The missing spark..?

[Mylife]

I am not sure if its called the spark or what, but you know that feeling of your heart skipping a beat or that shiver up your spine when you think of your SO?

 

Is it ok if it is not always there? Like you know you get it sometimes, but sometimes you wonder why its not there.

 

I mean, I know I still love him, but if its not the spark that makes me feel it, can the fact that I care for him, want him happy and can see my life with him be a valid reason to say I still do?

 

One thing my dears, I don't want to hear things like how its doomed to fail because of that and all because I really love this guy and reading things like only makes it worse. I want to it work with him because I know I will be happy with him.

 

I wish I could live with him right now!!

[Island Girl]

Yes there are times when that spark isn't there - when I am angry with him, when I am stressed out at work, and sometimes just because there hasn't been an "awww" moment in a while. Yes I always always feel the love and the commitment to him. But we are LDR and have been for some time. We don't have the luxury of doing things like getting up for something to drink and asking if the other person wants something too. You know, the little every day things. We try to create that as much as possible but there is only so much that can be done LD especially when we only talk twice a week now. I just try to remind myself of who he is, everything he does for me emotionally, and what a caring and supportive person I am so lucky to have.

 

I think about funny things or romantic things he has done or said.

And then I feel tightness that feels as though it is going to crush my chest from missing him THE SPARK IS THERE.

[Nemo]

If your pilot light goes out, then prepare for a long, cold winter.

[LikeCharlotte]

I mean, I know I still love him, but if its not the spark that makes me feel it, can the fact that I care for him, want him happy and can see my life with him be a valid reason to say I still do?

Eventually the initial feelings and butterflies always give way to a more familial love. That does not mean that you will not still feel romantic feelings it just means that your bond is stronger. It is not only perfectly normal but proof that you have something great. Our biology backs this up because these are the physiological effects that chemicals released in our bodies produce as we become more attached to the object of affection. To simplify, you are doing it right, everything is fine and you will have those feelings again just less frequently and you should be feeling something far greater and long lasting. You can do little things to bring those feelings back if you miss them but as exciting as they are they are only there as an insurance to excite us enough to pair off and mate. Those sparks are not essential to long term love and the new feelings are what creates a lifetime (or long term) bond (ie. the one necessary to raise children). Hope this helps.

 

I need to edit this because all scene of anything romantic has been lost. I apologize for reducing love to science. Its an amazing thing and a bit of a miracle even reduced to its nuts and bolts IMHO.