Amount of Communication getting Weak

[onetwothree]

How do you broach the subject when you think you're doing all the initiating and that communication is getting weak? How long do you wait?

 

Things started fine. We had been dating for over a year before I went abroad for a semester. We never talked about expectations for commun. but had no problem emailing every other day or so. We used skype a couple times. Then, her comm. dropped suddenly. Once a week she sends an email, and last time it was only because I sent her an email, and at the end I joked about wondering if she was still alive.

 

I guess I don't want to come across as insecure as she is really busy with school this month. Is this just one of those things you have to live with in a LDR, or is it more? Im worried that saying something, especially after that joke do more harm than good. Then again if the problem is communication, i should probably fix it by communicating, eh?

[addictingpancake]

my bf and i are having a similar problem. sometimes i feel like i'm the only one who wants to talk. but my bf has no reason not to talk, other than he's busy with his game -.- i end up getting really depressed and then i end up freaking out on him cause i want to talk more and i feel ignored. and i realize i probably should just tell him sooner, when i start feeling like this, than waiting until i can't take it anymore.

so in my opinion, it would be best if you just come right out and tell her how you feel. obviously i'm not a good example, but i'm working on doing this myself. i think that the best thing to do is to just come out and say it. tell her that you miss her, and want to talk more.

to answer your other question, yes, there are times where communication decreases greatly, but if you really are in love, you'll make it through. i've been in my LDR for 10 months.. i've learned that you just have to trust in eachother, and that everything will be ok.

[SarahT111]

Wow thanx for posting this!

I think the above advice is great! Im exactally the same and my bf is reeeeeeeeeeally bad at communicating!

I get really depressed aswell and totally freak out at him when I cant take it anymore!

Its good to no now that im not completely insane!!

I would suggest the same and that you talk to her before you freak and she thinks your a crazy psyco!!

Good luck!

[Island Girl]

to answer your other question, yes, there are times where communication decreases greatly,

 

There may be times when communication decreases but usually due to external circumstances and it SHOULD be of concern to BOTH of you when it does.

 

There needs to be communication on both sides or it absolutely won't work. You can't do the work to keep it going all by yourself it is impossible. A person who is unresponsive and not communicating is not fully invested in the relationship anymore and priorities have obviously shifted. This is something you do need to address with her. And she should show an immediate improvement - at least if you are still an important part of her life.

 

I am sorry to put it this way, but if you do not put your expectations out there of how you need to be treated than do not be surprised if you do not get what you are looking for.

 

You should not be an afterthought. And how much time does it take to make a quick call - or send an e-mail? Do not make excuses for getting so little. This is supposed to be the closest person to you in this world right? Don't you treat people who are important in your life with care? Why should you accept less?