I think I shaked him and have to make myself rid of him in my mind..

[Sw3etdev1L]

I went out with this boy who doesn't have money problems at all. I know his step sister is a lesbian, his dad takes anti depressives, his brother is addicted to marijuana, but when I went out with him I really thought he had charm, he had that special something you know? a good heart. He told me he tried marijuana once in a while and, I really felt. Bad about him.

Not because I am afraid or anything, truth is the school which I used to go was full of people who got high. I mean sometimes it seems so common.

The truth is my mother had cancer like six months ago, she had chemotherapy and at the same time I started going out with him. I also was taking anti depressives. Obviously he didn't know.

So when I went to my doctor, he said there were lots of people my age, who instead of taking antid epressives and getting cure, they'd just get high to kind of run away from their problems and do as if everything was right when really they weren't. He told me he had people at their thirties who by taking drugs at their twenties had evolved into schizofrenia and bipolar, and major depressives, maniacs and stuff...Horrible stuff in which almost nobody thinks when they are healthy.

So I got mad at him. I REALLY DID.

But when I was going out with him, (went out five times only), I didn't say anything so I sent him a letter the other day. We met by msn I have to say. So, I decided to tell him that he was very wrong by not supporting his brother, that if he was the older one he should give him a good example, that I was totally against him trying drugs once ina while because he was giving his brother a bad example. He should appreciate his health, he should get along better with his mother and stop running away from his problems. That I believed life was beautiful and that drugs didn't make him more man than he was before trying them. I told him he was a cliche of the rich little kids whose daddy gives them a job and everything they want and they go throw themselves into alcohol, drugs and s...

I told him that before I met him I thought he was an honest boy with good values who did exercise and was healthy and that I was very disillusioned when I noticed he was just one of the bunch of guys who had knocked on my door before. Which was the least thing I wanted. AGAIN.

so, he answered me....politely but explaining to me things right?.

 

Truth is, I still liked him. And I did it, for his own good.

At first we clicked, there was attraction and he said I was too much of a good girl.

But I never opened my mouth like this in front of him or said anything just because I wanted to see how he reacted and stuff and I got to observe him. You know? Analyze him.

I thought I really, got to perceive his way of being. I don't know if you get me.

But I was relieved after sending that letter to him.

Because I know I did something right.

I know he cared because he answered..then I didn't say a thing because he proudly said he was not interested in receiving more letters. Which by the way in the same letter he answered he, asked some things to me..

Which of course I don't care anymore because he doesn't want to know from me anymore.

 

One day, I went out with a guy who seemed really empty to me and was very materialistic and I just straightforwardly told him so. After being his girlfriend....he wanted to go back to me again!!.. why do men react this way?? I mean, I was not interested anymore and...how do you think this boy will react. HE is 25 and though he is into this, he does seem consciously and spiritual, like...he is in there but, he doesn't seem the type of guy who wishes to be there you know?

I don't know if I am explaining myself.