Bill Posted April 1, 2000 Share Posted April 1, 2000 my wife doesnt seem interested in anything about us anymore. we have had major sex problems. she has had health issues and we have gone months at a time without sex and the health problems are now gone. she had a histerectomy and now the sex is gone and the affection and passion too. i confront her and tell her i need her to show her love for me but it turns to a big arguement. now i tend to be bitter because im dying inside to feel loved and she says she cant because i talk bitter to her now. ive been faithfully by herside through it all and will till the end but i have needs to and she just isnt interested in helping. please any advice for the lost hearted Link to post Share on other sites
Shirley Posted April 1, 2000 Share Posted April 1, 2000 my wife doesnt seem interested in anything about us anymore. we have had major sex problems. she has had health issues and we have gone months at a time without sex and the health problems are now gone. she had a histerectomy and now the sex is gone and the affection and passion too. i confront her and tell her i need her to show her love for me but it turns to a big arguement. now i tend to be bitter because im dying inside to feel loved and she says she cant because i talk bitter to her now. ive been faithfully by herside through it all and will till the end but i have needs to and she just isnt interested in helping. please any advice for the lost hearted Hi! Have the two of you talked to each other about your feelings rationally, or does it always turn into an argument? Things will only get worse if you aren't able to actually talk to each other. I know that you probably don't want to get into all your problems, here on this board, but think about the way the two of you interact. What was your sexual relationship like before the health problems started? And what was your emotional relationship like? Were you able to give her loving support while she was going through physical problems? She needs to know that you care about her feelings. And I know that the sexual frustration can be very difficult for you. Almost to the point where it's hard to think about anything else. But lashing out will never work. If you want things to get better, you have to be the strong one right now, and give of yourself, without demanding things from her. Release your sexual tension with self-pleasuring, so it will be easier for you to offer her loving support. Once her emotional needs are met, then you can start with sexual arrousal again, but take it slow. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 1, 2000 Share Posted April 1, 2000 I agree with everything Shirley said. She noted there may be many dynamics of this problem you have not posted. Shirley was very thoughtful in her advice. There would be some who, on the basis of your post, would fee the situation was hopeless. You have got a very, very serious problem and you must really talk. If your wife refuses to have some serious talks with you without getting defensive and argumentative, before taking more serious action, such as splitting, get permission to talk to her doctor and consult with a psychologist. Learn more about what she went through, the possible side effects of medications she was or is on, and the changes her body may have gone through. See how others have responded to the same illness and treatment. I think Shirley sensed there's more going on here than you say...and I do to. Link to post Share on other sites
Delissa Posted April 7, 2000 Share Posted April 7, 2000 I am a woman and all I can say is that my man hurts my feelings. He truly hurts my feelings. I love him, I love him with my soul. We just cant seem to get past this drought. I don't know what to do.? Yes, I feel insecure sometimes, but that is because I am going through something right now! I truly believe he is my SOUL MATE. I trust him, he doesnt trust me. Honestly, I dont know if I trust us! I think we are both afraid of something? All I know is I love him and love conquers all? By the way you write I can tell you are a very passionate man. And you love your wife. Hang in there. Always Delissa my wife doesnt seem interested in anything about us anymore. we have had major sex problems. she has had health issues and we have gone months at a time without sex and the health problems are now gone. she had a histerectomy and now the sex is gone and the affection and passion too. i confront her and tell her i need her to show her love for me but it turns to a big arguement. now i tend to be bitter because im dying inside to feel loved and she says she cant because i talk bitter to her now. ive been faithfully by herside through it all and will till the end but i have needs to and she just isnt interested in helping. please any advice for the lost hearted Link to post Share on other sites
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