My wifes girl friend is after me

[edward90]

Hello out there. I am a Married 30 year old. My wife and Kid are in a different state for school and i was told to take care of the house and i will be back in a year. Ever since our little one came sex has gone from 2 to 3 times a week to once every 4 months if that and she told me she got what she wanted. And treats less than she treats the family dog which she thinks of more than me. any way.

 

My wife's friend is having problems with her husband and she calls me alot and i call her back they have a little son i love to play with i know i am weird but i miss my little one. Anyways she has been talking to me more and more about her problems and she has been getting more flurting and well i dont know what to think i know DR Frued had some of his clints kiss him and hug him but it was becuase a mis direction of attention. I am an Honarable man i let me wife know when she calls me and everything. but she doesnt know her friends body signs and they have changed to more how should i say sexy.

 

And what complicats this problem is her friend and myself are planning to build a company in the town we live.

 

I asked my wife about this and my wife said be her friend help her with her marrige if she cant take it for awhile have her spend the night or stay with you for a while so she doesnt take it out on her little one. Most kids like playing with me i am some what diffrent i like kids and older people. I tend to be the human Ear for people they are relaxed around me and tell me everything about there life. Women tend to really talk to me i must have a Gay Vib.

 

This is the kicker she is very sexual hungrey her husband quit having sex with her becuase he feels she will leave him if they have another kid becuase that is her goal to have two kids with the same father.

 

The other thing is its been 2 years for me since i have had back to normal levels of sex and well since my wife left for a year it is well hard up should i say for me.

 

so there is a heavy tension for me as well and my wife could care less about sex anymore since she got what she wanted but she still loves me and i love her but that basic need has not been met for me in a long time.

 

If anyone would like to comment i would like hear it. I will not be acting on animal instinct by the way. my family happynessrating is 2/3 happy love kid but 1/3 no sex unhappy.

 

thank you

[Konfuzion]

You need to put some major distance between yourself and your wives friend before one of you crosses that oh so delicate line. Then I suggest that you have a serious talk about how the lack of sex in your marriage makes you feel and suggest seeing a counselor because part of a healthy relationship is a happy sex life, and with the way things are going your going to end up in someone elses bed.

[edward90]

You need to put some major distance between yourself and your wives friend before one of you crosses that oh so delicate line. Then I suggest that you have a serious talk about how the lack of sex in your marriage makes you feel and suggest seeing a counselor because part of a healthy relationship is a happy sex life, and with the way things are going your going to end up in someone elses bed.

I agree i know i would not Cross that line i have furm Spirtaul roots in my childhood you know sin but i think she would cross it she has been hurt before from her husband 1 she is on her 2nd marrige her first marriege ended in bad feelings she never cheated on him he was sleeping around and refused to give up on her marriege but finally he divorced her and then had boy friends after the fact and well she found this husband in a bar. Well i think she thought he could be changed to what she wanted in a man. And i know she sees me and i am a Free Mason and going to become a Knight soon. And i think there is that Knights in white Saten Trashy Roman Novels kind of entering the picture as my wife is into that stuff. The Idea is always better then the real thing you know.

 

The Sex Life thing has been addressed and she doesnt think there is a Problem and i am just to horny and her parents are happy with having sex once a year if that.

 

My Parents where like Rabbits every night when i was a kid. So i dont know i guess its in my genes i have a Sexual Appitite. I was the one to wait until i was married guy my wife didnt wait.

[Lizzie60]

Wow.. I gave up .. this is too hard to read..

[Geishawhelk]

I'm afraid I agree..... I also found it difficult to negotiate it....

[Konfuzion]

The Sex Life thing has been addressed and she doesnt think there is a Problem and i am just to horny and her parents are happy with having sex once a year if that.

 

It needs to be readdressed as sex once a year or monthly is not healthy. She needs to figure out what her underlying problem is again I recommend counseling.

[edward90]

Well it is kind of hard to Address it when she is gone for a year. My wife before i met her was BI. I feel maybe she might have a feeling of being with a Woman again but i dont know. Most guys are like alright but when you have a family things are way different.

[Konfuzion]

Well it is kind of hard to Address it when she is gone for a year. My wife before i met her was BI. I feel maybe she might have a feeling of being with a Woman again but i dont know. Most guys are like alright but when you have a family things are way different.

 

Your wife still is BI, stop making excuses for her. Tell her that sex once every 4 months is not ok with you and have her go get some counseling on her own. And her being BI means nothing she choose to be with you and you only when you got married.

[edward90]

Well she doesn't want to get Counseling she feels there isn't a problem as long as she has a kid and a husband that pays the bills that's her idea of a happy family and sex is only to reproduce. I don't know if that is really what she thinks but that's the hint i get from her. My wife is a big Tom boy as well. But in any case i am alone by myself and my wife is encouraging for me to help out her friend.

[GPFan]

Hi edward,

 

Rather than complicating your life with an affair, I suggest you throw down the gauntlet and demand from your wife serious attention to this matter. Let her know her marriage is in jeopardy.

 

Your female friend should do the same. She needs to sit down with her husband and make a serious attempt to work things out. She should not be confiding her problems to you as there is no possibility for resolution -- divorce or make the marriage successful.

 

Put your business plans on hold for now as you will have problems from the beginning with focusing on the true purpose of forming a business association. Perhaps you can do it on your own and that will provide you with a distraction from your marital woes and loneliness.

 

I hope all works out well for you.

[Konfuzion]

Well she doesn't want to get Counseling she feels there isn't a problem as long as she has a kid and a husband that pays the bills that's her idea of a happy family and sex is only to reproduce. I don't know if that is really what she thinks but that's the hint i get from her. My wife is a big Tom boy as well. But in any case i am alone by myself and my wife is encouraging for me to help out her friend.

 

Well if she wont consider counseling then its time for you to tell her your done, and that you can not and will not continue in a relationship where you are sexually unhappy. Which in turn will probably have her take a serious look at things.

[edward90]

Thank You i have been dealing with this problem with my wife since 2006 ever since my little Isabelle came alone first it was i just had a baby i dont even want to think of sex to i am happy and that is all that matters. to my parents dont have sex that much since they had her sister 26 years ago. I am a push over if you didnt get that from the way i handle things. I know since i have been married its as long as my wife is happy i will be happy. I stand up for myself once in a great while and she blows up at me so the best way to love each other is to not talk about problems. like i said in other posts i am the human ear people tell me there problems but when i go to tell them mine i dont want to hear it as my wife says. o well.

 

My wifes friend on the other hand is i would say my Twin in the Marrige problems i guess that is how my wife and her became friends. She is alot like me. We both hold in how we feel and finaly break and then get yelled at for having feelings that who we are attracted to. But we both my wifes friend loves her husband and i love my wife.

 

I know everyone says avoid her but is that the right thing to do abandon her is that the right thing or show instead be there for her and avoid personal contact just visiting with her to help her? something to think of let me know what you all think on that one.

 

My wifes friend has been very nice to our family in the past and there are deep friendships there as well. I have tried to get my wife to call her many times to remind her i am not the only one to talk to and get our Family to go on a trip together or have a party something more on a group activity.

 

Thanks All let me know what you would do with out avoiding the problem or person.

[noreply110]

This is the kicker she is very sexual hungrey her husband quit having sex with her becuase he feels she will leave him if they have another kid becuase that is her goal to have two kids with the same father.

 

 

Huh. Of all that you wrote, that line stuck with me even after I went to look at different threads. That right there would make me stay far away from this girl. That is an odd goal, I mean to have actually voiced it as a goal, not an expectation. But her husbands reaction to it is much stranger. So he believes that the moment she gets preg. she will leave him? He is being used for his genetics? Like she will be less trashy to only have one Baby daddy??

 

I think she is lying to you. That excuse rings false to me. This girl is toxic to your relationship with your wife. Tell your wife that her friend is trying to sleep with you. Tell the other husband. It will end, if that IS what you actually want to happen.

[Konfuzion]

Based on what your saying you wont listen anyway because your afraid of the conflict and would rather be unhappy in a relationship than happy without the relationship. But with that said you need to tell this other lady to go to hell you can not help her, you need to help your family and yourself first. I dont care how hard you try to avoid it as long as this lady is in your life that sexual line will be crossed, and you need to nip it in the butt right now. Then you need to tackle your wife, tell her your unhappy and that a part of a relationship is sex and without sex you are in fact just friends and that you want her to get counseling to get underneath this problem and that you would be happy to go with her if she wishes. If not then its time to tell her that you want a separation and or divorce and then she might just see that your serious. Of cource if you are not willing to go through with the separation or divorce then just keep being her doormat and don't even suggest that.

[vintagecat]

I have to agree with no-reply. That jumped out at me too and I said to myself, "Who are these people?"

 

Beware. Your scenario sounds like a trap. If you have to deal with your sexual needs outside of your marriage, I'd suggest that this "friend" should be the last woman on the planet to consider, any other rationalizations you make notwithstanding.

[Angel1111]

It's simple - your wife is an idiot. Correction.....a delusional, arrogant idiot to think she can stop having sex with her husband and take off for a year and all will be well. I don't think you should cheat on her, especially with her friend, but I do think you either need to put your foot down with her or leave her. As far as I'm concerned, she's just begging for you to cheat on her. And then suggesting that her friend spend the night at your house. She must be joking. This is one stupid female.

[JamesM]

I have a sneaky suspicion that if this whole story is true as you say, then you are being put in a position to cheat.

 

This is a trap.

 

Think....your wife quit having sex with you and moved away with your child. Suddenly, HER friend begins having marital problems and ironically seeks YOU out for advice and help. Ironically, she just happens to begin hinting very strongly )or to you it seems that way) that she wants sex?

 

And your wife says to keep listening and be a friend to her friend?

 

That way if you do cheat, then your wife can divorce you with cause. And try getting custody of your child after that.

 

Stay away from the friend unless you want trouble.

[Angel1111]

I have a sneaky suspicion that if this whole story is true as you say, then you are being put in a position to cheat.

 

This is a trap.

 

Think....your wife quit having sex with you and moved away with your child. Suddenly, HER friend begins having marital problems and ironically seeks YOU out for advice and help. Ironically, she just happens to begin hinting very strongly )or to you it seems that way) that she wants sex?

 

And your wife says to keep listening and be a friend to her friend?

 

That way if you do cheat, then your wife can divorce you with cause. And try getting custody of your child after that.

 

Stay away from the friend unless you want trouble.

 

I think you're dead on. There's no woman in this world who would do what she's doing unless she's already involved with someone else. Sounds like a set-up to me, too.

 

If I were the OP, I'd pay a little surprise visit to the wifey or hire a private detective. But do not tell the girlfriend any of this - she may be in on it.

[edward90]

Hello any thank you for all your posts i really think there are so very good points. Let me tell you. The Sex or lack of has been a problem before my wifes friend came along. In fact i was invited today to there house with her Husband there. He was very pleasent to me and we talked about stuff guy stuff and i was kind of avoiding his wife a little on purpose. Right before i left thinking maybe things are going good at there home he started saying if i was in your shoes i would love every min away from responsiblity. I told him i am lonly tho and he said i would welcome it. And i noticed bruses on there Little kid and there kid's personality is very shy and scared now i can see there is a problem. it felt like the whole visit was a production on his part i even invited him to my house with out his Wife. But he said well i dont know what i would do with his kid. So he is nice as an act and it is an act. And his wife was very shy in his company and almost shacking. I can see when something is wrong. After that visit i have no interest in his wife i am more worried about there kid. I dont think it is the Wife but the Husband. I kinda know now that she is in trouble and is scared i dont think she is looking for an affair she is looking for a safe place to be in her life right now.

 

I know i am a normal guy with a love for family and i wouldnt hurt a fly and i wonder is she looking for a friend that could stand up to her husband until she could move on maybe i dont know maybe you guys online could tell me what you think?

 

Thank You All with this post keep Posting

[Angel1111]

I think your friend will do anything to feel relief and she's not thinking beyond that. But it doesn't matter, you don't need to have an affair with her. What she needs to do is get away from a man who abuses her child. If you see bruises, then you need to ask her about it. If she tells you that her husband abuses her son, then you need to report it. You can be her friend but you don't want to take the relationship beyond that. If this man is abusive, I can't tell you the amount of crap you'll stir up by having an affair with this woman. Men like this are unbelievably jealous and they are prone to even kill. So, don't do anything to give him reason to be more abusive.

 

I think what you really need to do is focus on the lousy state of your own marriage. Your wife has no respect for you and as long as you tolerate the way she treats you, the less respect she'll have. I suspect that she has met someone new - either a man or woman - and she's just waiting for you to leave. This is not a person who values her marriage. That's what you need to be thinking about and working out.

[edward90]

Thank you for the post. I know if i report this case to the police i will not be friends with there family and problee make it harder for myself in the area.

 

As far as my wife goes i dont know if she has found some one i get the bill for the cell phone and just normal calls from her sister and brother. and i am in charge of the bank account and normal money usage. she is in a Nursing program that is very intense she has been on the list for a very long time.

 

i dont know about the sex thing with my wife i have been told by other family members on her side that. That is what happens with the women in there family after the kid comes be lucky to get any in a year and it stays that way until they start to think of having another kid and sex returns until they become preg. they your left high and dry and your suppose to be happy with that. there tends to be a lot of the women in there family not married. I was raised diffrent where you wait until your married like i did. And after Sex is a very good thing and to do it as much as you like and can as well as desire but maybe i am to horny.

 

On the other note I guess i am just going to step back and if my wifes friend calls i will just listen and if she tells me she doesnt feel safe i will get some kind of social service involved and if she needs a place she can stay at my house but i will be staying some where else maybe at my grand fathers farm until it is over. I hope they work things out. at this point if he refuses treatment i think there heading down a bad road.

 

Remember i am a guy that will stick it out with my wife until she dicides its over or tells me its over. I am faithful. Thats why God made a Cold shower LOL.

 

When i was over there today i did notice He gained alot of weight and his eye lids are not covering part of his pupil i am thinking a Gland problem is developing in him could explain alot. Depression, Peranioa, Anger, Weight Gain.

 

keep posting.

[Konfuzion]

i dont know about the sex thing with my wife i have been told by other family members on her side that. That is what happens with the women in there family after the kid comes be lucky to get any in a year and it stays that way until they start to think of having another kid and sex returns until they become preg. they your left high and dry and your suppose to be happy with that. there tends to be a lot of the women in there family not married. I was raised diffrent where you wait until your married like i did. And after Sex is a very good thing and to do it as much as you like and can as well as desire but maybe i am to horny.

 

Who cares what is normal in their family that is not normal or healthy when you are married to someone, stand up for yourself!

 

Remember i am a guy that will stick it out with my wife until she dicides its over or tells me its over. I am faithful. Thats why God made a Cold shower LOL.

 

No you sir are a doormat.

 

As far as the other woman/child is concerned you need to do the right thing and contact social services right away, who cares if it affects your relationship with the family (it should not though as they do not disclose who reported what). You don't wait to talk to the wife and see how she feels, because since she hasn't contacted them herself you already know how she feels "SCARED" and she will probably lie to you anyway. Man up!