How to an friend with a drink problem

[xela]

I have a friend who I haven't seen for six years - and I called in to see him today. Life is bad for him. He is separated from his wife and child, living in a cold damp caravan in his mother's garden. He has recently been made unemployed - two weeks ago. He is remarkably upbeat considering all this, but then, as usual, he smelt of drink. He is an alcoholic, and as he says, his problem is that the "hair of the dog" (i.e. a drink the morning after) is almost impossible to resist because his hangovers are so bad.

Six years ago, he lived in an apartment next to our house for three months, with the idea of getting him off the booze once he was out of his own environment. He was going to alcoholics anonymous, and it went well at first, but he went off the rails then.

Now, we also happen to have that vacant apartment. I'd love to help this guy, but I am also aware that I could even make things worse by being complicit in his lifestyle in some way. He hasnt come to me asking for help so in some ways I am sticking my nose where it may not be welcome.

I just wonder if any folk out there have experience of this type of thing, and if so, I'd appreciate your thoughts.

Thanks.

[xela]

Sorry, the title was meant to be "how to help a friend with a drink problem"

[2sunny]

you won't be helping him. HE has to help himself... he already knows this if he's been involved with AA.

 

no need to try and help - just wait for him to get back on the right path... sometimes it takes a good long while to get motivated for change. when you see positive changes - encourage him by recognizing his progress.

[xela]

i thought that was the case. will just keep in touch, let me know I'm around if he wants a word about anything, and let him me. It's difficult to watch though. Thanks for your that 2sunny.

[immizunderstood]

Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom before they realize that life has passed them by. I think your friend has to be the one to decide that he wants and will get help. All you can do at this point is just be a friend and encourage him whenever he discusses his problems to get his life in order. I know he probably doesn't want to hear "I told u so's." He must be experiencing alot of pain and he may think that drinking will numb those feelings. It's sad, but utlimately the decision is his. He knows what needs to be done, he just chooses not too at present moment.