slid3r Posted August 24, 2003 Share Posted August 24, 2003 Ok...i know most of you guys have the same sort of problems...but here it is, my own version: I meet this girl..she is a bit older than me and we have totaly different lifestyles and families. We are so different and yet we understand eachother sooo easy. She is really good looking ( a model ) and she gets hit on by almost any guy that has the guts to do it! At that time it was only the looks that attracted me, so we kept seeing eachother only as friends. Now, we do nearly everything together and she did say "best friends" and "your my little brother". The worst part is that i just figured im falling for her really bad. We talk alot about relationships and she told me how its really hard for her to find the right type of guy or to fall in love. What is this supposed to mean ? Is she trying to warn me Another thing i cant understand is why she keeps telling me how she has "trust" in me. She keeps asking me to do decisions for her...like what nail polish to wear, what clothers to put on, or whats my opinion about certian people. I really dont know if she has me just as a friend or she actually has feelings for me. I need help on this one.... how can i know ? Any tips anyone ? We see each other way too often and i cant hold my feelings much longer. 1 week ago she met this other guy ( i was there ) she said she doesnt like him at all, and then yestarday i saw him kiss her...it almost broke my heart ;/ She is not a player...she is good looking and really hates to turn people down, so she ends up with alot of male friends, most of them probably being in the same situation as me. Anyways...i love her and there is no way I could tell her...i really have to be sure first :/ What should i do ? Stop seeing her or perhaps try to get her jealous and see if it works ? Please help ;x Link to post Share on other sites
Author slid3r Posted August 24, 2003 Author Share Posted August 24, 2003 Sorry about all the spelling mistakes ;x its 4am after all Link to post Share on other sites
amory62 Posted August 24, 2003 Share Posted August 24, 2003 hey! don't be so down on yourself... the reason why she's friends with you is NOT out of pity. if you see her "way too often," then its clear she enjoys spending time with you. however, i was in a similar situation as your girl-friend, and a very close male friend of mine outrightly said he loved me, which scared me and made me uncomfortable, because i didn't know how to react, even though i cared about him deeply. i have also been on your side, and i know its difficult to suppress such emotions. your best bets would be to: (depending on personality) 1. jokingly reference her romantically, or allude to it casually... (ie. if you've made plans to go see a game, play, show, etc... say something like, so are you excited for our Big Date?) 2. i read once that guys react to physical touch, whereas girls react positively to verbal contact... so try not to put your arm around her right away, but maybe slip a "honey" or "sweetheart" in there sometime, and see how she reacts... i guarantee she won't dismiss you, and will most likely be flattered... however, be wary of using it a second time, because... if she likes this habit, she will be receptive to it, but if she doesn't, she might say something... 3. go out to dinner with her, and simply say something like, listen, i was wondering if you thought this friendship was going anywhere, and if not, that's wonderful, because i love being your friend... (but... you can say, oh someone i know asked me out on a date, and i just wanted to see your reaction to it, just to see what you thought, and i just wanted to let you know).... 4. tell her exactly how you feel IN PERSON! phone calls, emails, etc... make for messy situations... ........ but anyway, do what feels right... just be slow and careful, because she might just be inclined to date you, but she also might get scared by a declaration of love... and... don't worry about that guy, if her attitude towards you isn't changing, then everything is fine... don't get despondent about things you are uncertain of. so... good luck! hope everything works out for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author slid3r Posted August 25, 2003 Author Share Posted August 25, 2003 Thanks for the possitive reply amory62. Thanks for all the advise...it really did make me feel better. I did speak to her today...( phone ) and we got to the point were she said she had a date with this guy today but couldnt make it. I asked her if she likes him that much and she said he has "really bad personality" and the only thing she wants is to find out why he is intrested in her ( he is a "player" ). So... I told her she is really good looking, smart, funny and friendly...and then i told her there is no need for her to see him again because i answered her question. Then...afted a bit of silence i got "Your really cute. Im so happy i know you" and that was it. You think I actually stand a chance of wining her heart ? I mean... she said im "cute" .. isn't this just too friendly ? Link to post Share on other sites
JetScooterSteve Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 dude, i think you have a chance, just keep working at it. compliment her a bit, but not too much. "cute" can sometimes be good, but just be patient and you'll have her in 40 years. lol jk, probably soon but i cant tell either Link to post Share on other sites
insearchof Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 yeah man...i hear ya...i was in the same situation..i met this girl...we became the best of friends...practically did EVERYTHING together, went EVERYWHERE together....we would lay around with eachother and everything that couples would do....she would tell me her biggest secrets cause she trusted me.....finally i told her howi felt bout her and that i really liked her...she told me we were just friend only and that she was sorry....and then she went back out with her old boyfriend and now we RARELY talk.....i believe she used me and so do my friends...we see eachother all the time but no words are spoken.....just watch out man....girls can be mean......dont get sucked into the game like i did.....id say ur best bet would be to ignore her and see if she really does enjoy havin u around.....i know it'll be hard....but thats the way to find out......goodluck man... Link to post Share on other sites
JetScooterSteve Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 i go with search boy here, look for main clues into if she really does like ya, or your friendship might turn to **** Link to post Share on other sites
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