Loss 4 words Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Recently, I (well at least Feel) was cheated on by my g'f of a couple months.... I was out of town for a few weeks and she well...."did things" to herself with a close friend of hers...that's not the part that bothers me...what bothers me is that her friends' b'f watched them do the act........ She and I had talked about it and i was upfront when i told her that it would make me uncomfortable if he watched.....but what REALLY angers me is that after it happened she and I were talking on the phone and she sayed nothing happened when i asked her...i can usually read people well enough to know when something is up...she finally told me the next day....and likewise i was pissed.... She's been trying to keep me....and I really do want to stay but i'm truely not sure if i could ever forgive her...not so much for the guy watching, but for the lying to me in the first place....plus the fact that "what else happened and she's not tellign me factor".... I talked to my older brother and he made it abundantly clear that this was a clear cut sign and to walk away now, but like always, i have troubles doing so.... Does anyone see any good that can come of this relationship or is the entire future ruined from here on out ?? Is forgiveness powerful enough to overcome this ? Personally, I can see she and I growing old together yet this incedent will always remain....is out LOVE great enough to overcome? Link to post Share on other sites
Davey McG Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Listen to your brother on this one. Your love isn't great enough to overcome. If it was, then this would never have happened, which makes it a bit of a catch 22 situation. Listen to your brother and repeat after me: "Bros before hoes". Maybe a bit sexist, but appropriate in this case. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 You have to decide for yourself whether your love for her is stronger than your reswentment. if it is, then you have to work on the forgiveness. Not for herself, but for your own peace of mind. Forgiveness doesn't let them off the hook, it lets you off the hook. Of perpetual re-hashing, bringing it up in arguments, accusations, mistrust... Forgive and forget is a stupid and useless thing to say. One can be done. the other is virtually impossible. If you decide to forgive, then you have to lay your anger, resentment and mistrust aside. You can't keep hurling it in her face, bringing it up and using it as a weapon. BUT _ She too, has to prove her sincerity, remorse and honesty. She has to assure you nothing like this will ever happen again, and she has to be up-front with you at all times. You can't keep flogging this one for ever, but you have to work together to re-establish communication, trust and respect. 3 essentials in a relationship, which takes Effort. The question now remains: How much effort do you want to put into this? What's the 'dedication' score? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Listen to your brother. You have a girlfriend that: 1. Cheats on you while you were gone 2. Lies to you about this at first. 3. Has sex with another woman in front of the girls boyfriend. This is all she has admitted to at this point. I am sorry but I would guess that there was probably a pretty good chance that the boyfriend also got involved. I am sure she is probably not telling you the whole truth and that there is more that she is holding back. Why would you wish to remain with a girlfriend who lies and cheats on you? She is playing you for a fool. Listen to your brother. Link to post Share on other sites
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