sunnie23 Posted August 25, 2003 Share Posted August 25, 2003 a few months ago i met my biological father. at about the same time a friend of the family passed away, then my great grandma (nanny) who i was extremely close to died. about a month after all this, i became convinced my bf was going to leave me. i was so sure, and for no reason. he does give me a lot less attention then he did before, but he doesn't see it. i've been able to control my fear for the past little while, but now i've experienced another death (another family friend) and my fear is back. i'm worried he's cheating on me, or that he doesn't want to be with me. we just celebrated my birthday and he took me to a super nice restaurant and gave me a beautiful gift-i'm a writer and he had my first article framed for me. i don't know what to do with the way i feel. i don't know if i have any real basis for my feelings, or if i'm just crazy. right now i'm so confused i'm having a hard time figuring out my own thoughts. any help with this would be so much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 25, 2003 Share Posted August 25, 2003 With all the loss that you have experienced, your feelings are perfectly normal. I think, however, that the abandonment of your biological father at an early age probably had the most profound affect on you. This will all work out in time but I think you will require some bit of counselling by a professional psychologist in order to set you in the right direction. You can't go through life avoiding close relationships with people because you fear they will leave you. At the same time, you have to recognize that nothing in life is permanent. It's just a fact. You are now older and much better prepared to deal with this reality but a therapist can help you a great deal with working through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunnie23 Posted August 25, 2003 Author Share Posted August 25, 2003 i've made an appointment to get a referral, but in the city where i live it can take some time. right now i guess i'm looking for general reassurance that what i'm feeling isn't weird or unnecessary. i feel like my heart is in a vice and it's just being squeezed... i feel like i mean nothing to anyone and that nothing will work out. i hate this! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 25, 2003 Share Posted August 25, 2003 I can tell you that in the face of all your adversity, your feelings are quite legitimate. Give yourself time to feel what you feel and gradually recover. However, remember, we bring into our lives those things which we think about the most. If you constantly fear that people are going to exit your life, they will. The mind is a powerful thing. You must change your thinking as soon as you are able. Meanwhile, I thought I would provide this link to a site on Fear of Abandonment so you might get additional insights...but promise me you will start thinking positive thoughts and believing that people will be there for you. OK, here's the link: http://teens_scene.tripod.com/emotionalfeelings/id1.html Take your time and read as much of the page, both columns, as you possibly can. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunnie23 Posted August 25, 2003 Author Share Posted August 25, 2003 thanks tony, i do have a great support system and i'm thinking of them now. i get so defeated by all this. i understand that i'm on a one way track to being a self fulfilled prophecy and i hate it. Link to post Share on other sites
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