Career Women......

[Trialbyfire]

That makes sense and is perfectly reasonable, though you might want to tell guys that up front. Most career women I've met IMO have their head in the clouds and are of the belief that they will be able to work full-time and raise kids.

That's your belief. Hate to break the news to you but there are millions of career women raising families. I have close friends and family who are doing this successfully, with well-balanced, happy children.

[Woggle]

I don't think it is successful career women that turns men off. They are more turned off by the sterotypical ball busting and manhating hyper careerist sterotype but all successful women do not fit that image. I think that some women use the excuse of men being intimidated by them to mask the fact that they are just not a good catch no matter what they do for a living.

[Trialbyfire]

I don't think it is successful career women that turns men off. They are more turned off by the sterotypical ball busting and manhating hyper careerist sterotype but all successful women do not fit that image. I think that some women use the excuse of men being intimidated by them to mask the fact that they are just not a good catch no matter what they do for a living.

There is some truth to your comments, in that of the ball-busting career women I've met through my work years, they tend to target younger men for their committed relationships like marriage. Usually, the younger men aren't career-driven, intense or highly intelligent types, so they can be easily dominated.

 

Hang on, that reminds me of the typical male dominated relationships v. equal partnerships!

[fral945]

That's your belief. Hate to break the news to you but there are millions of career women raising families. I have close friends and family who are doing this successfully' date=' with well-balanced, happy children.[/quote']

 

Hence why I said IMO (In my opinion).

 

I don't think it is successful career women that turns men off. They are more turned off by the sterotypical ball busting and manhating hyper careerist sterotype but all successful women do not fit that image. I think that some women use the excuse of men being intimidated by them to mask the fact that they are just not a good catch no matter what they do for a living.

 

Agreed. Having a good job or successful career itself is not even the issue. The issue is more how a career woman's prioritizes her life and views men and relationships. I am surprised at the number of career women that, when I ask "If you had to give up one or the other, would you give up your career or your family?" , they respond "I want both", or "that is a tough choice".

 

For me, any person (male or female) that puts their career before their family would not make a good marriage partner.

[lkjh]

All these men that prefer stay at home wives will get a rude awakening when she feels unfullfiled and blames him for everything. Stay at home wives are big balls of resentment who blame their husbands for everything wrong. They are no more likely to be loyal to a man than a woman who earns her own living and they can screw you bad in court. They are no less likely to be a walkaway wife than a working woman and when a working woman turns on you they are less able to ruuin you in divorce court,

 

I disagree with this. Women are just like men in the sense that they are all different and all want different things. I know a lot of stay at home moms that love it and I know a lot of career women that wouldn't be able to do it. To say all stay at home moms hate it is not accurate at all.

 

 

Norajane, to answer your question Im not trying to approve over what my future wife does. I simply believe in looking for someone with similar goals as myself. I understand a lot of women have to support themselves but personally I value the traditional home. So yes when I get married I want it to be to a woman who wants to be a stay at home mom. I also understand that means I need to make enough finacially to provide for that.

[fral945]

There is some truth to your comments, in that of the ball-busting career women I've met through my work years, they tend to target younger men for their committed relationships like marriage. Usually, the younger men aren't career-driven, intense or highly intelligent types, so they can be easily dominated.

 

Hang on, that reminds me of the typical male dominated relationships v. equal partnerships!

 

Maybe one day, Trial, women will dominate relationships like men used to (and still do to some extent) and then we will have a male equivalent to the feminist movement to gain back our equality.

[lkjh]

I agree with fral945

[Trialbyfire]

Maybe one day, Trial, women will dominate relationships like men used to (and still do to some extent) and then we will have a male equivalent to the feminist movement to gain back our equality.

Myself included, I don't know too many women who do want to dominate relationships so I doubt that will happen. Women like myself want equal partnerships or if the man wants to lead, he'd better make good decisions for the benefit of both, not just himself.

[Woggle]

There is some truth to your comments, in that of the ball-busting career women I've met through my work years, they tend to target younger men for their committed relationships like marriage. Usually, the younger men aren't career-driven, intense or highly intelligent types, so they can be easily dominated.

 

Hang on, that reminds me of the typical male dominated relationships v. equal partnerships!

 

And then these women lose all respect for their beta males and end up having utter contempt for them. You just can't win these types.

[Woggle]

I realize that some women enjoy staying at home but from my observations most resent. Finding the right person is a great thing but everybody male and female needs their own life and interets and too many ignore that part. This is why they end up resenting their husbands for having their own interests and end up unhappy which they blame their men for. My wife and I love to share stories about all the insane stuff we have to deal with at work and I don't feel I would be able to do that if she were staying at home all day watching Oprah and Dr Phil.

[Artu]

I love career women who know how to make the best dinners for husbands,to cherish their family,to bring their kids up themselves and still make their career the best

[fral945]

Myself included, I don't know too many women who do want to dominate relationships so I doubt that will happen. Women like myself want equal partnerships or if the man wants to lead, he'd better make good decisions for the benefit of both, not just himself.

 

Just thinking about my own family members and married couples I know, it seems that most women do dominate relationships, even when it appears they don't. They just do it in a subtle way. They still expect the man to be the initiator and take action, but they "guide" the relationship, so to speak.

 

To use a sports analogy, like a good head coach, they may not appear to actually take a lot of action in the relationship but they are good at delegating responsibilities and telling the men in their lives what to do, either directly or indirectly.

 

At least that's been my experience and what I've seen around me. My parents would be an exception, as they tend to be a bit more egalitarian.

 

Myself included, I don't know too many women who do want to dominate relationships so I doubt that will happen. Women like myself want equal partnerships or if the man wants to lead, he'd better make good decisions for the benefit of both, not just himself.

 

I have the impression that any man that made a poor decision and didn't have you in mind would be chewed up and spit out quickly.

[pyroguy]

There's actually some truth to that. Unfortunately, I have a lot of commuting time right now. So, I listen to satellite radio. One day, in break from more masculine programming, I tuned into Cosmo raido. They were discussing these women who now make more than their man, and how they no longer are attracted to them, and don't want to sleep with them as much-despite the person he may be.

 

I think this is part of the issue. I, for one, don't think women shouldn't strive to be career women-they should if they want, and they should go for the gusto. However, I think it's their attitude that turns some or many men off. This is not all professional women, but some or many. Hey, my wife is one. She is, what I think, very unique. Maybe that's why I married her. She can "play the game", but when she's home, she's still the down to earth daughter of an ex-marine in the construction business dad. She can be the life of the party, and drink beer with the guys. And hey, she married a man who does not drink the corporate Kool-Aid. Maybe most of these women are also that way at home?

 

In my experience though, especially the last several years, they seem more cold and have more of a "I'm better than you personality" -more than I care for. They have standards that they have every right to, but then again, men don't need be attracted to it. Sometimes, the men just don't feel like they measure up, maybe not in their minds, but in the description of what these woman want. It's about compatability as much as it is about being attracted to the career woman.

 

In my opening example of the woman who wants an equal in status in their partner to be attracted to him, what should the guy who teaches elementary school do? He can't be attracted to her. She doesn't see HIM that way? no animosity (ok, maybe slightly at times), just steering clear from what is not a good situation for him. What guy wants the fate I mentioned at the beginning.

 

TBF, maybe it's different in Canada, but I would say most career women here flock to the same type. There is not as much "dating the guy in construction", regardless if he makes good money. I think they really care about what the guys looks like on their arm, and that goes more for status than looks.

 

Also disturbing is that more and more ,they will marry a "professional guy" and cheat their asses off. Yes, I know all types will cheat, but the sheannigans that are going on in business today is not to be believed, unless you have first hand knowledge. Not me, but from a colleague, I know first hand. (long stories) I'm not sure if it's a " marry the professioanl guy, bang the hot stud" thing, but it's crazy. Also, my wife is in HR and the stories are just rediculous, at least at her compay.

 

So, it's not the fact that they want to be so successful, I think it's how they handle it afterwards that concerns men. They either don't like it or feel they are not compatibale bases on these women's attitudes and desires.

[Trialbyfire]

Just thinking about my own family members and married couples I know, it seems that most women do dominate relationships, even when it appears they don't. They just do it in a subtle way. They still expect the man to be the initiator and take action, but they "guide" the relationship, so to speak.

 

To use a sports analogy, like a good head coach, they may not appear to actually take a lot of action in the relationship but they are good at delegating responsibilities and telling the men in their lives what to do, either directly or indirectly.

 

At least that's been my experience and what I've seen around me. My parents would be an exception, as they tend to be a bit more egalitarian.

I've seen what you're referring to and have zero interest in guiding. My parents are equal partners.

 

I have the impression that any man that made a poor decision and didn't have you in mind would be chewed up and spit out quickly.

Nope. As long as he's man enough to admit that he needs help sometimes and is willing to hand over the reins during times of need, it's all good.

[serial muse]

I love career women who know how to make the best dinners for husbands,to cherish their family,to bring their kids up themselves and still make their career the best

 

There was a perfume commercial that touched on that.

[lkjh]

I realize that some women enjoy staying at home but from my observations most resent. Finding the right person is a great thing but everybody male and female needs their own life and interets and too many ignore that part. This is why they end up resenting their husbands for having their own interests and end up unhappy which they blame their men for. My wife and I love to share stories about all the insane stuff we have to deal with at work and I don't feel I would be able to do that if she were staying at home all day watching Oprah and Dr Phil.

 

I see your point but I disagree a little. I think when people start saying SO's need a life of their own they start to dis value marriage and family. I think this is a large reason why 50% of marriages in the west end in divorce.

 

Don't get me wrong I think its perfectly find to have friends and hobbies but when we start overlooking the basics principles families are built on we loose that family structure. Now of days family time is like a chore and we are slowly loosing it.

[Trialbyfire]

In my experience though, especially the last several years, they seem more cold and have more of a "I'm better than you personality" -more than I care for. They have standards that they have every right to, but then again, men don't need be attracted to it. Sometimes, the men just don't feel like they measure up, maybe not in their minds, but in the description of what these woman want. It's about compatability as much as it is about being attracted to the career woman.

If men feel they don't measure up to someone else's standards, then it's best for all, that they target women who's standards they feel they are comfortable meeting.

TBF, maybe it's different in Canada, but I would say most career women here flock to the same type. There is not as much "dating the guy in construction", regardless if he makes good money. I think they really care about what the guys looks like on their arm, and that goes more for status than looks.

 

Also disturbing is that more and more ,they will marry a "professional guy" and cheat their asses off. Yes, I know all types will cheat, but the sheannigans that are going on in business today is not to be believed, unless you have first hand knowledge. Not me, but from a colleague, I know first hand. (long stories) I'm not sure if it's a " marry the professioanl guy, bang the hot stud" thing, but it's crazy. Also, my wife is in HR and the stories are just rediculous, at least at her compay.

 

So, it's not the fact that they want to be so successful, I think it's how they handle it afterwards that concerns men. They either don't like it or feel they are not compatibale bases on these women's attitudes and desires.

What you're describing is the self-entitled type, not just career women. You'll find many men who do the same, at the office. Just read up on the OW/OM forum. You'll find male OMs few and far between. For every female OW, there's a male cheater.

[pyroguy]

I agree completely. The men are absolutely doing it too! But this topic concerned how men are looking and thinking about women, career women to be precise.

 

The bottom line is what you pointed out. It's about compatability. If the man is not comfortable and realistic about what these women want, then do not be interested in them.

 

I wonder sometimes though. How many good men are going way to the bottom of the list based on things other than their morals, their souls, their values, and in general, just the great person they are. I have a feeling it's plenty, and I wonder if women think about this when they wonder often and complain "where are all the good single guys". "There aren't any".

[Trialbyfire]

I agree completely. The men are absolutely doing it too! But this topic concerned how men are looking and thinking about women, career women to be precise.

 

The bottom line is what you pointed out. It's about compatability. If the man is not comfortable and realistic about what these women want, then do not be interested in them.

 

I wonder sometimes though. How many good men are going way to the bottom of the list based on things other than their morals, their souls, their values, and in general, just the great person they are. I have a feeling it's plenty, and I wonder if women think about this when they wonder often and complain "where are all the good single guys". "There aren't any".

No matter how you spin it, it ends up the same way. No matter if it's career women, career men, trophy hunters, SAHM/SAHHs, if you whine about not being able to find "good people" or "a decent man" or "a decent woman", you need to review your standards. If you accept that you've limited your field, then it's all good. It's like a guy complaining about a career woman not lowering her standards or a career woman complaining about her lack of romantic interests...I mean DUH!

[Wicked Smile]

Do any of you men find career women attractive or appealing? There was another thread on here about house husbands that made me think of this.

 

IMO, a women who is very career driven is unattractive. I don't have a problem with a woman who has a job or career, I just prefer a woman who puts more importance on having a good family over having a good career. I find most career women to be type A personalities (highly competitive, assertive, aggressive, etc.). These are generally traits in a woman that are turn-offs to me. Maybe I'm old-fashioned or set in my ways, IDK. Just wanted to get some different opinions.

 

I agree a woman with some independence is a turn on, a woman who puts her career over her family is a big turn off for me. Unless you want me to define a person by their career. There has to be a balance. I have goals but those goals don't include working 24 hours a day and ignoring the needs of my family.

 

Now if she wants play boss in the bedroom....ummmm. ok!!! I'd even give her a big raise. But making everything about work..is not ok.

[annieo]

I think it's really hard to have a career and a family. I'm conflicted on a daily basis - kid's sick, I have to go to work, husband can't stay home, what do I do kind of dilemmas. And I am an elementary school teacher, so I have a job that is fairly compatible with a home life.

[fral945]

annieo,

 

Before you had both children and a career, did you think having both would be easier or more manageable than it has been?

[annieo]

I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I had no choice about going back to work. And no, I didn't realize that I was going to feel like I was only doing a half-assed job of both most days.

 

I was actually able to work an hour after end of school bell one day this past week and it felt like a treat. Usually I bring the marking home for the weekends, or I've learned how to do my planning for lessons at warp speed during lunch.

 

However, I was one of those moms who make their own baby food when I was at home, baked muffins in the afternoon so the house would smell good when they got home from kindergarten, washed the sheets at least once a week and sprinkled them with a little lavender oil. Can't do that now. Maybe my housekeeping standards were a little to high, think Bree from Desperate Housewives.

 

The worst part is that I often get home in a bad mood with little patience, for lazy kids or messy husbands. I'm still pathetically trying to do it all, BE it all and I am realizing that I can't.

[norajane]

I find the comments in this thread interesting when juxtaposed with this one:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t172912/

 

For those of you who aren't attracted to career women and prefer a woman who only wants to be a SAHM, how do you answer that thread? Can you actually afford to, and are you willing to afford to support wife and family? Without feeling like wife is taking advantage of you and resenting her? Are you making preparations and saving NOW to get ready for that day when you will support wife and children solely on your salary?

 

Does it make it more palatable to you that a woman might be a "career woman" and making herself very valuable in the workplace now, so that she can have savings and a401(k) socked away for when she steps back to have your children? Or would you still prefer she just mark time in a low-level, low paying job until she marries you and you can support her fully, because that's the only type of woman you're attracted to?

 

How would you answer that thread?

[fral945]

That's a great question, norajane. Probably best to start another thread though. This one is getting kind of long.