What am i doing?

[Naomi]

Ok im not sure where to start, but i guess at the beginning is always the best thing.

 

There was this girl i went to school with last year ...Katie.... we sought of hung around each other, yet nothing personal of it.

 

After we left school, we'd see each other at the clubs, so then we decided we would go out together just me her & her b/f of 5 years. So every week end we went out but that was all it was just drinking together.

 

I got along with her boyfriend so well. Well which was expected because me having mostly Male friends am used to males and am comfortable being around them, i am not to crash hot on all the chick bitchyness and stuff.

 

So me and this guy ...Scott... we are became good friends. He starts to complain to me about how Katie treats him..and of course EVERYONE can see it...she sponges so much off him and he is so good to her, put up with all her crap.

 

Anyway i began to be attracted to Scott...but i mean people that have been together for 5 years just DON""T break up, so im all along growing this "love" for scott.

 

One nite ....(in a drunken state of course) we end up (don't ask how) sleeping together. I was all shocked in the morning and left like nothing happened...i thought ' No, alochol was the motive, nothing more" .

 

But Scott rings me the next day and i apologised, he admitted to me that he has liked me for a LONG time and just never thought i felt the same, and vise versa.

 

So we are seeing each other for about 3 weeks or so, sleeping together, sneaking around...i didn;t like this, and he finally found the right moment to break up with her.

 

He was living in her house and told me that he is moving out this weekend....

 

He said that he had fallen head over heels in love with me..and well frankly the same with me (not that i think either of us know what love really is)

 

Im not really sure as to where i REALLY stand or what i am supposed to do. I mean if Katie EVER found out she would go psycho,...she couldn't even stand me and scott being friends in the first place, just because i like to do guy stuff and she doesnt. She never wanted scott around me because she said i was "Too Pretty".

 

I know i will lose her as a friend no matter what, honestly, this doesn't phase me as much, as we were never that close, but i mean how does that make me look to others? Am i selfish for wanting my own thing, or am i just walking mysef into yet ANOTHER self destructing Situation?

 

PLEASE HELP!

[Dani]

AHHHH! I hate these situations.

 

Ive been in them, and I have also been the "other" girl. SO I know how you feel.

 

Bottom line is, if you and this guy plan to pursue a relationship, your friend (his ex girlfriend) is gonna end up crushed. He broke up with her, but did he tell her the real reason why he broke up with her? That you were involved? Once she finds out about you two (and trust me it will happen one way or the other ) she is gonna be crushed, feel betrayed and very hurt. This is to be expected. But you HAVE to tell her. One way or the other , one of you has to tell her. Because if you don't, someone else will and that will end up hurting 8 million times more. Would you rather it came from one of you, or from someone else? Something to think about. If this guy really cared for you, loved you as he claims,wanted to be with you, he would TELL his ex.Regardless of how much he dosen't want to hurt her. Because in the long run its gonna end up hurting YOU! Like I said...one way or another its gonna come out.

 

I speak from experience. Having been in both places. I was the girl, who had to find out from my boyfriends best friend! Nothing at the time feels like it can hurt more than that. Ive also been the girl trying to keep things from my friend. Its so hard. So I sympathise with you in that area. But YOU have to tell her.

 

Your not selfish for wanting your own thing. But I mean, if they were together for over 5 years, then HOW over her can he really be? They lived togheter, where together for that long, thats a big thing. It will take time to get over that! He says he is moving out this weekend, what if he dosen't? Is she the type who will pull guilt trips? And is he the type that will fall for them? Always look out for yourself in this because YOU don't want to end up hurt. Tables could turn and YOU could end up being the one who is left out, hurt and feels betrayed!

 

Take some time for you. Distance yourself for awhile. Think about , if this is something you really want. Think about it OVERALL instead of just in the now. (and I know that can be really hard )

 

And ultimately NO GUY, if worth losing a friend over. Whether she be a close friend, or just a friend, NO GUY is worth that. Guys are fleeting. They come and they go. Friends usually are the sticking points. Plus that, it might not matter to you right now that you two won't be friends, but later it will. That I know for sure.

 

Be careful, take it slow, and don't rush into anything. He could take a LONG time to get over her...and you don't want to be the ONE who is being used in that process. Things that don't really seem to matter right now, can matter a WHOLE lot later.

 

Good Luck,

 

Dani

 

Ok im not sure where to start, but i guess at the beginning is always the best thing. There was this girl i went to school with last year ...Katie.... we sought of hung around each other, yet nothing personal of it. After we left school, we'd see each other at the clubs, so then we decided we would go out together just me her & her b/f of 5 years. So every week end we went out but that was all it was just drinking together. I got along with her boyfriend so well. Well which was expected because me having mostly Male friends am used to males and am comfortable being around them, i am not to crash hot on all the chick bitchyness and stuff. So me and this guy ...Scott... we are became good friends. He starts to complain to me about how Katie treats him..and of course EVERYONE can see it...she sponges so much off him and he is so good to her, put up with all her crap.

 

Anyway i began to be attracted to Scott...but i mean people that have been together for 5 years just DON""T break up, so im all along growing this "love" for scott. One nite ....(in a drunken state of course) we end up (don't ask how) sleeping together. I was all shocked in the morning and left like nothing happened...i thought ' No, alochol was the motive, nothing more" . But Scott rings me the next day and i apologised, he admitted to me that he has liked me for a LONG time and just never thought i felt the same, and vise versa.

 

So we are seeing each other for about 3 weeks or so, sleeping together, sneaking around...i didn;t like this, and he finally found the right moment to break up with her. He was living in her house and told me that he is moving out this weekend.... He said that he had fallen head over heels in love with me..and well frankly the same with me (not that i think either of us know what love really is) Im not really sure as to where i REALLY stand or what i am supposed to do. I mean if Katie EVER found out she would go psycho,...she couldn't even stand me and scott being friends in the first place, just because i like to do guy stuff and she doesnt. She never wanted scott around me because she said i was "Too Pretty". I know i will lose her as a friend no matter what, honestly, this doesn't phase me as much, as we were never that close, but i mean how does that make me look to others? Am i selfish for wanting my own thing, or am i just walking mysef into yet ANOTHER self destructing Situation? PLEASE HELP!

[JUSTAGUY]

What you're REALLY wondering inside is "Is this for real, or could the same thing happen to me one day?"

 

The answer: it COULD. And it MIGHT.

 

Be careful with that pack of matches.

[Landon]

I agree whole-heartedly with Dani. You would do well to listen to Dani's advice. She is very wise.

 

AHHHH! I hate these situations. Ive been in them, and I have also been the "other" girl. SO I know how you feel. Bottom line is, if you and this guy plan to pursue a relationship, your friend (his ex girlfriend) is gonna end up crushed. He broke up with her, but did he tell her the real reason why he broke up with her? That you were involved? Once she finds out about you two (and trust me it will happen one way or the other ) she is gonna be crushed, feel betrayed and very hurt. This is to be expected. But you HAVE to tell her. One way or the other , one of you has to tell her. Because if you don't, someone else will and that will end up hurting 8 million times more. Would you rather it came from one of you, or from someone else? Something to think about. If this guy really cared for you, loved you as he claims,wanted to be with you, he would TELL his ex.Regardless of how much he dosen't want to hurt her. Because in the long run its gonna end up hurting YOU! Like I said...one way or another its gonna come out. I speak from experience. Having been in both places. I was the girl, who had to find out from my boyfriends best friend! Nothing at the time feels like it can hurt more than that. Ive also been the girl trying to keep things from my friend. Its so hard. So I sympathise with you in that area. But YOU have to tell her. Your not selfish for wanting your own thing. But I mean, if they were together for over 5 years, then HOW over her can he really be? They lived togheter, where together for that long, thats a big thing. It will take time to get over that! He says he is moving out this weekend, what if he dosen't? Is she the type who will pull guilt trips? And is he the type that will fall for them? Always look out for yourself in this because YOU don't want to end up hurt. Tables could turn and YOU could end up being the one who is left out, hurt and feels betrayed! Take some time for you. Distance yourself for awhile. Think about , if this is something you really want. Think about it OVERALL instead of just in the now. (and I know that can be really hard ) And ultimately NO GUY, if worth losing a friend over. Whether she be a close friend, or just a friend, NO GUY is worth that. Guys are fleeting. They come and they go. Friends usually are the sticking points. Plus that, it might not matter to you right now that you two won't be friends, but later it will. That I know for sure. Be careful, take it slow, and don't rush into anything. He could take a LONG time to get over her...and you don't want to be the ONE who is being used in that process. Things that don't really seem to matter right now, can matter a WHOLE lot later. Good Luck, Dani