I just get bored with my life and find something to eat to forget how bored I am. I just need something to fill that void.

[Suonarelamusica]

I just want to look attractive, and would feel better about myself.

[norajane]

I just want to look attractive, and would feel better about myself.

 

Then you have to do the weight training and cardio. There's really no way around it.

 

At any age, weight is about calories in, calories out...the kind of calories you take in matters. So if you're going to eat too much of the bad stuff, you have to at least exercise. It's best to eat well and exercise, but if you're not doing either, you can't expect to have a healthy, attractive body. But you can do it at any age.

[josie54]

I just want to look attractive, and would feel better about myself.

 

 

I would suggest that you reverse this thought, to say, "If I feel better about myself, I will look more attractive."

 

In reading your posts, I worry that even if you were to lose weight or see a dermatologist or do whatever else to your surface appearance, you would still be depressed and you would still think you weren't worthy of a partner who loves you. I think your work first needs to be internal (to accept who you are and what you give to the world), before you worry about your external appearance.

 

On your next trip to the park or mall or public place, sit down and watch the people around you for a while. Watch the couples who walk by. Some of these couples will be what you'd call "attractive." Some, however, will not conform to our society's ideal of beauty. But you will see just as many people who aren't traditionally beautiful walk by with rings on their fingers or someone on their arms as you will see people who are drop-dead gorgeous.

 

If you needed to be traditionally beautiful or stick-thin to find a partner, you'd assume that these people would be alone, wouldn't you? But if you were to stop and ask them how they were able to find someone special when you are not, they would say it was because they liked who they were. They lived their lives believing that they belonged in this world--flaws and all--and as a result they found someone who loved them just as they were. What this tells you is that "beautiful" truly is in the eye of the beholder and that the term covers a wide range of people. If you think a few pounds suddenly makes you unacceptable, you aren't seeing the world as it is--or yourself as you truly are. Your obsession with your looks is distorting your perception of yourself.

 

I would suggest that you eat well and exercise, not to lose weight, but to be healthy. I would suggest that you discover a hobby or passion that you love doing, take a class or find a group filled with people who also love doing that, or volunteer for a cause you believe in--so you can get out of your own head for a while. I also would suggest that you do everything you can to accept yourself the way you are this moment, even if you didn't lose a single pound (whether it be a talking to a therapist, friend, family member, or clergy member--even reading some self-help books).

 

This can be incredibly difficult, but it's also very worthwhile. The cliche is true: "If you don't love you, why would someone else?" I think you'll be more likely to find a partner who loves you if you find a way to accept yourself, no matter what you look like. And, when you accept yourself, you're more likely to take care of yourself in ways that also will be reflected in your appearance.

[Suonarelamusica]

My best friend told me that he loved his girlfriend more than he loves me. That comment made me feel absolutely worthless; it was as if he had dropped a bomb on me. She isn't even pretty! I felt betrayed by my friend that I trusted for so long. I felt as if there were something innately wrong with me on the inside, like my soul was shoddy or deformed... but, if I could feel attractive physically and get attention from guys it would make me feel better about myself. Furthermore, I'm just sick of feeling bad about myself.

[CarrieT]

You are in a slippery slope; you have talked yourself into the "fact" that until someone finds you attractive that you won't find yourself attractive. Well, guess what? No one is going to find you attractive until you FIND YOURSELF attractive!

 

Seriously - get thee to a therapist; you have way too many issues about your self-worth and it is considerably deeper than just needing *somebody* to find you attractive. And feeling bad about yourself is self-perpetuating; meaning, until YOU chose to do something about it (other than whine that no one finds you attractive) it isn't going to change.

 

I know it isn't easy. I was exactly like you for much of my early 30s - about where you are now. It takes a lot to move forward but it is best done with baby steps and NOT waiting for someone to validate your existence. You have to find that spark within yourself towards self-validation and your inner beauty will blossom.

[Suonarelamusica]

I really appreciate the people who have taken the time to write to me, but I do need to lose weight... there's no denying it. I have visible flab and it looks terrible.

[Suonarelamusica]

I would like to know how a woman my age can lose weight, and how to know if the problem is metabolism, emotions or something phsyiological.

 

I'm not talking about starving myself but I want to look my best, and of course I would feel better about myself.

[Angel1111]

I think you're being silly about your weight but if it is that big of a deal, then 29 is not even remotely too old to lose weight, unless you have serious hormone problems - which is doubtful. Then go to a doctor and get diet pills, or better yet go to Weight Watchers - just do something, anything if it wil make you feel better. Lots of people have excellent success with Weight Watchers and they're one of the most reputable of all the weight loss places around. So I fully recommend them. The meetings can get boring sometimes but they don't last long and you need to do their full program if you do it. I'll bet you'll be a skinny you in no time!

 

Also, if there are things about your face that you don't like, go to a dermatologist or plastic surgeon. It may sound extreme but I didn't like my nose when I was younger so I went to a plastic surgeon and had it fixed. I was 27 yrs old. It was strange because people noticed that something was different but didn't know for sure what it was. But it made me so happy and I have never regretted that. I don't even remember being any other way now. And they let me pay it out in payments so it wasn't really expensive because some of it was covered by insurance.

 

You're very young and you have lots and lots of years ahead of you. So if there are things you're not happy about, do something about them. You'll be a lot happier and feel more confident.

[Capricciosa]

I would like to know how a woman my age can lose weight, and how to know if the problem is metabolism, emotions or something phsyiological.

.

 

 

it's called exercise and eating well. it works 9 out of 10 times.

[electric_sheep]

Scientific studies show that metabolism slows with age ONLY because of two things:

 

Older people do less physical activity

Older people loose lean muscle mass

 

So, it's just a correlation, not causation.

 

If you move your butt and maintain your lean muscle mass you'll have the same metabolism as a young person. I'm almost 40 and my metabolism is raging a lot more than it did when I was 17, because I'm a runner and I lift weights both.

[Suonarelamusica]

I've been doing some swimming lately, which is a sport I've always enjoyed.

 

I've been missing college so much lately. I went to college in Mexico and I used to play soccer with friends, and I had access to a pool, and they walk everywhere down there... I walked to school, to the gym, to friends' houses, etc. and went dancing as well, another thing that is widespread in the culture.

 

Now I'm back in the states and bored with the gym...

[IfWishesWereHorses]

How tall are you?

 

Working out, cardio and resistance, will not only improve your mood and self esteem but change the apearance of your body (flab).

 

29 is nowhere near to young to loose weight if you are willing to commit to a program of some type. Make a plan and stick with it, THEN you have an accomplishment to feel proud of.

 

I hate to break it to you hon, but there are many more physical hurdles ahead. I wouldn't get too wrapped up in appearances, because unlike weight there are somethings that you can't reverse in the aging process!

[Suonarelamusica]

Appearances are really important to me, everyone wants to look and feel attractive. I don't want to look slovenly because people will think that I just don't care about my appearance, and guys are going to notice a girl with a nice figure before they notice someone like me, who looks like a fat pig It may be superficial, but that's the way it is.

[Terminator]

My best friend told me that he loved his girlfriend more than he loves me. That comment made me feel absolutely worthless; it was as if he had dropped a bomb on me. She isn't even pretty! I felt betrayed by my friend that I trusted for so long. I felt as if there were something innately wrong with me on the inside, like my soul was shoddy or deformed... but, if I could feel attractive physically and get attention from guys it would make me feel better about myself. Furthermore, I'm just sick of feeling bad about myself.

 

What ?? Of COURSE he loves his girlfriend more than you - are you nuts ? He would be weird if he didn't. She is his girlfriend, you are a friend.

 

I agree with some other posters that there is more going on here than a desire to lose weight. Have you considered some form of therapy to address your obvious self esteem issues?

[Suonarelamusica]

I'm his BEST friend... I've been there for him for five years, I was there for him long before she came into the picture. She isn't his best friend, and he doesn't even know if they'll be together forever. She may break his heart someday, and I'll be there, just like I've always been.

 

Why do people have this notion that friends don't matter? That friends are unimportant?

[Ruby Slippers]

Girl, you're young! A few years ago, my mom wanted to lose about 10 pounds (she's almost 60 and in fantastic shape -- we still play tennis together), so she started walking half an hour every day, doing yoga, and cutting down on sweets. In a few months, she had lost the 10 pounds, and now she's rocking her cute '50s dresses and turning heads all over town. So yes, it can be done at ANY age!

[lovestruck818]

I'm 29 and I've read that after 30, it is nearly impossible to lose weight. Of course, much of what I read is lies.

I wear between a size 6-8 and I am disgusted with my appearance. I know that I don't wear plus sizes and a size 6 isn't considered "large" to most people, but I want to feel pretty. I was really early to develop and started getting severe acne around age 10, and now my face is horribly scarred. I would like to have a really great figure, but sometimes I feel like I'm being delusional.

I have no husband, no fiance and I'm at that age where I'm worried that I may have missed the boat. I would like to get noticed, and while most people wouldnt consider me "obese," because of my face, I can't afford to have just an avereage figure.

I look in the mirror and just cringe at what I see: I feel like a fat pig. I am trying to pinpoint the reason that I'm fatter than I would like. Is it emotional or is it age and metabolism?

When I'm MEGA, and I mean mega depressed... I completely lose my appetite and go for days without eating a thing. I simply don't feel hungry and food makes me gag.

But I've just feeling blue lately, because I've been in a rut. I would like to go back to school and have a better career and a better life, but I've been struggling and there have been so many obstacles. Most people would have given up, and I've been tempted to, but I haven't. I look at myself in the mirror and think, "I don't want my life to be this way," and resolve to exercise, but then I get discouraged by thought like, "Trying to look pretty is just a waste of time, I don't have a husband to look pretty for, so what's the point..." and then I get sad and think of how much I would love to have a husband or boyfriend, and I grab the plate of enchiladas or the McDonalds fish sandwich to comfort me and forget about the darkness and the empty house that I'll come home to. I just feel so trapped.

 

Is it possible to get in shape, and have a nice figure at my age? Or is a knockout figure just something for 15-year-old girls to have?

 

It is never too late in life to try & lose weight. Losing weight= better overall appearance & health, better appearance & better health= better self-esteem, better health & better self-esteem= longer, happier, more fulfilled life. Statiscally, happier people live longer than depressed ones. It's always worth a shot. Maybe you wont lose the numbers you are hoping for, but you will probably lose something...which is better than nothing.

 

And it's not completely impossible. I am 26 and just last year at the ripe old age of 25, I lost 40lbs. I never had a great figure all through my teen years. I am at the best looking phase of my life right now.

 

Good luck to you.