He put his exes/former FWBs numbers in his new phone!! I am PISSED

[XNemesisX]

He told you he f*cked this other girl twice a MONTH ago at the beach? OR did he tell you a month ago that he screwed her at the beach twice a long time ago?

 

He screwed her at the beach July '07. The problem is that he has given me different stories about how many times he was with her and I saw pictures on facebook of him and her getting drunk at his apartment this past March. So I don't know that I believe they only hooked up at the beach in summer 2007. He told me about a month ago that he screwed her twice at the beach and then a few times after that but hadn't seen her since March 08. Then when I confronted him about her number he said he only did it with her one time at the beach. So I don't know what to believe but if I was guessing I would say that the first story is true. I'm thinking he forgot what he told me about it previously. Also, in the pictures of him and her from March 08, she was hanging all over him in the pictures and showed them taking shots together. He took down those pictures because he knew they bothered me.

[XNemesisX]

I had a similar system to Art_Critic. Before I met my husband I dated quite a few guys and I kept their numbers in my phone under the Z-List. At least when I got a call or a text I knew who it came from. I still had the list after I got married (I married my bf just after 4 months!) and one day I got a text from an old bf. My husband went berserk and wanted me to delete all the Z numbers in my phone. He even called one of them and told him to eff off. It was so embarrassing for me but also scary to see him raging with jealousy.

 

So about a month ago we were talking about something and I asked him, how many of his exes's numbers did he still had in his phone. He had 7. He started deleting them, possibly out of guilt, so I told him that I felt no threat from these girls so the decision was entirely his choice. As opposed to my husband I am less of a jealous person.

 

I think if someone wants to keep in touch with an ex, they would do it anyway. They can save phone numbers in a notebook or in a word document.

 

If you are the jealous type, tell your bf and if he respects you enough he will delete the number - it doesn't mean he will not have the number saved somewhere else. If he doesn't delete the number it means he doesn't respect you, he probably thinks you are an overreacting silly girl and instead should read a few "books" for help.

 

 

You are exactly right. Which is why I avoided demanding he delete the number because I have done this before, and all my ex-boyfriend did was put in the girls numbers under guys names. I knew it wouldn't make the threat suddenly disappear just from deleting her number. Also, his 2 roommates are friends with her so he has easy access to this girl and her number.

 

Some other things to add...we are in LDR and live about an hour apart. I'm worried she comes over to "hang out." Especially since his roomies are friends with her and they have a lot of mutual friends with her. I'm afraid I would never even know about it and I can't tell him not to have her over if his roommates are wanting her over there.

 

My boyfriend insists that I have nothing to worry about and that he has never cheated on me and would never want to cheat on me. He is telling me that I am getting "all worked up over nothing." He says he doesn't like her in that way at all and they were just drunk. I also want to add she is one of the best friends of his ex-girlfriend. "Beach Girl" talked about his ex-girlf like a dog to him and then ended up screwing him. His ex-girlfriend still doesn't know this happened and is still friends with "Beach Girl". It makes me sick.

[Alma Mobley]

Okay, I will be the lone voice out in the wilderness....

 

Who knows why your bf put those numbers into his phone? Did it ever occur to you that it was for other reasons than to call them?

 

I ask this because it happened to me, and I got just as ticked off as you. In fact, I was so upset, I posted on an advice forum similar to this one.

 

After about six months or so of dating, my bf got a new phone. Like you, I was extremely unhappy to find out over time that he put every ex-girlfriend, ex-crush, and ex-FWB in there (that I knew of!). And of course he had to manually transfer all names and numbers by hand from the old phone to the new phone.

 

Like you, I was all WTF?

 

Yeah, I brought it up a few times, but promptly dropped it and waited it out. First, he NEVER called any of these women. And a year or so later when he got another phone, he didn't put any of those numbers into his new phone.

 

Wait it out. He just likes having those numbers. Call it an ego thing, if you want. If he's into you, he won't call those girls. Wait it out like I did and don't ask him about it. If you trust him, there shouldn't be a problem. I did trust my bf, but yeah, I did wonder wtf with the numbers. It became pretty clear pretty fast he didn't want to call up those women and he never called them, and haha, they didn't make it into his next phone.

[nysugarlips]

Beware! Been there done one way or another and the end result, breakup.

There is NO reason to keep an old contact, esp and ex of a FWB number unless you want a backup plan. I speak from experience. My ex had initials in his phone instead of names, just another thing to keep in mind. Playing devils advocate, maybe he doesnt think you two are serious and or exclusive ( yet). I hate the thought of you taking AD because of him =(

 

You have to ask yourself, is he worth it?