MsCrazy Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 I have been friends with this guy for 9 years. He is the guy friend in a group of about 5 girls. Anyway I have basically already put him in the "friendzone" since I have known him for so long and therefore not attracted to him sexually. Anyway we are both single and one night joked about messing around. We had sex. Afterwards I kind of regretted it. The sex was ok but I just don't see him like that. 2 weeks pass and he text me about how he was surprised he hasn't heard from me. (we normally don't talk that much) he said he didn't think I was that type of girl. What does that mean?? We are friends. Saw him last night because I was hanging out with my girlfriends. I left around 10 and he texts me saying so you just used me for sex to get your fix. I just don't know what the hell he wants. If he wanted to DATE me he should have treated me as such, and not just a random hookup. I don't want to sleep with him anymore. It was wierd for me. What should I tell him? I don't want to upset him since I HAVE to see him. We have the same friends. I'm just confused I thought we were just having fun but he is acting like he wants a relationship. I feel like the guy right now! LOL. He is being such a girl Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 He wants to have sex again! If the issue is that you want more than fwb, then nows the chance to tell him. If the issue is "ewww, I feel like I just slept with my brother", then tell him that kindly. The I feel like you used me, is his avoidant way of saying, what happened, was it not good for you. What's surprising is that HE was waiting for YOUR call. Why not establish contact first. MEN and their fragile egos! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 OP, how close of friends were you really? It sounds like the two of you don't know each other at all, from the recitation here....fill us in... Tell me about the last romantic situation in his life he shared with you Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 I have been friends with this guy for 9 years. He is the guy friend in a group of about 5 girls. Anyway I have basically already put him in the "friendzone" since I have known him for so long and therefore not attracted to him sexually. Anyway we are both single and one night joked about messing around. We had sex. Afterwards I kind of regretted it. The sex was ok but I just don't see him like that. 2 weeks pass and he text me about how he was surprised he hasn't heard from me. (we normally don't talk that much) he said he didn't think I was that type of girl. What does that mean?? We are friends. Saw him last night because I was hanging out with my girlfriends. I left around 10 and he texts me saying so you just used me for sex to get your fix. I just don't know what the hell he wants. If he wanted to DATE me he should have treated me as such, and not just a random hookup. I don't want to sleep with him anymore. It was wierd for me. What should I tell him? I don't want to upset him since I HAVE to see him. We have the same friends. I'm just confused I thought we were just having fun but he is acting like he wants a relationship. I feel like the guy right now! LOL. He is being such a girl I'd just be greatful that you're getting some . Link to post Share on other sites
Author MsCrazy Posted October 10, 2008 Author Share Posted October 10, 2008 I'd just be greatful that you're getting some . LOL yeah but it wasn't that good. I don't look at him in that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MsCrazy Posted October 10, 2008 Author Share Posted October 10, 2008 OP, how close of friends were you really? It sounds like the two of you don't know each other at all, from the recitation here....fill us in... Tell me about the last romantic situation in his life he shared with you Sorry I was trying to make my post as short as possible. There is a group of about 6 of us. Five girls and then him. We are all really good friends. I have been friends with him through every gf he has had. He had met all of my bf's. We go out as friends to grab a bite to eat watch a movie or do whatever for the past 9 years. So yes he is or WAS a good friend of mine. But I really wish I could take it back. I was in the mood since it had been a while but afterwards I felt so empty. Now when I look at him the thought of us doing that makes me feel sick. I know I have to tell him it was a mistake, but I just don't know how! I have to see him tonight for a BBQ and I know he will want to talk about it. What have I done?!?!? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 I know I have to tell him it was a mistake, but I just don't know how! I have to see him tonight for a BBQ and I know he will want to talk about it. What have I done?!?!? Thanks for expanding I would go exactly for that, facilitating communication. Talk to him earnestly and honestly, just like you've done here. IMO, such candor is the only way your prior friendship can continue. It can, you know Sex isn't the be-all and end-all of living; it's an expression of intimacy two people share. That intimacy can come from many places and have many shades. Yours came from shared safety, security and friendship, IMO. Nothing wrong with that. Get him on the same page, even if he needs time away to process, and I bet things will continue. Respect him having different feelings, if he does. Value that, even if you don't share it. It's essential that you do Don't avoid him if you want your friendship to continue.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author MsCrazy Posted October 10, 2008 Author Share Posted October 10, 2008 He wants to have sex again! If the issue is that you want more than fwb, then nows the chance to tell him. If the issue is "ewww, I feel like I just slept with my brother", then tell him that kindly. The I feel like you used me, is his avoidant way of saying, what happened, was it not good for you. What's surprising is that HE was waiting for YOUR call. Why not establish contact first. MEN and their fragile egos! Thanks for the advice. The whole thing was pretty wierd for me. Even kissing him felt so wrong. God I can't believe the mess I have got myself into. He is going to think he wasn't good in the sack. Oh well I guess I don't want to be FWB. I want a relationship with someone I really like. Link to post Share on other sites
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