Lizzie60 Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 how old are you? is this your first gf? Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 i write and write but the pains does not budge not an dinch just tine and tear not crying anymore am exhausetd but am afraid to close eyes. nightmare wil come AM SOO ANGRY. so alone and hurt. Meaplus. i know it subsides. thoery is so, but THIS is MY achillis heel. it causes my death I been here before and it took lots of years and many people to help me through this. then last year happened.( around my b-day) This time it was our anniversary. she has major commitment problems. Last year hurt me. I gone on. put myslef in extra vulnerable positions. be a lauiging stoke for my family and friends last week when i had my alltime low of this affaire, i smsed my dad. haven;t spoken to him in months. we don;t have a good relationship but i was lost. he only said. to bad,take care and life goes on. hung up. What am i to do? IT is seriously killimng me. no joke an dnot a metafore. the emotions are eating me up. I am addicted to my own poison. You made it through some tough spots before you can do it again. Really just calm down. How about a happy thought? What makes you laugh? AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author radhi Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 no not my first. longest. second to most painfull. and my age. don't think it matters but.. 36 Link to post Share on other sites
Author radhi Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 angel, yes this is unhealthy. but she meant more to me in dark times then my own family. oh my god, i;m defrinding her?!!! love to me is giving. just ask to be loved, respected. please, pain go away. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 I'm not sure why it's taking you so long to post. It should be pretty much instantaneous unless you have dial up or something. That is really horrible about your dad's reaction. No wonder you're so lost. It doesn't seem you've had any real affection from your family. Unfortunately, it takes awhile for the hurt to go away - a few days isn't going to do it, as I think you know. But it will go away. Of that I can assure you. And there will come a time when you will never again think of this woman as you do now. You must learn to love yourself, Radhi. I know that sounds like a cliche but it's true. You cannot ever let someone treat you like this again. Develop a zero-tolerance for anyone cheating on you and when you do that, you'll see that you'll stop attracting people like this in your life. Love is grand, honey, but you need to have a place inside of you that is untouchable, that cannot be breached or destroyed -- by anyone. Ever. You have it in you. You have strength and you have self-love. Find it and hang on to it. This girl thinks you don't have it. She thinks you're weak. She thinks she can do as she pleases and that you'll always take her back because you don't care enough about yourself. Surprise her, take her down a few notches, and let her know that she has truly crossed a line. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 no not my first. longest. second to most painfull. and my age. don't think it matters but.. 36 WOW.. at 36 you need to strenghten up my dear.. I thought you were like 16-18.. usually those heartbreaks are the most painful.. Only time will heal your pain.. there is no miracle.... do some exercise, it's just as good as antidepressants.. Get some support from family and friends.. try not to stay alone and thinking about her.. that's not healthy and it won't help you.. sorry for your pain.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author radhi Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 laugh? hmm, I have a great sens of humor but now. that has all gone. maybve i need to explain soemthing els so you understanbd my loyalty. I know this woman for 7 years. we met when i was in bad emotional shape. so was she. we had nothing but eachother. in 2004 she ended the relationship but we were still very close. Then I met this girl. ( call her M) we continued with our lives. but my ex and I never could be to far apart. the bound was VERY strong, M didn't like this. But my ex and I gave our word to eachtother to help as we;ve been togeher at dark times. M got pregnant and freaked out. she wanted an abortion. i couldn't stop the lady frm doing what she wanted with her body and our child. she terminated the pregnancy. i couldn't talk about this. M wouldn't let me. Eventuealyti had to confide and told my ex. athough w still loved eachother deeply. we just supported eachother. M ended it with me. baby had some to do with it. my ex (our bound) had more to do with it. BUT.. I didn't cheat on her! My ex supported my through another hard time, my mourning.I had to move away as i coul;dn' handle the stress and memories. My ex stayed behind there. never saw M again. My ex and I rekindled our love before i left. Recently my sister lost het child. it brought lots of stuff up again. my g-friend is not here. she is in damn africa and doesn;t know. then she cheats on me. these are the things that help my suffering. is it a bit clearer? Link to post Share on other sites
Author radhi Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 lizzie, I thought you would think that. Age is not the thing here. i can suffer as much as the next 18 as I give it all i got. I mean it when i say this is my achillis heel. Family and friends is the problem. not much contact with family and friends lead own life. lead quite solitary life. sorry I am not ' tougher' s expected with age. make up for that probably in other matters. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 It appears that you at least emotionally cheated on M. Not that that makes you rotten or anything but I think you did drive her away. That's very sad about the child and I'm sorry it happened. You and your gf may have a strong bond but it sounds more like a dysfunctional bond than a healthy one. Plus, if she really meant the things she said, she wouldn't have cheated on you twice. Sorry, I just think she's made of very little moral fiber. Link to post Share on other sites
Author radhi Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 i will try to go to sleep. thank you for listening. am so scared but my concebtration is gone. so many eerrors typo. forgive ,e i feel so stupid. broke in her e-mail and read a loveletter to her new man. is messed up. he's not treating her as she wanted. instead of being mean and enjoying. I feel sad as I love her and understand her. this is not right to do. reading mail and of course.. treating people this way. the lord asks to forgive. but it is I who carry the burden and pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 i will try to go to sleep. thank you for listening. am so scared but my concebtration is gone. so many eerrors typo. forgive ,e i feel so stupid. broke in her e-mail and read a loveletter to her new man. is messed up. he's not treating her as she wanted. instead of being mean and enjoying. I feel sad as I love her and understand her. this is not right to do. reading mail and of course.. treating people this way. the lord asks to forgive. but it is I who carry the burden and pain. Wow.. reading her emails sure won't help you heal.. come on.. stop being a 'victim' and stand up.. geezzz you're not helping your case.. and by doing that you are acting like a 16 yr old.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author radhi Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 lizzie, you are absolutly right ( sory had comp problems) howeverm please realize that I am a bit lost here. it is the distrust and loss of controle talking. Please understand that I may be a 16 when it comes to matters iof heart. I can give great advice of how to hndle. all the adult words but when it finaly boils down to it... I am FEELING this as a 16 year old perhaps so, what s your advice for a 16 year old? and not telling/crying to mama isn't an option. Link to post Share on other sites
Author radhi Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 It appears that you at least emotionally cheated on M. Not that that makes you rotten or anything but I think you did drive her away. That's very sad about the child and I'm sorry it happened. You and your gf may have a strong bond but it sounds more like a dysfunctional bond than a healthy one. Plus, if she really meant the things she said, she wouldn't have cheated on you twice. Sorry, I just think she's made of very little moral fiber. you ARE right. completly disfunctional. cheating, connection. all mumbo jumbo. But to me as real as the next guy. But now i needt o work on that ik think. i would tell anyopne what you say, except unable to do self. wierd? loss of cintrol. affects me hard. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 cheer up dude. you'll find yourself another girl- hell you're a diver and a law student. you should have women crawling at you! Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 laugh? hmm, I have a great sens of humor but now. that has all gone. maybve i need to explain soemthing els so you understanbd my loyalty. I know this woman for 7 years. we met when i was in bad emotional shape. so was she. we had nothing but eachother. in 2004 she ended the relationship but we were still very close. Then I met this girl. ( call her M) we continued with our lives. but my ex and I never could be to far apart. the bound was VERY strong, M didn't like this. But my ex and I gave our word to eachtother to help as we;ve been togeher at dark times. M got pregnant and freaked out. she wanted an abortion. i couldn't stop the lady frm doing what she wanted with her body and our child. she terminated the pregnancy. i couldn't talk about this. M wouldn't let me. Eventuealyti had to confide and told my ex. athough w still loved eachother deeply. we just supported eachother. M ended it with me. baby had some to do with it. my ex (our bound) had more to do with it. BUT.. I didn't cheat on her! My ex supported my through another hard time, my mourning.I had to move away as i coul;dn' handle the stress and memories. My ex stayed behind there. never saw M again. My ex and I rekindled our love before i left. Recently my sister lost het child. it brought lots of stuff up again. my g-friend is not here. she is in damn africa and doesn;t know. then she cheats on me. these are the things that help my suffering. is it a bit clearer? not exactly...take some time off, bro. take a breather. you're 36, well you're older than me bro so its sad to see you like this. wish you luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author radhi Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 thank you. , sometimes age does not automaticly make you wiser. i feel his too intense. Link to post Share on other sites
jenmom22 Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Hey radhi, Just catching up on all your posts. I'm going through something similar. Been w/ my bf for almost 8 years and he broke up suddenly and is now with someone new. Pretty much cheating. I'm your age and I agree, it doesn't matter how old you are - the pain is the same. Maybe worse, we expect adults to know better. Are you doing any better? Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 thank you. , sometimes age does not automaticly make you wiser. i feel his too intense. Agreed, but age definitely gives you experience - c'mon man we've all been through hard break ups. What do you do? Get ahold of yourself and put one foot in front of the other. From one adult to another, that's what I'd do. Experience in some senses does make you wiser. What does the Bible say about wisdom? Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 laugh? hmm, I have a great sens of humor but now. that has all gone. maybve i need to explain soemthing els so you understanbd my loyalty. I know this woman for 7 years. we met when i was in bad emotional shape. so was she. we had nothing but eachother. in 2004 she ended the relationship but we were still very close. Then I met this girl. ( call her M) we continued with our lives. but my ex and I never could be to far apart. the bound was VERY strong, M didn't like this. But my ex and I gave our word to eachtother to help as we;ve been togeher at dark times. M got pregnant and freaked out. she wanted an abortion. i couldn't stop the lady frm doing what she wanted with her body and our child. she terminated the pregnancy. i couldn't talk about this. M wouldn't let me. Eventuealyti had to confide and told my ex. athough w still loved eachother deeply. we just supported eachother. M ended it with me. baby had some to do with it. my ex (our bound) had more to do with it. BUT.. I didn't cheat on her! My ex supported my through another hard time, my mourning.I had to move away as i coul;dn' handle the stress and memories. My ex stayed behind there. never saw M again. My ex and I rekindled our love before i left. Recently my sister lost het child. it brought lots of stuff up again. my g-friend is not here. she is in damn africa and doesn;t know. then she cheats on me. these are the things that help my suffering. is it a bit clearer? I do understand your situation and I only mentioned laughter to try to get you to lighten up a bit since you are so down. Really..I do feel for you. Now,you certainly have alot on your plate and I think that Therapy could help you. Have you ever considered this? AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 being cheated on is the worst pain I ever faced, it SUCKS Link to post Share on other sites
me007 Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 sending hugs your way radhi. yeah..age doesn't mean anything when it comes to heartbreak. I think as we get older it actually hurts more because we are thinking about finding someone to spend the rest of our lives with...when we are 16-18 we might be thinking it, but those younger years we know we have our alot of years ahead of us. Love means more as we get older as we understand it more too. keep posting. too bad this site doesn't have any PM or I would ask if you have AIM or MSN. Link to post Share on other sites
Author radhi Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 I want to thank everyone who answered and listened. Had 1 hour of sleep. am exhausted! today was a long day. almost got in car crash and had to hide as there is a strike going on at university. If strikers find out where we have classes we'd be in trouble. we were hiding/taking classes in a church. I am going to try to sleep early today. Hope it doesn't hit me hrd at night again. is my weakest moments. thanx again and i will be back in morning. Link to post Share on other sites
Author radhi Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 I do understand your situation and I only mentioned laughter to try to get you to lighten up a bit since you are so down. Really..I do feel for you. Now,you certainly have alot on your plate and I think that Therapy could help you. Have you ever considered this? AP:) Yes, I did try therapy but it doesn't help me that much. often makes me worse. I will try it again i think. problem keeps comming up. thank you for listening. Link to post Share on other sites
Author radhi Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 is there anyone here again would love to talk! pleaseee!!!! need some talk! Link to post Share on other sites
Author radhi Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 the situation still haunts me is there anyone here? Link to post Share on other sites
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