messiah Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 hey guys just wanted to kno what yall think of this. I think I maybe falling for my co worker. We hang out outside of work and go to the gym together pretty much every morning. We get along real well and yea i think i am falling for her (but i easily fall for girls which is a bad habit) but anyway Im sure i dont really want to get involved with her because she casually sleeps with her last 2 ex bf. Imagine the drama that would occur if i was to get involved with her! she tells me she doesnt kno why she keeps seeing her ex. So shes a bit wack in the head. Im not sure if i should try to get more involved with her or just leave it? I definately do not want to start any dramas. But then again shes a real cool chick and i wouldnt mind getting to kno her more. But her casually seeing her ex boyfriends is really off putting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author messiah Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 so you are talking from experience then? Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 'Messiah' and 'Hell' talking to each other. there's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm darned if I can see it....! ) Messiah, you ask the question, but TBH you give yourself a pretty definitive answer.... .... I think I maybe falling for my co worker. .....We get along real well and yea i think i am falling for her (but i easily fall for girls which is a bad habit) ...Im sure i dont really want to get involved with her because she casually sleeps with her last 2 ex bf. ....she tells me she doesnt kno why she keeps seeing her ex. So shes a bit wack in the head. ....I definately do not want to start any dramas. .....But her casually seeing her ex boyfriends is really off putting. Walk away...... Link to post Share on other sites
CandyGirlXO Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I am sorry but I wouldn't get involved. She is still sleeping with TWO EXBF's?? I can kinda understand maybe one, and then you can help her move on and be with you, but 2?? That is just nuts IMO! Maybe if you are really interested and you can't shake it off, then talk to her about it, and figure out exactly why she is sleeping with 2 exes. If she is just doing it just because she has needs and not because she is still in love then who knows maybe you two can start a relationship. Maybe she is waiting for another option... But if she is still in love, I would leave it alone. Hope that helps. Let us know what you decide to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author messiah Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 Thanks candy girl that is some very sound advice! yea I will try to talk to her more about it. Ive asked her why she still sees them and she says she still has feelings for one of them and because she has needs! im not even gona begin to try comprehend what that means. Seeing your ex just to bone makes things worse does it not? I have never gone back to an ex and I have no regrets from it because I believe that its broken for a reason and you embed that reason into your head because that way there is no way youll want to go back. One of the guys is 31 years old! and shes only 22! what is it with chicks that like to be with guys their senior. So yea she says she has needs and still has some feelings for him but she cant be with him because she doesnt trust him and they fight quite a lot. so why continue to see him? i believe that is really unhealthy for the mind. I asked her why doesnt she try find someone new and she said "because i dont kno how" which is so rediculous... man chicks are nuts in the head. If i cant shake this feeling soon then i will definately do something about it. Because continuing to see your ex when you dont really get along is just wack! Link to post Share on other sites
BlueHarvest Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Co-Worker? Just walk away. Want proof...click my name and read my threads. Someone once said to me "Don't pick up your chicks and your checks at the same place.". Now if only I could follow my own advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 My guess: you will fall head over heels.. and she will still keep seeing her 'exes'... is this a good idea? you decide... Methink you know the answer.. Link to post Share on other sites
CandyGirlXO Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 She has needs means she needs sex. I've done that too. Thanks candy girl that is some very sound advice! yea I will try to talk to her more about it. Ive asked her why she still sees them and she says she still has feelings for one of them and because she has needs! im not even gona begin to try comprehend what that means. Seeing your ex just to bone makes things worse does it not? I have never gone back to an ex and I have no regrets from it because I believe that its broken for a reason and you embed that reason into your head because that way there is no way youll want to go back. One of the guys is 31 years old! and shes only 22! what is it with chicks that like to be with guys their senior. So yea she says she has needs and still has some feelings for him but she cant be with him because she doesnt trust him and they fight quite a lot. so why continue to see him? i believe that is really unhealthy for the mind. I asked her why doesnt she try find someone new and she said "because i dont kno how" which is so rediculous... man chicks are nuts in the head. If i cant shake this feeling soon then i will definately do something about it. Because continuing to see your ex when you dont really get along is just wack! Link to post Share on other sites
Author messiah Posted October 18, 2008 Author Share Posted October 18, 2008 HA HA HA! i kno what she means by that. I ment that i dont understand why people go back to there exs for it. that **** is wack! Link to post Share on other sites
CandyGirlXO Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 HA HA HA! i kno what she means by that. I ment that i dont understand why people go back to there exs for it. that **** is wack! For me it was because it's comfortable and habit. They know what you like and what you don't. You can't really walk up to a stranger and say, "hi I need to be pounded, can you do that to me?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author messiah Posted October 18, 2008 Author Share Posted October 18, 2008 yea it is easy to go back. But it just messes things up even further. Especially when you claim that its just about sex when clearly its not. Link to post Share on other sites
rod_in_gtown Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 Co-Worker? Just walk away. Want proof...click my name and read my threads. Someone once said to me "Don't pick up your chicks and your checks at the same place.". Now if only I could follow my own advice. Yeap! This is a very polite way of saying don't crap where you eat. Having romantic affairs in the work place is never a good idea. Unless you think she's the one and are planning on marrying her one day. then it might be ok. However, from your post, it doesn't sound like you and her want the same things. Link to post Share on other sites
CandyGirlXO Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 yea it is easy to go back. But it just messes things up even further. Especially when you claim that its just about sex when clearly its not. You never know I was able to do it just fine. Only when I'm no longer in love. Link to post Share on other sites
CandyGirlXO Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 Yeap! This is a very polite way of saying don't crap where you eat. Having romantic affairs in the work place is never a good idea. Unless you think she's the one and are planning on marrying her one day. then it might be ok. However, from your post, it doesn't sound like you and her want the same things. I agree 100%. I would definately date a co-worker if I thought he was the one. That's it. Link to post Share on other sites
CandyGirlXO Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 yea it is easy to go back. But it just messes things up even further. Especially when you claim that its just about sex when clearly its not. Also since she is sleeping with 2 EXES it could be just about the sex. Think about it this way....she can't be in love with 2 people. That's impossible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author messiah Posted October 18, 2008 Author Share Posted October 18, 2008 haha maybe im just lusting after her rather than liking her and wanting to be with her. I can never tell which one it is..... you kno when you get that feeling where youll do anything to bone her! haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 No, personally, I've never had that feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author messiah Posted October 22, 2008 Author Share Posted October 22, 2008 well to update my situation. We are starting to flirt a lot at work and at the gym. She allows me to touch her on the hips when i want her to move out of the way and the small of her back to guide her along. She also allows me to get close to her at work and the gym. I dont kno if this is flirting or what? I understand more why she still sees her other exes. Its because shes one of those people that doesnt like to be lonely and by herself most of the time. So she just needs closure most of the time. I figured if i am able to give her that and show her that then we might be able to start something. She seems to trust me enough to tell me her personal problems. She tells me that its hard to trust guys because guys she meets keeps lying to her. Anyway i feel that we are getting closer and hopefully ill be confident enough to ask her out soon. Id just like to take things slow and see what happens.... Any comments and opinions people? Link to post Share on other sites
lostinliife Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Dont bother. Sounds like she still has a thing for her ex and that would just make things too complicated. I've been there before and he ended up leaving me for his ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author messiah Posted December 14, 2008 Author Share Posted December 14, 2008 well its been like 2 months. I feel we are getting closer our flirting has been a lot more intense, and i think that she may have feelings for me. Last friday i finally told her that i was into her and i said "if was to ask you out what would you say?" she said "well you kno my situation (she still sees her exe's) and id have to say no" then i said "well you are only saying no because of your situation right?, so if i you were completely single you would go out with me?" she said "of course i would" So I decided to leave it at that and just see whatever happens. So the next night i was out clubbing with some friends and she was out too. she txted me asking me to meet her. I wasnt planning on meeting her, her txt was just out of the blue. Anyway, i went to meet her and she was so drunk moaning about he ex being a dick to her or something along those lines (i was quite toasted myself so i cant remember much). anyway, i tried to get her to come dance and hang with me and my friends for the rest of the night but she just wanted to go home and was quite adamant about it. however she had no money to get home and she was gona walk, me being the gentlemen didnt want her to walk by herself. But she wanted to go to her exes place. I told her that it wont be a good idea but there was no reasoning with her. She says shes not even attracted to him, and she doesnt kno why she still sees him, she just wanted to go home to a bed and somewhere she felt comfortable. So me being the douche bag actually walk her to her ex's house! i kno it was frickin stupid and i shouldnt have been the doormat but i really didnt want her to walk there by herself. cause its like a 40 min walk and it was in the early hours of sunday morning. When we got there we had a chat about us, I said "what if i told you that like you" she blushed and sort of looked away and said "i dunno...i dont want things to be awkward at work" then i said "if you didnt have these issues could you see us being together" she said "i dunno, maybe i could" then i said "man i feel like an idiot, you kno how i feel and i walked you to your ex's house" it was all my fault for allowing myself to do that. i just wanted to kick myself. anyway when i said that, the look on her face looked hurt and she said "yea im sorry im a douche" but by that time i already turned around and started walking back without saying goodbye or anything. i just couldnt handle what ive just done so i just had to leave. so the next day she txted me "u kno its so unfair that you tell me you like me when you kno im unavailable, and if i were to sort out my issues then i wouldnt want to jump straight into you anyway" i txted back, "well i dont want you to jump straight into me, if you were to sort out your issues then it means i can hang out more socially with you and i wana spend time to get to kno you because i like who you are, i dont just want your ass! I know that im not the only one who is feeling something between us i kno you do too because you have yet to tell me straight up that you want nothing from me but to be friends, so tell me now how you see me do you want us to just be friends or something more?" she didnt reply so i txted her "u kno what you dont have to answer me now im leaving on wednesday (im going on holiday for 3 weeks) and id like for you to seriously think about what you want in your life. it is clear that you are unhappy with the way things are at the mo because you are living in the past and you dont wana move on. so you can either keep going with it and be unhappy everyday or try to change your life and find something that will make you happy again. you kno how i feel about you and when i get back if you can tell me how you feel for me then things will be sorted between us." do you guys think i handled it well? i had to give her an ultimatium. I am sick of her saying "i dunno, maybe" you kno if she were to tell me that nothing will ever happen then that will be much easier to stomach. so i told her to think about what she really wants. Link to post Share on other sites
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