Is he Cheating?

[Blue-eyed-girl-85]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Hi,[/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]So I’m new here and this will be long but I really need your help. I’ve been in a relationship for about a year but I cant help but be extremely jealous and paranoid. My bf hasn’t been around with too many people sexually, however he has had many girlfriends, all of whom still go to him with all of their problems. He was a player and all of these ex girlfriends warned me of this, although it wasn’t too helpful seeing as they all wanted to get back together with him and were just trying to get me out of the picture ( they’ve all told me this). There are two girls in particular that I am especially freaked out about. I am my BF longest relationship and I realize im paranoid about a lot of these things but a lot of them also don’t make sense. I can give you many examples however I will just give you the biggest events that have threatened our relationship.[/FONT][/sIZE]

 

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• [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]There is this one girl who has openly admitted to a friend of mine that she was trying to break us up because she was still in love with him and that they were meant to be together. My partner has always tried to help people when they need it, but she was constantly texting him and calling him even though he knew I didn’t like it. Finally I told him that enough was enough, he has told me that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but why is it so necessary for him to talk to her when he knows I dislike her. So he told me he had stopped talking to her. I have recently found that he was still texting her once in a while, although he told me he had stopped. I know that he never starts talking to her, but he always answers the texts. He has since blocked her from his emails and his chat rooms, and when I found out that he was still texting her, he told me he would block her number, but he shouldn’t have to block her number for me to be able to trust that he doesn’t talk to her. I have gotten numerous emails from her and I realize that he tries to stop her from talking to him, but is he really doing as much as he could.[/FONT][/sIZE]
  
• [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] I hate to admit it, but I have been snooping through his computer. I am usually completely against it, but I really couldn’t help not knowing whether or not I’m wasting my time on this guy no matter how much I do love him. Unfortunately, I found things that have caused a huge problem. While he knows that I have snooped because I have told him, he didn’t care. It didn’t bother him that I did. But I found conversations he’s had online with this girl that I don’t know at all. He never openly said things that would prove cheating, but he said things that definitely implied it. He was telling her that she shouldn’t be so insecure and that he wished he saw the beauty she had, and that they should hang out more, that even though he had a girlfriend, it didn’t mean it wasn’t impossible for him to like someone else. As you probably would have guessed, this is another one of the girls that are in love with him. I know that after this most girls would leave right away and I feel like such a hypocrite, because I have always told myself I wouldn’t stay with someone who mistreated me, and I never have in the past, but I love him more than anyone else. Have any of you had to break up with someone you were completely and totally in love with. I know people get past cheating, if that is even what it is, but should I even bother?[/FONT][/sIZE]
  
• [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] I don’t think that he should be choosing to hurt my feelings by talking to her over hurting her feelings by not talking to her. [/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman]In his past, my BF was a huge flirt and he has admitted to cheating on other GF’s. He has been completely honest about his past relationships but it still worries me that it could happen again. People have always told me that he is the type to get bored easily. I don’t feel like I should use his past against him because it doesn’t really have much relevancy to the person he is now. He has completely changed from in the past. When we have problems, he does anything he can to fix them, and I honestly believe that his mistakes in the past have been complete stupidity on his part. While I know some of the things he But he has always tried to fix them. He has taken the password off his phone, he has deleted contacts and done many other things to try to make me feel more comfortable about the person he is now. [/FONT][/sIZE]
  

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT][/sIZE][FONT=Times New Roman]This is by far my most serious relationship. He has told me things that he has never told anybody else, and I know that he trusts me. But it scares me to think of losing him, yet I need to think about what’s best for me. What do you guys think? Am I just being paranoid or is there a really serious problem here that I need to address or do I just call it quits? Any help would be appreciated and thank you for taking the time to read all of this. It’s like I’m back in high school again.[/FONT]

[Caitlan]

Some people play around (men and women) until they find the one and then they stop. Others play around and even if they have found the one they still play as they know they are a hot commodity and it's easy so they say why not.. what she doesn't know won't hurt her. You can't know for sure what he's up to if anything. Chatting online with the oppisite sex always causes problems as it often leads to emotional cheating and then a physical meet. I don't know what to tell you... I know that I thought I once had a great guy and he was very open with me like your guy is and it turned out he was cheating on me.

 

One thing for sure is I'd tell him that this woman that is contacting you and texting him has to stop 100 percent. That is something I'd put my foot down on.. no contact... that should be a good test for him to see if he's going to respect you and consider your feelings.... The rest of it is a "who knows" at this point. Does the past indicate the future behavior... often... but not always.