Logan8672 Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Ok I need some advice...I've been dating this guy that lives in another state for a while now and he is wanting me to move up there to live with him and his 3 kids! I really want to do this bc I love him, his kids and I want to start over parts of my life and I think this is the perfect opportunity! The problem is that my family hates him...or has never really given him a chance! He does have some red flags that I even noticed at the beginning of our relationship but after getting to know him as a person I cant help but look past them! He is 14 years older than me, with three kids, and lives in another state...thats all my family sees! Ive never been this happy in my life and I feel like my family is ruining it for me! I have already applied and have been accepted to a great college up there so that I can transfer and finish my degree! So Im confused on whether I should move up there or stay here just bc my family doesnt like the idea! Link to post Share on other sites
MrMe Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Not to be prying, but can I ask how old you are? (approximately) Link to post Share on other sites
konfuzd Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 How long is "a while?" What are the red flags that "you can't help" but looking past? Are you truly considering moving because you see a future with this guy, or do you see it simply as an escape from something else in your life? Have you asked your family specifically why they don't like him? They are not looking at this guy with blinders on, so really listen to what they have to say before you rush into anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logan8672 Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 I'm 22! We have been dating 6 months! The red flags are the things I pointed out: him being 14 years older than me, him having 3 kids and him living in another state! My family which is made of my sister, mom and brother in law are projecting towards him with anger bc of things with my father did years ago! Bc they are scared that I will put myself in the same situation that my mother did! My boyfriend is nothing like my father by any means but they havent taken the opportunity to see that! I definately see a future with this guy or else I wouldnt have even considered moving up there! He and I have talked about getting engaged and then getting married but we agreed to wait until I got finished with school! Link to post Share on other sites
konfuzd Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 6 months - especially in an LDR is really not a long time to get to truly know someone and make a life altering decision. How much time have you actually spent with this guy and his children? Do you know the baby momma and how much drama there is between the two of them? Are you planning on moving into his house, or get your own place? How do you think his children would react to having you there all the time? Link to post Share on other sites
woodsfield Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 i don't think age makes a difference but you should at least get the degree. try concentrating more on that and let the rest fall in place. i'd be concerned if i was in your fam and did not know this guy... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Logan8672 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 He and I have made an effort to see each other multiple times every month! With my work schedule I get off multiple days in a row off so whenever I have that I always go see him! His kids are usually there at some point while I'm there! There mom doesnt live that far away so he is a big part of there life but they dont actually live with him everyday! I have met there mother I think shes great, they have been divorced for 4 year so they just stay friends for the kids which I think is great! The kids love me! He had a conversation with each of them and asked what they thought of me and what they would think if I was there all the time and they loved the idea! They are old enough to know exactly what's going on and to make that decision for themselves and I love the fact that he went to them first! I had originally planned on moving up there with a girl I work with bc she is from the same state but I dont think that is a good idea bc she cant financial support herself...she came to me for money! So the plan would be for me to move in with him! I have never been this happy in my life and coming from a depressed person I have the urge to just run with it bc I love this feeling and him coming into my life has changed it for the better! I'm the girl that doesnt take many chances so I guess that's why I want to just do it bc I dont want to wonder what if! Link to post Share on other sites
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