lady31362 Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 Hi Everyone, I really didn't know where else to turn, so I found this wonderful website in hopes of finding some direction in how I should handle this dilemma. My daughter, who is 19, is in the Army and will deploy to Iraq in December. Right now she is at Fort Hood working as a Military Policewoman. I know that she has just not been herself lately and is involved with a married man. Today, one of her friends came to my home to show me a text message that my daughter had sent her. The message stated that she is really down, doesn't want to go to Iraq, doesn't know what to do about the married man situation, and....she says that she has used Heroin a few times. My question is this....do I call Fort Hood directly myself and tell them of this? If so, who do I ask to speak to? I'm very frightened for her...especially her life. I don't know that much about Heroin and if it is possible for her to use a few times and not become addicted. Any help is appreciated! A concerned mom Link to post Share on other sites
Sks Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 Heroin is extremely addictive, if she does not want to go to Iraq she can just get caught taking it - she will be discharged(dishonorably). Link to post Share on other sites
Siciliana Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 Google. Start doing research. Also, try to find out how she is taking it. Snorting or shooting. She can do it and not become addicted the first time. But, if the genetics of your family predispose people to addiction, there is a greater chance that she could be one of the unfortunate souls that get hooked the first time. Good luck and I am sorry you are going through this. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 I strongly recommend you do not report your daughter to the authorities she works for in an attempt to save her from her troubles. You will not save her, you will only push her into deeper troubles with the law and destroy your relationship with her. It would be a major betrayal on your part. Your daughter is practically still a child and it was your responsibility to raise your child properly. I am not blaming you, I am just saying don't put your responsibility onto someone else - someone who is not her friend. Part of our job as parents is to deal with such problems, when our children let us down and become something we don't want them to be. The best solution (I know this from other parents; my sons are too young for such problems) is to show how much you care, to fight for their wellbeing, to fight hard to save them from going down. Go where she is located now, talk to her, let her know that you understand her pain, that life is not always easy, that you want to help her, and will always be there for her. She sounds lost. The affair is not important, love problems are a normal part of life - the fact that she doesn't want to go to Iraq IS a problem if she ends up going. The heroin thing is alarming, but probably not yet a big problem. She is slipping out of your hands - put her back in your hands in the most gentle and loving way. Don't just handle her to the cruelty of the military. If you do that, I guarantee you that things will go really bad in no time. She needs a friend right now. Not an iron hand. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 maybe you should just stay out of it because the fact your considering calling the government on her shows you really have some harmful ideas. She's 19 she'll have to figure this out for herself go join a suport group for drug users parents if you want something to do for yourself Link to post Share on other sites
SoundTribe Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 heroin in the military is extremely common (just look at vietnam). You should call your daughter and talk to her. Link to post Share on other sites
immizunderstood Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 You need to talk to your daughter immediately. People have committed murder in hopes of getting heroin because the drug is sooo addictive. Incurable deadly diseases have been transmitted because of the use of heroin. Facial features change, loss of teeth. Heroin addicts end up looking like drug twins. Sunken cheek bones, swollen hands, skin rashes, their bones and beauty begin to deteriorate. They experience great discomfort when not on the drug. Ultimately the addicts need another drug (detox) just to get off the initial drug. Go out there and save your daughters life! God Bless you and your daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Opiates are easily detectable for a significant period of time. With the drug testing regimen in the military, she'll be caught. If you are a lower enlisted soldier, they give you one chance in a drug and alcohol program. Heroin is extremely addictive and builds up a tolerance quickly. Very dangerous stuff! You're right to be worried and should contact her. Link to post Share on other sites
ahsumgurl909 Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 I strongly recommend you do not report your daughter to the authorities she works for in an attempt to save her from her troubles. You will not save her, you will only push her into deeper troubles with the law and destroy your relationship with her. It would be a major betrayal on your part. Your daughter is practically still a child and it was your responsibility to raise your child properly. I am not blaming you, I am just saying don't put your responsibility onto someone else - someone who is not her friend. Part of our job as parents is to deal with such problems, when our children let us down and become something we don't want them to be. The best solution (I know this from other parents; my sons are too young for such problems) is to show how much you care, to fight for their wellbeing, to fight hard to save them from going down. Go where she is located now, talk to her, let her know that you understand her pain, that life is not always easy, that you want to help her, and will always be there for her. She sounds lost. The affair is not important, love problems are a normal part of life - the fact that she doesn't want to go to Iraq IS a problem if she ends up going. The heroin thing is alarming, but probably not yet a big problem. She is slipping out of your hands - put her back in your hands in the most gentle and loving way. Don't just handle her to the cruelty of the military. If you do that, I guarantee you that things will go really bad in no time. She needs a friend right now. Not an iron hand. Wow Record That was like a movie or something, every single word you said was matter of fact and true to the max. I was like "dang RP knows how to tell it like it is and in the most profound way." Bravo Kudos and thanks;) Link to post Share on other sites
Jo78 Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Whoa! Drug abuse and adultery... Both things don't fly with the Military, although the latter seems to be more common. She is going to get herself in a lot of trouble! Like another poster said, there is mandatory drug testing in the Military. She is going to be found out sooner or later. I don't know how effective it would be for you to talk to your daughter. Drugs make people act irrational and not like themselves. I hope your daughter finds a way out of the mess she got herself into. I wish you all the strength and luck in the world to get through this! Link to post Share on other sites
taiko Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 heroin in the military is extremely common (just look at vietnam). You should call your daughter and talk to her. Vietnam? Because of Vietnam and the collapse of the Army in 1970s by the 1980s random and entire unit urine testing (just in case your number didn't come during random screening) was started. Everybody got tested multiple times yearly. It is one of the major reforms that changed a military that was in bad shape into o ne of the best in the world by the time the gulf war started. For the first hot test it matters little whether it was caught in a random test or a command directed test based upon a tip. The tip itself won't get her in more trouble but if her chain of command had already noticed problems it gives additional probable cause for them to act. They will try to save her as a soldier first. If she is unable to give up drugs then she will face UCMJ and discharge. Link to post Share on other sites
technicolor Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 As a veteran, I'm going to beg you NOT to turn her into her command. It'll ruin her life, she'll risk getting a Bad Conduct Discharge, lose all her benefits, etc. etc. Her base should have a some sort of SATOP program which is basically treats substance abuse. The Army will even send her to drug rehab, BUT she's got to be the one who goes in for help. It's tricky, because the military is pretty tough with rules and regs. I'm not sure about the Army because I was in the Marines BUT...yeah, you need to encourage her to seek help. It'll be much better for her career if she's the one to make the first move instead of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Regular heroin/opiate use is almost impossible to hide. She'll get caught. The only drug I've ever heard of someone using in the military for any length of time without getting caught is cocaine or amphetamines. They metabolize quickly, or at least they did for the available tests when I was in. Chances are good they've come up with better tests now. Link to post Share on other sites
hereandnow Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 First off, your daughter may or may not be an addict. I'm 16 months sober myself, been in recovery for a lot longer. Though heroin is a "hard" drug, you can't be sure if she's just dabbling or not. If your daughter is an addict you are powerless over her addiction. Whether she is or not you can get help. You can look up NarcAnon or AlAnon. Very good 12 step groups. Find a meeting that fits you. Link to post Share on other sites
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