I wonder if he'll answer me honestly about how often he sleeps with his wife

[Lizzie60]

Youre right in that I compare men to MM, but Im not agains thte idea of meeting someone new. I just kinda wish I could meet someone available that made me feel that way. It's not a totally impossible idea.....is it?

 

Good luck with that!!!

[Lizzie60]

Thats true alot on the libido front. Ive already accepted I have a ridiculously high sex drive probably not common to most women. Even in long relationships where I wasn't that attracted to the guy anymore, I was still having sex with them at least 3-4 times a week, even if i was tired or sick or busy. Orgasms are the best drug nature could have provided :-)

 

But saying the W is ok with it is also wrong, I think. Some do turn a blind eye, but even if they are not into sex as much, they still don't want MM's finding it on the side. Not much of a compromise, if you ask me, but that's why people end up cheating. Not to say a woman should be shagging her H every night just because he wants it if she doesn't, but thinking that your H will be happy getting laid once a month or less is stupid and whether he cheats or not, it's going to lead to unhappiness in the M for sure. Whether people like to admit it or not, sex is a very important part of a relationship, and is normally a pretty good indicator in therapy sessions I have with patients as to how healthy their relationship really is. When a woman says "oh, we don't have sex very often but it's ok, we are beyond that, we are still happy" I tend to look at the man as she is saying this and he tends to look down and unhappy, not wanting to disagree but obviously NOT agreeing. Men use sex to express their emotions in many ways. Gracing your partner with sex once a month or less than that is ignoring a basic need that human beings have. There has to be SOME compromise....no?

 

that's my point.. they do NOT want their H to have sex outside and they think HE won't eventhough they have sex once every month.. it is ridiculous to think that their H will not go outside.. but they DO think their H is faithful.. go figure.

[Lizzie60]

Paying women for sex????? When did this discussion turn to prositution, Owl? MM isn't my sugardaddie for chrissake. Considering Im single and he's supporting a family of five, I actually make more than he does, and when Im a doctor, I'll be making waaaaay more than he does.

 

Just because someone is having an A, doesn't make them a bad person, or bad father. Their love and actions towards their children, is entirely seperate from their love towards their wife. MM is a great dad. He is ALWAYS there for his children. He works two jobs to support them so his wife could be a SAHM like she wanted to be. He works in a field where the pay is ****e, but he came here from the UK just so he could work in a field where he was helping people and caring for sick people that couldn't do it for their own, even though he is absolutely brilliant and could have been some ass**le businessman making millions instead. I've seen him fight to the end to defend the patients we had when him and I worked together who weren't being treated like human beings just because they were retarded or mentally ill. He's home every single night to put his children to bed and help out. He's there every morning to put his daughter on the bus to school. He's home all weekend long with them. Seeing me a couple hours here and there doesn't take away from his being a good father. And he will always break plans with me to go home immediately if one of them is sick or needs him in any other way. I get upset when he does this, but honestly if he was the kind of man who would come fit in a quickie with me instead of going straight home to his feverish baby, i probably wouldn't love him this much, because that would be arsehole behaviour.

 

Im sure his relationship with his W is lacking, so maybe he's not a perfect H, but I also doubt she is a perfect W. Probably because, shocker here, but NO ONE is perfect and even if a person doesn't cheat on their spouse, they can still be a horrid spouse.

 

You can't say someone is a bad person or bad father because all you know about them is that they spend a couple hours here and there with another woman in a manner that you personally deem inappropriate and wrong. This behaviour is not even remotely comparable to a man who beats his wife, or doesn't bother helping with his children, or is a deadbeat bum without a job who doesn't try to care for anyone, or spends all his free time having a pint with his friends at the pub all night instead of being home with his family on the weekends. THOSE are bad people, and bad fathers.

 

Very well said! BRAVO!!!!

[OpenBook]

Whether people like to admit it or not, sex is a very important part of a relationship, and is normally a pretty good indicator in therapy sessions I have with patients as to how healthy their relationship really is. When a woman says "oh, we don't have sex very often but it's ok, we are beyond that, we are still happy" I tend to look at the man as she is saying this and he tends to look down and unhappy, not wanting to disagree but obviously NOT agreeing. Men use sex to express their emotions in many ways. Gracing your partner with sex once a month or less than that is ignoring a basic need that human beings have. There has to be SOME compromise....no?

 

You hit the nail on the head here, KG. I've often wondered, as these BS's dive-bomb the OW's threads here, what their H's are really thinking. The BS always insists her H is happy, she gives him plenty of sex at home, etc., etc., ad nauseum. Kinda hard to believe - if he was so happy, then why did he / is he cheating on her??

 

That said, I don't know how anyone keeps up a sizzling sex life after they've been married for awhile (more than 5 years together). The institution of marriage is NOT conducive to great sex. There's too much familiarity, day-to-day stresses - too much REALITY interfering. Sex is triggered by the unknown, exciting, unpredictable - none of which is present in a long-term marriage. And men typically have such a strong sex drive, most of them aren't willing to suppress it for the rest of their lives - even though most of them would also rather chop off their own arms than divorce and give up their families. Hence you have the vast majority of MM cheating on their W's... no matter how wonderful the W is. It's the only practicable solution.

 

Being a W is a raw deal, any way you look at it!!!

[Billie63]

A recent survey here in the UK found that 25 per cent of men who cheat said there had been no problems in the marriage before starting the affair.

 

In the same survey 50 per of women who cheat said there were problems in the marriage.

 

I truly believe the majority of men who cheat do so because it's an ego boost. Which kind of backs up what so many people on this forum say - the affair is about the man's needs, not the OW's.

[OWoman]

A recent survey here in the UK found that 25 per cent of men who cheat said there had been no problems in the marriage before starting the affair.

 

In the same survey 50 per of women who cheat said there were problems in the marriage.

 

So women are more likely to "cheat" if there are no problems in the M, whereas 3 out of 4 men will only "cheat" if there are marital problems? That's an interesting figure, and runs counter to much popular wisdom which suggests that women need a reson to cheat, and men only an opportunity...

[Billie63]

So women are more likely to "cheat" if there are no problems in the M, whereas 3 out of 4 men will only "cheat" if there are marital problems? That's an interesting figure, and runs counter to much popular wisdom which suggests that women need a reson to cheat, and men only an opportunity...

 

No, the survey was completed by men who had cheated. Of those men, only 25 per cent had experienced marital problems leading up to the affair. With women it was 50 per cent.

[OWoman]

kismet, to get back to your original question - I think it would depend on what the stakes were, how honestly he answered your question. Like Lizzie, I've found MMs to be extremely honest about this - but then, they have little or nothing to lose by being honest, and it's easier than remembering some made up answer down the track.

 

On the other hand, in an A where the OW is emotionally invested, and possibly hopeful of more than an A, then the MM stands to lose a lot by giving the "wrong" answer and is far more likely to try - consciously or otherwise - to get the answer "right" so as not to lose out.

 

If your MM knows how much you're invested in this - and the fact that you're asking at all will tip him off - he's likely to tell you what you want to hear so as not to rock the boat. For his own peace of mind, as well as what he's second-guessing yours to be.

[OWoman]

No, the survey was completed by men who had cheated. Of those men, only 25 per cent had experienced marital problems leading up to the affair. With women it was 50 per cent.

 

 

OK, that's different to what you posted earlier:

 

A recent survey here in the UK found that 25 per cent of men who cheat said there had been no problems in the marriage before starting the affair.

 

typo, I guess.

[Billie63]

OK, that's different to what you posted earlier:

 

 

 

typo, I guess.

 

yes you're right! I got that wrong first time around. Sorry!!!

[JamesM]

A recent survey here in the UK found that 25 per cent of men who cheat said there had been no problems in the marriage before starting the affair.

 

Interesting attempt at spin. What this survey also says is that 75% of the men who cheat said there WERE problems before starting the affair. In other words, very few had affairs while their marriage (by their own statements) were good.

 

In the same survey 50 per of women who cheat said there were problems in the marriage.

 

So, 75% of the men had affairs when in poor marriages, and 50% of the women cheated when in poor marriages. This shows that most affairs happen when marriages are bad.

 

I truly believe the majority of men who cheat do so because it's an ego boost. Which kind of backs up what so many people on this forum say - the affair is about the man's needs, not the OW's.

 

As a guy, I agree and disagree. Men seek affirmation and love first from their wives. When this does not happen, then they seek it elsewhere. Most do not actively seek it, but when the moment arrives they are ready (and probably many use Cialis, too! . Sorry, I just realized why that last sentence sounded so familiar.). But if their wives had simply did as they promised, then the affair would not have happened.

 

Believe it or not, most men want sex with their wives. But when the wives do not want it or even attempt to pretend to want it, then the men feel that if the promise to stay faithful is not being reciprocated, then why is extramarital sex any worse than the wife's withholding of sex?

 

Does that mean the men are not to blame? No. What it does mean is that it takes two to make a marriage work. And speaking for myself I can say that I have exhausted almost every possible means to make my wife realize the importance of sex. She knows we do not have enough, but like a person with a full belly, since she has no hunger she cannot understand my "hunger."

 

I fault nobody who has affairs. I do not say I condone them, but I understand the reasoning behind them. And to simply say that it is "just an ego boost" is false. For many people who cheat (if not the majority), the affair would NOT have happened if their partners had been more attentive to their needs.

 

What? I thought marriage was 100% giving? It is, but it isn't. When the man or woman keeps giving and nothing is returned in gratitude, then eventually even the strongest become resentful and exhausted.

 

Oh yes, I know the next protest. The cheater should be more attentive to his partner, too. If he had only tried a little harder or spent more time with his wife, then things may have been different. And that may be true, but it is surprising to me that most people DO try everything possible to change the situation. And as long as they have yet something else to try, the hope remains alive that the marriage may still be happy.

 

I can say with 100% confidence that most people who say "If I had only known before, then I would have changed" would not have changed. Why? Because the urgency for change came only after the realization of how bad the marriage was. Without the affair, the partner who thought sex was not important would have never changed. If I went to my wife and said that "Things need to change, because I think next month when I meet Sally I just may end up in an affair," do you honestly think she will say, "You have a good point. I need to change some things." I highly doubt it. The fact is....she will act towards me as if I already had the affair...instead of looking at it as a wakeup call.

 

As Lizzie said, these wives (and some husbands) figure that their partner will remain faithful even when they themselves selfishly withhold sex.

 

I am living it. And yes, I believe that at some point if things do not change, I will break. As long as I have hope, then I can keep trying.

 

Sorry a little off topic.

[JamesM]

...........................

[Owl]

Paying women for sex????? When did this discussion turn to prositution, Owl? MM isn't my sugardaddie for chrissake. Considering Im single and he's supporting a family of five, I actually make more than he does, and when Im a doctor, I'll be making waaaaay more than he does.

 

Sorry Kismet...there's a cross spin here you're not aware of. Lizzie's...experience...is predominately based on her "second profession". And that's specifically what I was referring to in my response to her, and how it biases her opinion and views. With the exception of ONE young man, the vast majority of Lizzie's MM are actually 'clients".

 

Just because someone is having an A, doesn't make them a bad person, or bad father. Their love and actions towards their children, is entirely seperate from their love towards their wife. MM is a great dad. He is ALWAYS there for his children. He works two jobs to support them so his wife could be a SAHM like she wanted to be. He works in a field where the pay is ****e, but he came here from the UK just so he could work in a field where he was helping people and caring for sick people that couldn't do it for their own, even though he is absolutely brilliant and could have been some ass**le businessman making millions instead. I've seen him fight to the end to defend the patients we had when him and I worked together who weren't being treated like human beings just because they were retarded or mentally ill. He's home every single night to put his children to bed and help out. He's there every morning to put his daughter on the bus to school. He's home all weekend long with them. Seeing me a couple hours here and there doesn't take away from his being a good father. And he will always break plans with me to go home immediately if one of them is sick or needs him in any other way. I get upset when he does this, but honestly if he was the kind of man who would come fit in a quickie with me instead of going straight home to his feverish baby, i probably wouldn't love him this much, because that would be arsehole behaviour.

 

Yes, it does make him a bad father. It reflects his views on how he treats women, and his vows, on his entire outlook and mindset. Who he is has a tremendous impact on who his children become.

 

He's teaching his kids a lot of things about love, marriage, honor, vows. He's telling them one thing about "doing the right thing, not what you want"...and then turning right around and destroying that lesson and message by his actions.

 

Eventually, the affair will come out. Its entirely likely that one day his kids will learn about it too. Even if they don't...his mindset will still dictate a lot of the values that he teaches his kids.

 

So....I'm sorry, but at the end of the day...being an affair partner DOES indicate a poor parent.

 

Im sure his relationship with his W is lacking, so maybe he's not a perfect H, but I also doubt she is a perfect W. Probably because, shocker here, but NO ONE is perfect and even if a person doesn't cheat on their spouse, they can still be a horrid spouse.

 

You can't say someone is a bad person or bad father because all you know about them is that they spend a couple hours here and there with another woman in a manner that you personally deem inappropriate and wrong. This behaviour is not even remotely comparable to a man who beats his wife, or doesn't bother helping with his children, or is a deadbeat bum without a job who doesn't try to care for anyone, or spends all his free time having a pint with his friends at the pub all night instead of being home with his family on the weekends. THOSE are bad people, and bad fathers.

 

His relationship with his wife IS lacking. But there's no way to tell from here if the REASON its lacking is founded in problems with her, or simply defects in HIS personality and reasoning.

 

Those problems could be a direct result of his selfishness. Yes, he IS selfish...clearly...his affair indicates that.

 

What makes him a bad father is his clear demonstration of bad values. Of bad decision making. He's a bad father by the simple example he is setting for his children by choosing to spend time boinking someone other than his wife.

[Billie63]

James, I posted the wrong info. 75 per cent of the men who cheated said there were no problems in marriage - a typo on my part, I apologise.

[JamesM]

 

Yes, it does make him a bad father. It reflects his views on how he treats women, and his vows, on his entire outlook and mindset. Who he is has a tremendous impact on who his children become.

 

Based on this logic, then every man or woman who is divorced is a bad parent. They are showing their children how temporary the marriage vows are. "Until death" is actually a lie.

 

He's teaching his kids a lot of things about love, marriage, honor, vows. He's telling them one thing about "doing the right thing, not what you want"...and then turning right around and destroying that lesson and message by his actions.

 

As does anyone who divorces.

 

So....I'm sorry, but at the end of the day...being an affair partner DOES indicate a poor parent.

 

By your definition, only those who stay in their marriages are good parents. Those who divorce or cheat are not.

 

I disagree.

 

His relationship with his wife IS lacking. But there's no way to tell from here if the REASON its lacking is founded in problems with her, or simply defects in HIS personality and reasoning.

 

One thing is certain...in most cases, it is something lacking in the marriage. And if one partner is unhappy, then both partners are at fault.

 

As hard as this may be for the BS to hear, if he or she had known what the problems were, then he or she could have fixed them, too. And in many cases, the cheating partner made it very clear of the marriage problems, but the partner did not want to hear...or was simply selfish and assumed that the problems were not important because they were not a problem to her or him.

 

Those problems could be a direct result of his selfishness. Yes, he IS selfish...clearly...his affair indicates that.

 

This is true, but the choice for an affair may have been out of desperation. He may have tried every possible way to explain the needs of the marriage. But here is the catch...anytime the cheater has a problem it is selfish, but when the BS has a problem, then the cheater should have been more attentive? Hardly logical.

 

The fact is....ALL marriage problems develop because one person has a need that is not being met. And when that person reacts because that need is not being met, it does NOT mean that the person is selfish. It means that he or she is being assertive. The alternative is to passively move along in a marriage that is only meeting the needs of one person...who by definition is selfish.

 

What makes him a bad father is his clear demonstration of bad values. Of bad decision making. He's a bad father by the simple example he is setting for his children by choosing to spend time boinking someone other than his wife.

 

Ah....here we get to the point. What choice can be made if the spouse ignores the problems of the marriage?

 

Divorce? By definition, then he is a bad parent.

Fix the marriage? Most try it so exhaustively that they become experts on marriage. And when your partner sees your needs as selfish because he or she does not have the same needs, then what?

 

Sorry....every marriage problem is a result of an unmet need. This means that every person who seeks resolution to that problem is selfish.

[Billie63]

James I agree with a lot of what you say. The term ego boost encompasses a lot:

 

Men seek affirmation and love first from their wives.

 

Seeking affirmation is essentially seeking an ego boost is it not? And by seeking affirmation it is all aboutt the cheater's needs. The cheater does not think "I will find a woman to have on the side who I can spoil and support and be there for."

 

No, he thinks "I'm not getting what I want from my wife so I will find it elsewhere."

 

With no thought for the OW, whatever he says to the contrary.

 

Obviously there are exceptions where the husband simply falls out of love with the wife and falls in love with the woman, he leaves and sets up home/marries the OW. But I'm not discusseing these type of relationships.

[jwi71]

Just because someone is having an A, doesn't make them a bad person, or bad father.

Yes it does. An affair by definition requires lies, deceit and betrayal. By not only the WS but the OW/OM as well. Furthermore, both parties know they are wrong yet continue anyway. Both parties know the pain the BS (and in this case children as well) will experience if the affair is known or made public. Yet they persist. For me, when a person chooses to do something wrong (lies, deceit, betrayal etc) and continues to do is not a good person. Would you assocaite with a co-worker who lied and stole ideas and took credit for the work of others - and at the expense of others?

 

 

Their love and actions towards their children, is entirely seperate from their love towards their wife. MM is a great dad. He is ALWAYS there for his children. He works two jobs to support them so his wife could be a SAHM like she wanted to be. He works in a field where the pay is ****e, but he came here from the UK just so he could work in a field where he was helping people and caring for sick people that couldn't do it for their own, even though he is absolutely brilliant and could have been some ass**le businessman making millions instead. I've seen him fight to the end to defend the patients we had when him and I worked together who weren't being treated like human beings just because they were retarded or mentally ill. He's home every single night to put his children to bed and help out. He's there every morning to put his daughter on the bus to school. He's home all weekend long with them. Seeing me a couple hours here and there doesn't take away from his being a good father. And he will always break plans with me to go home immediately if one of them is sick or needs him in any other way. I get upset when he does this, but honestly if he was the kind of man who would come fit in a quickie with me instead of going straight home to his feverish baby, i probably wouldn't love him this much, because that would be arsehole behaviour.

You speak to his character. How he works and fights for the defensless. Its inconsistent at best - witness how he cares for his wife and children (he puts his kids at risk too). You glow over his treatment of his children. Sorry, but I don't give credit for doing what you are supposed to be doing. A father is, in my book, expected to be there for his children so citing that as a "good quality" is rubbish. Although it is subtle criticism of many(?) men.

 

Im sure his relationship with his W is lacking, so maybe he's not a perfect H, but I also doubt she is a perfect W. Probably because, shocker here, but NO ONE is perfect and even if a person doesn't cheat on their spouse, they can still be a horrid spouse.

There are no perfect relationships and I do not believe that any one person can completely and at all times meet the needs of another. However, marraige being a commitment requires just that - commitment. Something he certainly doesn't have. It is odd that he strays and his W does not. What does that say to you?

 

 

You can't say someone is a bad person or bad father because all you know about them is that they spend a couple hours here and there with another woman in a manner that you personally deem inappropriate and wrong.

Again, yes we can. See my above on this theme. Except this time you add a bit of a twist...what is wrong is not the A but "our" moral compass instead. Which makes your original question somewhat silly to have even asked. What does it matter to you if your MM is having sex on the side...it is morally acceptable to you and him. And as morally acceptable behavior, it is to be expected - perhaps even encouraged. There is obviously nothing wrong with cheating (can we even call it cheating at this point?) for you. So accept it. Expect it. Encourage it.

 

This behaviour is not even remotely comparable to a man who beats his wife, or doesn't bother helping with his children, or is a deadbeat bum without a job who doesn't try to care for anyone, or spends all his free time having a pint with his friends at the pub all night instead of being home with his family on the weekends. THOSE are bad people, and bad fathers

.

 

Well this paragraph is patently absurd. There is no need to pump up the qulaities of your MM to make an A seem ok or "not so bad as compared to what he could be doing". Although it is odd that you feel the need to say this. Why did you need to compare his morally acceptable behavior to physical abuse and neglect?

[JamesM]

James, I posted the wrong info. 75 per cent of the men who cheated said there were no problems in marriage - a typo on my part, I apologise.

 

Do you have a link?

 

I will do a search myself to see what I come up with.

 

BTW, many men do not admit there is a problem as this means that they could not solve the problem.

 

But if as you say the numbers are reversed, them my first argument is eliminated.

[JamesM]

James I agree with a lot of what you say. The term ego boost encompasses a lot:

 

Men seek affirmation and love first from their wives.

 

Seeking affirmation is essentially seeking an ego boost is it not? And by seeking affirmation it is all about the cheater's needs. The cheater does not think "I will find a woman to have on the side who I can spoil and support and be there for."

 

This is why I agreed with you...yet disagreed. It is an ego boost/affirmation that should be met in the marriage. When it is not, THEN he seeks it elsewhere.

 

As I said before, every marriage problem is about a need of someone. Hence, every marriage need is a selfish need.

 

No, he thinks "I'm not getting what I want from my wife so I will find it elsewhere."

 

With no thought for the OW, whatever he says to the contrary.

 

I do not think it is quite this obvious of a choice. Rather he is placed in a situation where a woman is willing to meet the needs that his wife refuses to meet.

 

Obviously there are exceptions where the husband simply falls out of love with the wife and falls in love with the woman, he leaves and sets up home/marries the OW. But I'm not discusseing these type of relationships.

 

Except all affairs start out the same. So all relationships fall into this category...even if they end up in marriage.

[Billie63]

He works in a field where the pay is ****e, but he came here from the UK just so he could work in a field where he was helping people and caring for sick people that couldn't do it for their own, even though he is absolutely brilliant and could have been some ass**le businessman making millions instead.

 

Sorry Kismet he sounds like someone with little ambition who likes to be a small fish in a big pond. Arsehole businessmen making millions can help the community in ways just as worthy as your MM.

 

 

I think you'll outgrow him. You've obviously got prospects, will be earning shedloads soon and will find you'll want a partner who can keep up with you financially. You will travel well, eat well, dress well, socialise well -all this costs but you will be able to afford it. But he wont', cos he's got three kids to raise.

[Billie63]

I do not think it is quite this obvious of a choice. Rather he is placed in a situation where a woman is willing to meet the needs that his wife refuses to meet.

 

This is true. But do you not see how truly selfish this statement is towards the OW?

[JamesM]

Yes it does. An affair by definition requires lies, deceit and betrayal.

 

Would you assocaite with a co-worker who lied and stole ideas and took credit for the work of others - and at the expense of others?

 

Agreed. But when we so vehemently speak against the cheater, we imply that the BS is innocent. Far from it.

 

Would you associate with someone who refuses to give you your fair due? Would you honor the contract of an employer who would not give you a paycheck?

 

A father is, in my book, expected to be there for his children so citing that as a "good quality" is rubbish. Although it is subtle criticism of many(?) men.

 

So when a father is not there, he is slandered, but when he is there? Oh well? Not.

 

It IS a good quality when a man is there for his children.

 

It is odd that he strays and his W does not. What does that say to you?

 

Her needs are being met.

 

 

Sorry. Affairs and cheating are wrong. I agree.

 

However, it is just as wrong to make the assumption that the marriage would have been perfect if he had not cheated. The fact is...affairs do NOT happen in a vacuum. They result from a poor marriage.

 

Whose fault is the affair? Mostly the one who cheats, but also the one who refuses to fix the problems.

 

We verbally crucify the cheater but exalt the partner. We say he was selfish for wanting sex and breaking his marital vow, but we ignore the one who refused to give sex and in doing so broker her marital vow.

 

Marriage is a two way street, and affairs happen when one person feels he or she reached a dead end with no cooperation from the other person.

[Billie63]

James I couldn't find a link to that survey. i read it in the Daily Mirror today but couldn't find a link to it on their website. The feature also goes into how an affair can wreck your physical health.

[JamesM]

I do not think it is quite this obvious of a choice. Rather he is placed in a situation where a woman is willing to meet the needs that his wife refuses to meet.

 

This is true. But do you not see how truly selfish this statement is towards the OW?

 

It all depends on what the OW wants or expects from the relationship.

 

If a MM goes to a woman who gives sex for pay, then he is getting his needs met and he is not selfish, right?

[KismetGirl]

All this back and forth is giving me a headache. i think i got my question answered. At the end of the day people have their own views on things and no amount of arguing will change their opinion. it's like trying to convince a devout catholic god doesn't exist. Futile despite their lack of concrete evidence to the contrary.

 

Seriously, my head hurts so bad today I want to cry. MM canceled plans to see me today, which happens, I guess. One of the patients we both worked with back in the day had to have emergency surgery today so he won't be available till too late for me, I have plans later.

 

But what really bothered me today was my co-worker. This guy , i swear, he never talks much, but lately he's been acting strange. Today he comes in my office and asks me if he can "talk" to me. He's always been friendly with me, but never this close. He tells me he's been having an affair with this woman (he's married) for like two years, and he found out last night that she got in a car accident and died. He started crying in my freaking office because he said he's loved her these two years mroe than any woman he'd ever known and he never told her and he hadn't wanted to break up his family, and now she was dead and he could never tell her.

What a f**king depressing day.