9Lives Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 Has anyone experienced when your ex keep texting me things as if we are friends or something? He broke up with me. I did not want it but of course I accepted it after 3 years. I am still trying to get over it so he comes texting me things like How is your week going since you went back to work?.....I did not respond the next text is Hey you busy, I need you to help me with my computer.....I did not respond I dont get it....he is the ex....he broke up with me....I have not spoken to him for about a 2 weeks now.....he acts like it is nothing. My thing is why do you keep texting me? Are you trying to be friends? are you trying to make me feel better? are you too hard to say I miss you? Has anyone experienced this? It makes me feel good and bad at the same time. I dont want to respond cause I think I am going to get my feelings hurt cause he is going to say....I was just checking on you...that all. If he really missed me, he would say something more or come on stronger. This is bull. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 lol, just woke up and read "thongs," not "things"! okay, my 2 cents? I think he thinks that because enough time has passed, you've conveniently forgotten the fact that he broke up with you and that he broke your heart. Instead, it seems that he's gone into big, dumb, friendly puppy mode and thinks EVERYone is his friend, including the girl he dumped. am not the sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to texting, but is there a way you can block his messages? That'd cut down on the annoyance factor. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted October 11, 2008 Author Share Posted October 11, 2008 I wish there was a way but there is not. So basically, he is trying to turn me into his friend? I'm not happy about that, cause I still love him Link to post Share on other sites
unknown815 Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 In my opinion, he is missing you. He sees that you're not responding and its KILLING him. DONT RESPOND! Its his way of hinting that he still cares for you and is trying to keep the lines of communication open in the event that he wants you back. Ignoring him will only make him want you more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted October 12, 2008 Author Share Posted October 12, 2008 In my opinion, he is missing you. He sees that you're not responding and its KILLING him. DONT RESPOND! Its his way of hinting that he still cares for you and is trying to keep the lines of communication open in the event that he wants you back. Ignoring him will only make him want you more. Okay, I hope you are right. I have no intention in contacting him because I really dont want to get my feelings hurt and after all....he dumped me....I aint going to run after him. I dont want to talk!!! Link to post Share on other sites
CherishG Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 I agree with unknown, my ex still calls me every single day, and regardless how many days have gone by that I don't pick up his calls, he eventually blocks his number so I end up answering the phone. When his sneaky trick works, he tells me in weird ways of wishing things were back to the way they were, or just the way he talks. And trust me, u kno why they do that? They notice that youre not calling or saying anything or responding to it, and idk its just some sick game to boost their egos if u ask me. Like today, he had the nerve to call me like almost 10 times throughout the whole day. I finally answered tonight thinking something terrible happened to him coz I still care deeply. But it ended up being him saying how much he misses me, asking if I still love him... blah blah. And in the end, the fact still remains = he is still with that girl. I just don't get it... so don't feel ur thinking weird about his texts, coz ur definitely not the only one. I only wish I knew what their true intentions were... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted October 12, 2008 Author Share Posted October 12, 2008 so don't feel ur thinking weird about his texts, coz ur definitely not the only one. I only wish I knew what their true intentions were... Exactly!! What are your intention. Have you asked your ex what is this about? If he is calling you 10 times in a day....seems like to me, he wants you back. Do you not want to get back with him? Link to post Share on other sites
heartoutside Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 My ex did similar things for a span of about 6 months after we broke up after 4 years. She would send me random texts here and there. I replied at first, but then I slowly grew my back bone back and stop replying al together. it drove her insane, and she started sending me more serious texts asking if we could talk....then there were moments where we would run into each other at parties and such and I wouldn't say a word to her...and she would flip even more. We eventually got back together around xmas of last year and it lasted a month. She told me that she need to be single and figure herself out...blah blah....she got back together with the same guy she left me for. The same guy she ditched to get back together with me a week before xmas. Now I wouldn't have gotten back together with her if she hadn't sent me an email saying that she made the biggest mistake of her life leaving me, basically saying everything I had been waiting to hear for 6 months. Be very careful...I agree, he's probably texting you because he misses you. And the less contact you have with him the better. He'll go insane, and you'll be able to get yourself together. I wasn't any where near being all together when I got back together with my ex. I made the wrong choice and I should have never gotten back together with her. But it's easier said then done, when you're with someone for such a long time, it's hard to turn on them and never look back.....I'm not looking back now... good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 I wish there was a way but there is not. So basically, he is trying to turn me into his friend? I'm not happy about that, cause I still love him Therre is a way. There's always a way. I take it you have 'alert' as to who's texting you? Change the name of alert to "damn pest again!!" And just delete it. Don't even read it. Be strong, do this for yourself. Don't be his friend until you are ready. He broke up with you and you weren't ready for it. He's trying to get back on friendly terms - and you're not ready for it. Do this, on YOUR terms. You know, he's whatever-age he is, but sometimes, men don't get past 9. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted October 12, 2008 Author Share Posted October 12, 2008 Don't be his friend until you are ready. He broke up with you and you weren't ready for it. He's trying to get back on friendly terms - and you're not ready for it. Do this, on YOUR terms. You know, he's whatever-age he is, but sometimes, men don't get past 9. Yes, everything from this point is going to be on MY TERMS. Right now I am not feeling this friend thing and I find it to be a insult. Why do I want to be friends with someone I love. I think they dont want to completely let go for selfish reasons. I want him back and until I can get over it....I will not be dealing with him....it is for my own good. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 I think they dont want to completely let go for selfish reasons. Correct, and I would implore you to examine why you would entertain the thought of being with or continuing with such a person Remember, love resides within you; it is within your capacity. It has nothing to do with him. His actions and words have spoken for him. Now it's your time.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted October 12, 2008 Author Share Posted October 12, 2008 I will have to think about this. I dont know why I want to get back with someone who really did not make me happy. I was not satisfied because he was not giving 100 percent. It was hard. I feel like crying because I feel confused and weird with in myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 That's a good thing, by the way. It shows that you're begining to consider other factors, other than, "I wuz his wummin but he dun me wrang"....! The confusion is actually you, beginning to see the light. It hurts, because we also think "I've been such an idiot!", but it's a learning curve, hun, it's a learning curve. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 Read the NC threads linked in my signature. You can, with hard work, change those feelings within yourself and rebuild your capacity to love in a healthy way. Your words say you know what your path is, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted October 12, 2008 Author Share Posted October 12, 2008 Im not confused about what I want. I am hurting cause I still love someone who did not treat me good and I still want him back. i Know that NC is for me and that is really all it should be for. I wish that thru this time apart that he will realize that he was not treating as well as he could have and realize that he does love me and wants to give me his best. That's the truth. Here's my thing....I am not going to do anything to influence that decision though. I am doing NC for me but I do hope that it will change our relationship to a better one. If it doesnt then being in my own world is going to be fine anyway. If he does, it still puts me a advantage cause I can see how sincere he is or if he really wants to put our relationship back on track....Either way it goes....I am doing NC for me I just hope we get back together and the relationship is what it use to be before it all changed. We had a lot in common and he use to be crazy about me. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 My thing is why do you keep texting me? Are you trying to be friends? are you trying to make me feel better? are you too hard to say I miss you? Has anyone experienced this? It makes me feel good and bad at the same time. I dont want to respond cause I think I am going to get my feelings hurt cause he is going to say....I was just checking on you...that all. If he really missed me, he would say something more or come on stronger. This is bull. Set ground rules about being friends first. If you want to be with him again, take your time to do so. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 Im not confused about what I want. I am hurting cause I still love someone who did not treat me good and I still want him back. i Know that NC is for me and that is really all it should be for. I wish that thru this time apart that he will realize that he was not treating as well as he could have and realize that he does love me and wants to give me his best. That's the truth. Here's my thing....I am not going to do anything to influence that decision though. I am doing NC for me but I do hope that it will change our relationship to a better one. If it doesnt then being in my own world is going to be fine anyway. If he does, it still puts me a advantage cause I can see how sincere he is or if he really wants to put our relationship back on track....Either way it goes....I am doing NC for me I just hope we get back together and the relationship is what it use to be before it all changed. We had a lot in common and he use to be crazy about me. It sounds like he was giving you 100% and something happened that caused him to distance himself from you? If you hope to get back with this man, then let him know your intentions but not from such a needy position. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 It sounds like he was giving you 100% and something happened that caused him to distance himself from you? If you hope to get back with this man, then let him know your intentions but not from such a needy position. Good luck. I may have been needy...I am not sure. I think he provoked insecurity in me by the way he acted sometimes. Kinda secretive and mysterious. That would trigger that in me maybe. He did change. He said it was him. I wont be making in contact until I am stronger. I still have been thinking about everything and I really want to get over him. I feel like he didnt treat me as well as he could have. It wasnt like that all the time but i was there for him in some really hard times in his life and I dont think he appreciated it in the end. I think he did not love me. He may have but I did not always feel like he did. I dont want to be emotionallly so tied to someone who is not sure of his love for me. He has alot to think about too. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Isnt he married? Do I have the wrong guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Dmoney28 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 I think he is afraid you either moved on or found someone else. Its the classic side effect of NC by the dumpee. The dumper feels if they keep in contact that somehow they are 1. trying to be friendly and throughing you a sympathy bone 2.Keeping tabs on you in a way, to see if you have gotten over them and moved on 3. Guilty about leaving you and having second thoughts Im going through the same thing with my ex...she kicked my ass to the curb, rightfully so..i was sa cumbag. I got my life together and did a complete turn around from my former self. She tells me she needs space. Cool i say, i hurt you, take all the time you want and need. So i go into NC to allow her and myself to heal and move on. Them every 4 days or so she txt's me to "see how im doing", and proceeds to txt throughout the day as if were still best friends. If yu want to send a clear msg to them, do NC and only answer 1 time per 4 times he calls...thats if you want him back...if not, cut him off...save you and him the struggle of continued pain. You cant keep doing this song and dance forever. Link to post Share on other sites
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