NC Really Does work!! For healing

[selena_cat]

Hi Sysuphus and Jake C

thanks for sharing your insights and things sorry you guys are going thru this. but i can tell you this and i'll say it again,

You can sit here and wonder why your ex is contacting you till the cows come home and till you and your families turns blue

but if your exes are not asking to talk or meet with you seriously,

all their contact is fruitless, leading to no where, breadcrumbs

etc.tossing for the pigeons

us gals are not that complicted,no to that i have been the dumper but i know if i really like a guy or miss him-he WILL know it,unless he dumps me then he can forget it

read all these women posters on LS, dont they make it clear that they want their exes,i'm sure some of them are breaking NC or is about to. You both nees to be with women,not girls who value relationships

like i said iill ask to meet him for coffee or wouldnt let a week go by without contacting him,but if i have been a B%tch to him and yes i'll feel guilty but i will rectify the situation. Not everyone will do that

If your exes are that bold to break up with you believe me they can come right out and tell you why they are contacting you-

why should they be scared? since obviously they can probably tell you still want to be with them,am i not right?

It looks like youre obsessing (like I did over my ex)over immature ,young girls,not to say older folks dont act flaky

but do your selves a favor,

DO NOT RESPOND TO ANY ATTEMPTS from your exes

unless they show themselves sincere, or that you hear,

'hey i really like to talk to you;.."hey i miss you and i like to see you, and they leave the

dreaded friends they have to give Any sort of indication they are really interested, not tossing breadcrumbs at you,then you can listen to what they say

sincere people wont leave you hanging and wondering

Is thiat the kind of people you want in your lives?

i soo feel for you because i have been there

Once you decide to move on, with your life and not deal any longer with this foolishness you can get to where I am

relieved and not hurting over unworthy people

it was not easy but if your read my posts i never thought i'd get over this

its been months angry a bit resentful how he treated me

bu tits not intense as when he kept in contact with me only to string my a$$ along so now i can say that i only want him back when hell freezes over and I become First lady of the United States

let it be guys i believe in ya'll

[CaliGuy]

Look at it this way. Your ex took you for granted and tossed you aside like trash. Is that someone you want to sit around pining for? Why stop your life, why stop having fun, because someone doesn't want you?

 

BIG DEAL!!!!

 

So he/she isn't the one for you? SO WHAT?!

 

Someone else is. The longer you sit around, pining for someone who doesn't appreciate you, the longer it's going to take you to meet the RIGHT one.

 

Get out, have fun, enjoy life! You have a very limited amount of time on this earth. Don't WASTE it on someone who doesn't want to be with you.

 

Live.

Make yourself happy.

Have fun.

 

Who gives a rats a$$ what your ex is doing?

[Sysyphus28]

Yeah I know selena/caliguy. It is kind of pointless to obsess.

I Do not feel depenedent...........I have been having a GREAT time dating!

I do wonder why she called.

She is going back to NY today for a break from school, she will be banging her new man, and just thinking about it is helping me let go. She feels bad I'm sure....but those missed call "breadcrumbs" were not very fair to me.

She hasn't called me in a month, and i know she doesn't love me anymore.

 

I feel like I lost.

She is 21 and I'm 28...........and here I am pining for this "lost love". It's hard to imagine that I even would get involved with such a young girl......I got burned so stinkin' bad. I was so aprehensive about us moving down south, but I took the risk...now I got yolk on my face.

 

Nc is super hard, but for the first time in my life, I have been successfull in initiating it. I started it a month and have not "broken". It is not worth the re-rejection, and it is not worth what I have left of my integrity and confidence.

If she was the "right" person, she would be WOMAN enough to make this whole thing a better situation. People do need time, but reality is reality. Sometimes you need to face the facts. I could probably WIN her back if I wanted to with kind words and flowers, etc.

 

But what am I winning? A girl who totally hurt me? Ignored me? Lied to me? Thats not much of a prize.

I would always be a dishrag and feel resentment.

 

Any more words of encouragement about this phone call thing? It has been hard not to call!

[CaliGuy]

Any more words of encouragement about this phone call thing? It has been hard not to call!

 

Yes...a few.

 

1. She called you. You did not break down and call her first. You stuck to your guns and in the process, have started rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem.

2. She is 21, you are 28. While your age difference isn't that much, she is still immature in many ways and doesn't know what she wants in her life.

3. This experience did not kill you, it only made you STRONGER.

4. Every failed relationship, such as this one, is a LIFE LESSON. Learn from it, grow as a person. The next woman who comes around will benefit from what you have learned and you BOTH will be better because of it.

 

Look, sometimes life throws you a lemon (such as a bad relationship). You have two options. You can let it conquer you or YOU CAN OVERCOME.

 

It's a simple life choice. You either learn from your experiences or your experiences rule you. It's the same as your emotions. You are either in control over them or they are in control of you.

 

What's it gonna be, bro?

 

You know the story about Thomas Edison, right? He failed 1000 times in his quest to create the light bulb until he finally succeeded. What was his answer to those who say he failed?

 

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

[Jake C]

Yeah I know selena/caliguy. It is kind of pointless to obsess.

I Do not feel depenedent...........I have been having a GREAT time dating!

I do wonder why she called.

She is going back to NY today for a break from school, she will be banging her new man, and just thinking about it is helping me let go. She feels bad I'm sure....but those missed call "breadcrumbs" were not very fair to me.

She hasn't called me in a month, and i know she doesn't love me anymore.

 

I feel like I lost.

She is 21 and I'm 28...........and here I am pining for this "lost love". It's hard to imagine that I even would get involved with such a young girl......I got burned so stinkin' bad. I was so aprehensive about us moving down south, but I took the risk...now I got yolk on my face.

 

Nc is super hard, but for the first time in my life, I have been successfull in initiating it. I started it a month and have not "broken". It is not worth the re-rejection, and it is not worth what I have left of my integrity and confidence.

If she was the "right" person, she would be WOMAN enough to make this whole thing a better situation. People do need time, but reality is reality. Sometimes you need to face the facts. I could probably WIN her back if I wanted to with kind words and flowers, etc.

 

But what am I winning? A girl who totally hurt me? Ignored me? Lied to me? Thats not much of a prize.

I would always be a dishrag and feel resentment.

 

Any more words of encouragement about this phone call thing? It has been hard not to call!

 

I wouldn't look at it like you lost. I thought of it like that too. But it's like you said what would you actually be winning if you got her back? Another opportunity for her to sh*t on you? I'm starting to realize that my ex isn't the right one for me, never was, and it's getting better. I know it will for you too. I almost wish I had some of your anger and bitterness, it's a good tool for getting over someone. Other than our breakup I don't really feel wronged by my ex like you do. It would be easier if she had done something outrageous or had gone off on me, but we ended on decent terms. But in your situation I would think of her as dirt and tell yourself you're better off without her, you may not now, but I know you'll see it, if you haven't already. She really did you wrong, you don't deserve that! And like Caliguy said, given her age, she probably doesn't know what she wants. She's probably out just having fun and may not even realize what she's done to you or the severity of it. I don't know her so I'll try not to make assumptions, but it sounds to me like immaturity. Just keep going, it'll get easier and one day you'll look back at it and smile. Screw her, she deserves NOTHING from you! And that's the only thing you should give her.......nothing.

[ChocoFine]

Yes...a few.

 

1. She called you. You did not break down and call her first. You stuck to your guns and in the process, have started rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem.

2. She is 21, you are 28. While your age difference isn't that much, she is still immature in many ways and doesn't know what she wants in her life.

3. This experience did not kill you, it only made you STRONGER.

4. Every failed relationship, such as this one, is a LIFE LESSON. Learn from it, grow as a person. The next woman who comes around will benefit from what you have learned and you BOTH will be better because of it.

 

Look, sometimes life throws you a lemon (such as a bad relationship). You have two options. You can let it conquer you or YOU CAN OVERCOME.

 

It's a simple life choice. You either learn from your experiences or your experiences rule you. It's the same as your emotions. You are either in control over them or they are in control of you.

 

What's it gonna be, bro?

 

You know the story about Thomas Edison, right? He failed 1000 times in his quest to create the light bulb until he finally succeeded. What was his answer to those who say he failed?

 

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

 

 

WOW!! What a post! I like it.. so inspiring!

You know what, the last line there "Many of life's failure...etc" just inspired me that before my eye glimpsed I did made it as a background in my laptop..

Thanks dude

[Rafa]

Yes...a few.

Look, sometimes life throws you a lemon (such as a bad relationship). You have two options. You can let it conquer you or YOU CAN OVERCOME.

 

It's a simple life choice. You either learn from your experiences or your experiences rule you. It's the same as your emotions. You are either in control over them or they are in control of you.

 

What's it gonna be, bro?

 

You know the story about Thomas Edison, right? He failed 1000 times in his quest to create the light bulb until he finally succeeded. What was his answer to those who say he failed?

 

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

 

That's good advice Caliguy.

 

Also I love the original post selena_cat, thanks for sharing.

[Sysyphus28]

Thank you for caring enough to help me through this.

 

Sincerely

[Jake C]

 

Look, sometimes life throws you a lemon (such as a bad relationship). You have two options. You can let it conquer you or YOU CAN OVERCOME.

 

It's a simple life choice. You either learn from your experiences or your experiences rule you. It's the same as your emotions. You are either in control over them or they are in control of you.

 

 

 

I've heard that it is a simple life choice to make, as far as being in control of your emotions and your life in general. I know part of my struggle is because I don't necessarily have control over my thoughts and emotions. Sometimes I feel like I can't turn my brain off and just stop thinking or wondering. It's like I'm my own worst enemy. I was curious if you knew any techniques to applying this, "simple" choice, because I don't think it's as easy as just making a choice for me. I tell myself, "stop thinking about it, get over it" five minutes later it's back. Sure I stay busy, get out, date, have fun, and it helps, but I want better control over my life and my thoughts (more my thoughts than my life, I think I'm pretty solid life wise). I know it's a decision to just say, "I've had enough, this isn't good for me, I need to move on and forget about this girl, that this isn't going to hold me down", and I've made that decision. But are there any techniques or methods that might help illuminate and improve this "simple" choice? What types of activities or exercises help one to gain control of their thought processes?

[Sysyphus28]

recovery is different for everybody. One person could work out, one person could write, play sports, video games, who knows?

 

You have to find your own mantra, and your own excericise.

[selena_cat]

You are welcome Rafa,

I am telling you this Sysyphus,-sorry i keep messing up your name

If you work at healing You Will feel soo much better!

I can attest to it, it has taken me a long time to get here, i feel as though there is a weight lifted off my heart,no more longing,pining

It Feels So GOOD,its as if you had a bad flu for months,

and here you are finally feeling better

what should you do while you have this flu,do things to make you sicker?

not rest,or going out in the rain when you know you shouldnt?

You will meet other women, i knwo i sound a bit jaded when i say this,and i'm sorry,but you guys normally do,quicker than women

Its seems like a guy can snap his fingers,and behold he gets a new girl

Yes that is a jaded remark-due to the fact that he(the ex) did it and i know other guys who cry over their exes,and boom once they go out they found someone new quickly. I dont know if its the women to men ratio or what,but it seems that way

More importantly take your time to know that person,to find out about the woman's character and maturity before you fall so deeply, thats what i failed to do myself when meeting someone I care about deeply

 

Also make sure you go in with your eyes open,and as the Creator for a spirit of discernment ..so you can weed out the flakes

but for now, move on that path to healing, if you read my other post, my goodness, it was awful!, i never want to be in that place again.

That hopeless feeling that your in the bottom and the person who rejected you came out on top,moving on with their lives and forgetting you,it keeps you stuck, i know it did for me.

By forcing yourself to move on and not settle for wheatever crumbs they toss you,you will get unstuck and come out on top. For once like your Greek counterpart,drop the rock aside and climb on top of the world

 

Can I get a Witness?!

[CaliGuy]

I've heard that it is a simple life choice to make, as far as being in control of your emotions and your life in general. I know part of my struggle is because I don't necessarily have control over my thoughts and emotions. Sometimes I feel like I can't turn my brain off and just stop thinking or wondering. It's like I'm my own worst enemy. I was curious if you knew any techniques to applying this, "simple" choice, because I don't think it's as easy as just making a choice for me. I tell myself, "stop thinking about it, get over it" five minutes later it's back. Sure I stay busy, get out, date, have fun, and it helps, but I want better control over my life and my thoughts (more my thoughts than my life, I think I'm pretty solid life wise). I know it's a decision to just say, "I've had enough, this isn't good for me, I need to move on and forget about this girl, that this isn't going to hold me down", and I've made that decision. But are there any techniques or methods that might help illuminate and improve this "simple" choice? What types of activities or exercises help one to gain control of their thought processes?

 

I can't tell you what will work for you, but I can tell you what worked for me.

 

1. Acceptance. "Hey, it is what it is and I can't change the situation. So I have to make due with what God's given me." ya know what I am saying? She's long gone and there's nothing I can do about it.

2. Working out. I've become a gym rat and my body is thanking me for it (I look hot!)

3. Finding new hobbies. That's really kept my mind away from any exs.

4. World of Warcraft. If you’re bored and want to have some mind-numbing fun, this game will take your mind off everything. Unfortunately it's very addictive too so I've had to back off playing as much as I used to.

5. Counseling. Worked wonders for me.

6. Lots of reading. Books on confidence, self-esteem, human behavior, etc.

 

I think the biggest thing was #1. Letting go of things you don't have any control over. And the only thing in this life you have complete control over is yourself. That's it and nothing else.

[lofi_tokyo]

4. World of Warcraft. If you’re bored and want to have some mind-numbing fun, this game will take your mind off everything. Unfortunately it's very addictive too so I've had to back off playing as much as I used to.

 

Hahahha yes Caliguy YES! Its a WONDERFUL distraction (unless your ex played with you... like mine did)! That game is totally addictive, but its fun, easy (although a bit nerdy), and the people on it are generally great. Good suggestion.

[CaliGuy]

Hahahha yes Caliguy YES! Its a WONDERFUL distraction (unless your ex played with you... like mine did)! That game is totally addictive, but its fun, easy (although a bit nerdy), and the people on it are generally great. Good suggestion.

 

Fully geared Level 70 S3 Boomkin.

Full geared S4 Level 70 Warlock.

 

Yeah, I had a lot of time on my hands to burn

 

I'm an arena junkie... lol

[SnowWhite924]

I think the biggest thing was #1. Letting go of things you don't have any control over. And the only thing in this life you have complete control over is yourself. That's it and nothing else.

 

Excellent!!

[selena_cat]

how do you get in the game of warcraft Cali?

[CaliGuy]

how do you get in the game of warcraft Cali?

 

Buy the game, set up a monthly account, start killing monsters and other players

 

You can usually find it at Wally-world, Target, etc.

[Chinook]

Fully geared Level 70 S3 Boomkin.

Full geared S4 Level 70 Warlock.

 

Yeah, I had a lot of time on my hands to burn

 

I'm an arena junkie... lol

 

Completely agree with the distraction.

 

Fully geared T6 Rogue.

Currently levelling a fire mage.

Not an arena junkie.

 

And patch 3.0.2 sucks

[lofi_tokyo]

Completely agree with the distraction.

 

Fully geared T6 Rogue.

Currently levelling a fire mage.

Not an arena junkie.

 

And patch 3.0.2 sucks

 

I have a full T6 Shadow Priest

Havn't played any of the 3.0 content because I broke up with my ex about a month before it came out, and he was still playing last time I checked - too scared to "bump" into him online! gah!

[BCCA]

Fully geared Level 70 S3 Boomkin.

Full geared S4 Level 70 Warlock.

 

Yeah, I had a lot of time on my hands to burn

 

I'm an arena junkie... lol

 

70 S4 Warrior

59 Twink Warlock

59 Twink Paladin

 

It is quite the distraction. And it's one of those things you probably won't get to enjoy much once youre in a relationship. I've also met some friends on there that are cool people, and its just nice to have more people to BS with.

[Melrapuo]

Eesh, I sold WoW because it had become a seriously bad addiction. Actually, I was able to do it because I met my ex. : ) But yea, distractions do help.