BlueHarvest Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 For a more in-depth look/insight to this whole situation please read this thread first. IF you feel like it that is. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t164731/ OK So....My female co-worker invited me over this past Friday night to hang out at her house with her kids and husband. She told me on the phone right before I went over that it was partially her husband's idea because he felt bad for being jealous about me and deleting me (He actually blocked me, but he said he "accidently" deleted me) off her myspace page. So I head over, we chat for a bit. Husband heads off to pick up their 3rd "illegitimate" child cause it is his weekend to take care of her. This is the same child that he had outside of his marriage while cheating on her about 7 years ago... Anyways...After he leaves its just me and her with the two kids (14 month old and 6 year old). Kid wants to play catch so I agree and we head into the back yard to toss the ole pigskin around. She askes me if I want a drink..so I say sure. So we chat around in the back yard...she's playing with the 14 month old while I play with the 6 year old. She goes so far as to say how "she feels so much more relaxed and at ease now that he (her husband) is gone". For those of you who didn't read the first thread, her and her husband are going though serious issues...possibly divorce, she just is scared about the idea. Continuing on. Husband comes back..we continue to chat and play with kids (3 kids now mind you), and Pizza guy arrives. We all go into the kitchen to eat pizza. Kinda quiet but people are eating so its ok. Husband goes to watch TV...my co-worker asks me to take a look at her computer cause her webcam isn't working properly. So we spend an hour or so fiddling with the webcam and other things about her computer trying to fix them. During this entire time the husband decides to take a nap on the catch behind us. Also during this time she's practicaly breathing in my face, leaning her chin on my shoulder...then the baby wants to be held so she starts swaying back and forth (still chatting with me while I fiddle on the computer) and bumping her hips into my shoulder (ok maybe I am reading too deeply into that but anyways), and finally the "coup-de-grace", putting the baby down (while im trying to figure out why the heck she has so many background services running on her nearly brand new laptop) and rubbing my neck and shoulders...Please remember the Husband is right behind us on the couch napping. After that we start playing with the kids again...me her and the 2 kids (baby is just watching us) start having a rubber band fight...Yes I know childish but she is like that...its what I like about her. Husband finally wakes up...gets involved but kind of is very stand-offish and very uh....Reprimanding on her attitude and the way shes acting with the kids. Evening starts to wrap up....I'm still a bit buzzed from the few drinks she gave me so I sit on the catch and watch TV with the husband. After about 20 minutes I feel good enough to get out of there so I shake hands with the husband...thank him for letting me come over. Go into the kitchen to see how she's doing (apparently she was getting kids ready for bed and had just walked back into the kitchen.) I go to wave good-bye and she approaches for a hug. So I intend to give her a friendly hug. But she just kinda clings.... She hugs me so long and "deeply" that the husband actually gets up off the couch comes into the kitchen and just watches....really awkward situation. Finally after about 10 seconds of this hug I have to pat her on the back and gently pull her away from my chest and I end up just saying "it'll be alright" (referring to the situation between her and her husband). I say good-night again and leave. WHEW...what an awkward end to a night. Next day I thank her for inviting me and she texts me that she had a fun night. I'm still unsure about this situation. I know she's married, I know she's off-limits. I'm not about to go out and get her to cheat on her husband. My question is it almost seems like she wants something, she already has a reason to leave her husband. She is just lacking the willpower. It's almost like she wants ...I dont' know...its just really confusing. I do enjoy her company as a friend..and IF she does divorce him I would enjoy seeing if our friendship could progress further... I just don't know anymore. I guess my question is...should I say something to her or just wait it out and see which path she takes for her marriage before mentioning anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Bob54 Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 BlueHarvest, I'm not familiar with your entire situation, didn't have time to read the other thread linked above, but from what I see here it is obvious to me that this woman wants out of her marriage and is looking for you to be her rescuer. And she was letting her husband know it, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueHarvest Posted October 7, 2008 Author Share Posted October 7, 2008 BlueHarvest, I'm not familiar with your entire situation, didn't have time to read the other thread linked above, but from what I see here it is obvious to me that this woman wants out of her marriage and is looking for you to be her rescuer. And she was letting her husband know it, too. Even if what you say is the situation (which I still have doubts on it)...It's very awkward. PLUS how am I supposed to rescue her? I can't FORCE her to end her marriage, she has to come to that decision on her own. If she's looking for me to say "I'll be there for you when you come out the other side" that's one thing...and I'm not even sure I can do that because she has never vocalized her feelings. I can't approach her and say this without us having a certain middle common ground of feelings. EVEN if she wants out of her marriage and for me to "rescue" her as you say, she could also just want me to be her emotional springboard. She might want me to rescue her from her marriage...but she also might not want anything more then my friendship as well. Which is why I haven't said anything. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Stay away from her. She more or less THREW herself at you in everyway possible while her husband 'dozed' on the couch and she then later held you in the hug. WTF. She wants MORE than a friendship and her husband has every right to be pissed. They obviously have issues in their marriage if she is turning to you for attention and a sexual buzz. I'm sorry, but women do NOT rub up against a man, lean in close if they aren't interested. Wake up, man! Do yourself a HUGE favour and tell her YOU feel uncomfortable and isn't fair or right to be this cozy as friends. Next time if her husband isn't there, she WILL try to kiss you. Either way, you're in very dangerous territory, you know this, so back off and leave her alone. Tell her to get professional counselling to help her with her marital problems, and not to lean on you for that. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 PLUS how am I supposed to rescue her? 2x4 time. She wants you to make HER feel good and special. She isn't going to leave her husband - She just wants an affair. Someone who can please her, be there for her .. DO NOT BE that guy. She has a husband, and if she is unhappy, she needs to talk to him, not use you for an ego feed and extra attention. Sorry to be blunt but you need to open your eyes and know this woman does NOT look at you in a platonic and 'just' a friend way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueHarvest Posted October 7, 2008 Author Share Posted October 7, 2008 But I still want to be her friend...I don't wanna just completely cut her off. Besides that would be nearly impossible. We work 4 feet away from each other in the office we share. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts