Lisa Posted March 31, 2000 Share Posted March 31, 2000 My bf of 7 months and i broke up a week ago. It was mutual in that we both said we were not in love with each other; the "sparks" were not major, but we were great companions, had a wonderful time together, he called every day, we saw each other about 4 nights a week. But neither of us could see a "future" together (I am 17 years older than him). That didn't bother him at all though.We agreed to be friends and still will run into each other due to shared friends and activities. One week after the break up I called and asked if he wanted to "date" each other; we could each date others if we wanted. He said it was not something he wanted to do right now, but maybe in the future we could. He wanted to leave this option open. He said he missed me a little. What are the chances this could work and he could come back? Neither of us is communicative and that hurt our relationship. In fact, during the break up we both agreed that if we had talked like this before, things would have been very different. Do you think he will want me back, and if so, when? help! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 31, 2000 Share Posted March 31, 2000 What are the chances this could work and he could come back? Every person that is heartbroken asks this question and the answer is usually very sad. The chances this could work are slim because it didn't work and you broke up. The chances he could come back are a bit better, not much, but unless there are dramatic changes in the manner of interaction and the chemistry, those same dynamics that cause you to split will reappear and things won't last. Do you think he will want me back, and if so, when? He likely will come back right after another lady hurts him or divorces him. I pray that you will be with someone else and unable to accomodate him at that time. You stated in your post that you both agreed you were not in love, the sparks were not major, neither of you could see a future together but you were great companions and had a good time together. That makes you friends...not the stuff of romantic relationships. Accept this and move on. Why do I have the feeling you a deceiving yourself when you say you are not in love with this dude??? Link to post Share on other sites
Shirley Posted April 1, 2000 Share Posted April 1, 2000 My bf of 7 months and i broke up a week ago. It was mutual in that we both said we were not in love with each other; the "sparks" were not major, but we were great companions, had a wonderful time together, he called every day, we saw each other about 4 nights a week. But neither of us could see a "future" together (I am 17 years older than him). That didn't bother him at all though.We agreed to be friends and still will run into each other due to shared friends and activities. One week after the break up I called and asked if he wanted to "date" each other; we could each date others if we wanted. He said it was not something he wanted to do right now, but maybe in the future we could. He wanted to leave this option open. He said he missed me a little. What are the chances this could work and he could come back? Neither of us is communicative and that hurt our relationship. In fact, during the break up we both agreed that if we had talked like this before, things would have been very different. Do you think he will want me back, and if so, when? help! Hi! Accept this man as a friend, but not someone to share a lifetime romantic commitment with. Doing that will limit your chances of meeting the man you will fall in love with. One thing about the passion. Chemistry is something you feel right away if you have it. It's not something that can be learned or felt in time. You probably love this man as a dear friend, but you need more than that to be happy in a lifetime commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Posted April 2, 2000 Share Posted April 2, 2000 To Tony and Shirley You are both right. I think I love him as a dear friend and I also think that I COULD love him as more if there were some things that were changed. But those may be major changes and it is not worth it after all. Thank you both for answering me. I think it is true that people know in their guts what the right thing to do is and we have done it. It is just hard following through. He is not the right person for me right now, and trying to hang on will only cause me to not meet someone who might be. and yes, Tony, part of me does love him more than I am ready to admit, even to myself. But I think this is the final break up and we both must move on. If something is meant to be, it will happen. And if he does come back, after realizing that he could not find someone else as right for him as me, then I hope I do have the strength to say no. Thanks so much to both of you! Hi! Accept this man as a friend, but not someone to share a lifetime romantic commitment with. Doing that will limit your chances of meeting the man you will fall in love with. One thing about the passion. Chemistry is something you feel right away if you have it. It's not something that can be learned or felt in time. You probably love this man as a dear friend, but you need more than that to be happy in a lifetime commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
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