The Porn Argument: Are we discussing the same thing?

[Jersey Shortie]

We all have our own morals, they differ from person to person. I am a semi-vegetarian, I consume meat but not often. Everyday millions of animals are killed for human consumption while living in horrible conditions.

 

I really don't think I could be considered more selfish then anyone else, I have my own flaws. Sex is one of the strongest drives humans have, I don't really think I am too bad because I am too mentally weak to fight it. Porn is the least "bad" out of all the options.

 

Okay, I am sorry but there is no such thing as a semi-vegetarian. You know what being a vegetarian means right? I also don't eat meat often but I wouldn't be conceited enough to pretend I'm a vegetarain on the days I don't eat meat. Seriously it's likes like you are saying everyday millions of animals are killed for human conscumptions while living in horrible conditions and it's okay if *I* eat meat on Tuesdays beacause when I eat them, they are somehow treated better and I don't do it that much anyway. How can you seirously think that way or be that arrogant.

 

And yes,everyone has flaws. I sure have my own. It's not even that you are mentally weak. I don't believe you are. I believe you are just in it for what you want, when you want it and don't truly care about how others are invovled even while you preach that you do.

 

I also don't by into porn being the least of the bad options out there. It's a cop out to use that justification as well as lazy. Under your line of thinking I could rationlize that It's okay if I make out with a guy as long as I don't sleep with him if I have a boyfriend. Because making out with him is the lesser of the two evils. I however doubt any guy would want his girlfriend making out with a guy.

[Jersey Shortie]

Call me old fashioned, I'd rather watched young women fu3king than being tortured and killed.

How about watching women your age having sex? Or are men not interested in that either? If we go by porn, most men seem more intersted in 18 year olds anyway. Women get tossed aside.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I have to admit that I don't watch porn with women my own age. I prefer younger women. Why? Because I like how their bodies look. Smooth, taut, shapely without being wobbly, etc. It doesn't make me feel any different about myself really.

[Mr. Lucky]

 

How about watching women your age having sex? Or are men not interested in that either? If we go by porn, most men seem more intersted in 18 year olds anyway. Women get tossed aside.

The 18 year olds aren't women ???

 

I don't know if it's insecurity or arrogance to assume that an image that your partner looks at indicates a lack or failing on your part. If he has a picture of the Mona Lisa, it means he doesn't like your smile? A man or woman that looks at a picture of an attractive person, clothed or unclothed, is not casting a vote against their partner...

 

Mr. Lucky

[grogster]

I have to admit that I don't watch porn with women my own age. I prefer younger women. Why? Because I like how their bodies look. Smooth, taut, shapely without being wobbly, etc. It doesn't make me feel any different about myself really.

 

 

And for the same reasons I don't like watching men my age. Personal aesthetics is neither self-loathing nor disrespectful of gender.

 

The ideologically obsessed read far too much into far too little.

[Jersey Shortie]

I have to admit that I don't watch porn with women my own age. I prefer younger women. Why? Because I like how their bodies look. Smooth, taut, shapely without being wobbly, etc. It doesn't make me feel any different about myself really.

 

I think there is something sad in that. But that's just me. You obviously think those women are more attractive then yourself and rather get turned on by them then illustrating your own sexuality to some degree.

 

 

 

The 18 year olds aren't women ???

 

I don't know if it's insecurity or arrogance to assume that an image that your partner looks at indicates a lack or failing on your part. If he has a picture of the Mona Lisa, it means he doesn't like your smile? A man or woman that looks at a picture of an attractive person, clothed or unclothed, is not casting a vote against their partner...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Yeah, I never said 18 year olds don't have womanly bodies. I just find it sad that so many men do infact look at porn of a limited age group 18-25..around there and then are suprised when their partners who are getting older question their own bodies and ablility to turn on their partner. Men want women to be confident yet they want to remind women that they don't find them as attractive the older they get. Women just get the short end of the stick and we ares suppose to be happy and thankful for any little scraps men through our way. Well whatever. I am young now but I think it sucks that women think men get better and men think women are crap the older they get.

 

I think it's sad that you love a man, marry him, spend years with him and he is still looking at girls young enough to be his daughter. It's like men just don't give a crap about women either way.And somehow, women are suppose to rise above this while their own men can't rise about thesmvles enough to see how it's kind of messed up.

 

But don't worry Mr. Lucky, like most men, where yoru loyatlies lie is obvious.

 

 

 

And for the same reasons I don't like watching men my age. Personal aesthetics is neither self-loathing nor disrespectful of gender.

 

The ideologically obsessed read far too much into far too little.

 

Do you masturbate to younger men like you do younger women? Personal aesthetics says alot about what you find attractive and I find irony is saying that you don't even like looking at people your own age. You pretty much are replacing yourself for pictures of younger people. You rather look at pictures of younger women (or men if you masturbate to them). It's somewhat sad. Considerig your own age.

[Mr. Lucky]

You pretty much are replacing yourself for pictures of younger people. You rather look at pictures of younger women (or men if you masturbate to them). It's somewhat sad. Considerig your own age.

A hopelessly needy and insecure point of view. Why wouldn't your partner feel the same way the next time you watched a Brad Pitt movie? Or is "replacement" only a sexual concept?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Jersey Shortie]

Is Brad Pitt 18 or implanted? He is pretty much an average guy. He's not super hot.

 

And I don't know one woman that phsyically sits there and masturbates to him. I also don't know any woman that replaces men based on age like men seem to enjoy doing to women.

 

Again, your post fails to address anything I talked about.

[Mr. Lucky]

Is Brad Pitt 18 or implanted? He is pretty much an average guy. He's not super hot.

Now I know you're delusional. You don't think that women's interest in Brad Pitt is based on his looks?

And I don't know one woman that phsyically sits there and masturbates to him. I also don't know any woman that replaces men based on age like men seem to enjoy doing to women.

That you only see this half-baked "replacement" idea as sexual again delineates your specific area of insecurity and self-esteem. As you said, that strikes me as sad...

 

Mr. Lucky

[grogster]

Now I know you're delusional. You don't think that women's interest in Brad Pitt is based on his looks?

 

That you only see this half-baked "replacement" idea as sexual again delineates your specific area of insecurity and self-esteem. As you said, that strikes me as sad...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

My man, it should be apparent to all that these conversations (and I use that term loosely)are not about porn as they are about seriously unhinged thought processes.

 

Sometimes the Shack can be a bad place for certain types of posters: the obsessed, the delusional.

 

You're just throwing gasoline on the fire.

[Jersey Shortie]

Now I know you're delusional. You don't think that women's interest in Brad Pitt is based on his looks?

 

You make poor assumptions based only on what you *think* you know. Yes, I think some women are attracted to Brad Pitt on his looks. Again, is he implanted in anyway or is he 18??

 

Again, while I htink women are attracted to him, I don't think they sit there masturbating to him. How is Brad Pitt comparable to what porn is to men? Isn't Brad Pitt compared to Catherine Zeta-Jones? An attractive actor/actress that I doubt most people are sitting there mastubating to.

 

 

 

That you only see this half-baked "replacement" idea as sexual again delineates your specific area of insecurity and self-esteem. As you said, that strikes me as sad...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

And the fact that men seem to need porn, and are in part somewhat dependent on it to have a satisfying sex life, stirkes me as very sad.

 

I never argued that I don't have insecurities. We all do You included Mr. Lucky. But when you take a medium such as porn, and justfy men's use of it, where it's about idealizing women's bodies to something that most women aren't ever going to meet, but expect women to rise above it, while you make excuses for men pandering to it, I find that exceedingly selfish and self invovled, and speaks of men's own insecurities.

 

 

Sometimes the Shack can be a bad place for certain types of posters.

 

I agree groster..I certainly agree. I think "our types of posters" are defined differently.

[soserious1]

Yes Jersey,the younger women men masterbate to are most generally a lot better looking, a lot more visually sexually arousing than their middle aged

wives.

 

The women that my soon to be ex found arousing are and were quite physically

attractive, much more physically attractive than I am.A lot of guys will look at porn in order to be able to get an erection to service their older wives. It is just the way mother nature set things up to work .. men are visually aroused by young,healthy fertile women and (generally )turned off by sick,old or fat women

 

Now if you're an old broad, you either decide that some sex is better than no sex and you pretend not to notice the source of his arousal or if you can't cope with it,you bring matters to a head by confronting him till he tells you a truth he might have been furiously trying to sidestep because he loves you as a person and really,really didn't want to hurt you because he knows you aging is no more your fault than his being hard wired to go for fertile young women is his.

 

You back each other into corners..he ends up flat out telling you that you are physically too old, your face and body showing too many signs of aging to do anything but turn him off, cause him to lose his erection. You respond with even more angry words... all sex stops, soon all affection or sharing of anything stops as well.

 

Before long you end up like me, divorced, sitting alone with a couple of cats

while your ex hubby is out happily slamming his man meat into 30 yr old

yoga instructors.

 

Young,pretty women with tight firm bodies are better to look at than old,wrinkled saggy women... the truth, it sets us all free.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I think there is something sad in that. But that's just me. You obviously think those women are more attractive then yourself and rather get turned on by them then illustrating your own sexuality to some degree.

 

Something sad in finding beauty in a young woman's body? In getting pleasure from enjoying said body? Nah.. not even close to sad. I don't look at young, hot women in porn because I compare them to myself. I look at them because young, hot women turn me on. Particularly when I watch them turn each other on. I don't watch anything with d*ck in it, unless it is something I really like in general like that Pirates movie. I get turned on by women, period - always have. Young, healthy, fit specimens (with no fake parts - I dislike obviously fake parts and obvious aesthetic plastic surgery of any sort) in particular.

 

My own sexuality is surprisingly robust all considering. I have no breasts, I am in full menopause, I am still a bit more chubby than I would like from the months of steroids that were pumping through me - but you know what? I love how I look. I love how I feel when I get off. I love how I feel when my H and I are together.

 

Does that mean I want to watch porn with women like myself? I see myself in the mirror every day and I am happy with myself. Why would I need to get off to that? Its a bit redundant, don't you think? Its about fantasy, and tapping into fantasy. I don't fantasize about myself, or women like myself. I fantasize about a different type. I guess that is the missing link - people tend to fantasize about things that they don't already have, or don't have in abundance.

 

What is wrong about that? It doesn't mean they aren't happy with what they have. It only reflects what they fantasize about, and nothing more.

[The Collector]

Its about fantasy, and tapping into fantasy. I don't fantasize about myself, or women like myself. I fantasize about a different type. I guess that is the missing link - people tend to fantasize about things that they don't already have, or don't have in abundance.

 

JerseyShortie doesn't understand the nature of fantasy, or admit that women have heir own, non-pc fantasies. Everything is twisted to reflect her own insecurities and fear of aging.

[soserious1]

JerseyShortie doesn't understand the nature of fantasy, or admit that women have heir own, non-pc fantasies. Everything is twisted to reflect her own insecurities and fear of aging.

 

And what is so horribly wrong with admitting the truth? The fact that for the vast majority of people of looking at young,fit, physically pretty faces and smooth,toned bodies is prefered to viewing old,sagging,wrinkled bodies with scars and marks. Even young infants prefer looking at attractive faces over ugly faces.

 

I can freely admit that the playboy playmate of the month is beautiful and physically desirable and that I am not beautiful nor am I physically desirable. The facts are the facts, this particularly fact doesn't mean that the model is also a great person, nor does it mean I'm a lousy person. It just means more people are going to be sexually aroused by her than are aroused by me.

[popey]

I have plenty of thoughts on this subject, but I feel this conversation has gone awry so I will only offer the following at this time.

 

I am personally anti-porn. I firmly believe that the government/law should not interfere w/ most porn. I just don't believe in morality law-making. But I also don't think its totally cool whatever anyone else digs about porn, and that this has no consequence on both individuals and society at large. I personally think it is a more complex subject than is being discussed, and some sound ground for debate are being missed by a combination of emotions and defenses.

[Jersey Shortie]

JerseyShortie doesn't understand the nature of fantasy, or admit that women have heir own, non-pc fantasies. Everything is twisted to reflect her own insecurities and fear of aging.

 

I understand the nature of fantasy. I understand there is a huge difference between what men wished they had and what most men end up with. And men get what they wished they had from porn and settle for the reality of what a real woman's body is in most cases. I understand that most women, unless they are 18, don't meet a man's expectation of them. And I understand that as I get older, I will infact be indirectly replaced for women younger then myself. And when those same women age, they will be replaced for women younger then themselves. And as a woman, yes that is an insecurity of mine. I don't want to hit a certain age and all the sudden not be attractive to men anymore. It's just as natural a feeling for women as is for men to want to have sex and still be sexy and have power in their sexual prowness as it is for women. HOw many men have insecurities about fearing not being able to perform? Should we mock them and their insecurities in that regard? Such as you are mocking me for my very realistic fear and hurt over how replacable men make women. And how men expect women to rise above a culture that replaces them every two minutes and that their own men buy into? Yeah, I'm insecure about that and I don't hide that. Neither do I think it is unnatural or so far off base. And I think there is alot of truth in what I say.

 

Something sad in finding beauty in a young woman's body?

 

Yeah, that's not exactly quite what I said though is it. I never said it was sad to think a woman who was young was pretty. What I said was it's sad that so many women get married, spend a lifetime with a man, bare his children, and at the end of the day that woman can expect that in most cases, most men will still be looking at 18 year old girls as the years go by. That's what I find sad. You can disagree, that's fine. I disagree with you. But the message is clear to me what men are saying. And that message makes me wonder why men pretend they care and love women tobegin with or that they can find a woman beautiful.

 

I don't look at young, hot women in porn because I compare them to myself.

 

That's fine for you. And I am sure alot of men are cheering you on in your personal assement. But you know what? Most women aren't like you. And I don't think the answer is that even most women should be like you. Women are women and are going to compare themselves to other women. That doesn't make them wrong or insecure or any other negative attribuate you or the guys here want to attach to it. That's natural. As natural as it is for men to be turned on by women.

 

Men compare themselves to other men all the time. And I think it's naive to think that your woman isn't going to compare herself, in most cases, to what you are getting off to visually. And in all honesty, why shouldn't she?

 

 

I look at them because young, hot women turn me on. Particularly when I watch them turn each other on.

 

I get turned on by men. And they don't need to be young to be attractive. Too bad men can't be the same way. Women are always goign to be fighting a loosing battle. We loose. Men win. And men don't care. THat's what men have taught me. They don't care to make women feel beautiful or appreciated.

 

My own sexuality is surprisingly robust all considering. I have no breasts, I am in full menopause, I am still a bit more chubby than I would like from the months of steroids that were pumping through me - but you know what? I love how I look. I love how I feel when I get off. I love how I feel when my H and I are together.

 

Yeah, guess what. My sexuality is suprisingly robust as well despite me having my insecurities about my body and about men. I am still able to enjoy sex. You love how you look but you wouldn't enjoy looking at other women that look like you. So I have to wonder how much you really love how you look.

 

 

Does that mean I want to watch porn with women like myself? I see myself in the mirror every day and I am happy with myself. Why would I need to get off to that? Its a bit redundant, don't you think?

 

Personally, not at all. I don't think its redundant.

 

So what you are saying is that if you were a 36d with long blond hair and a tiny waist, you wouldn't want to look at that because it would be redundant.

 

 

Its about fantasy, and tapping into fantasy. I don't fantasize about myself, or women like myself. I fantasize about a different type. I guess that is the missing link - people tend to fantasize about things that they don't already have, or don't have in abundance.

 

 

Yeap, and that's why the fantasy always wins. The fantasy is always better. It doesn't matter how good a partner you try to be, how much you try to indulge your partner. The fantasy is always what men will prefer.

 

 

What is wrong about that? It doesn't mean they aren't happy with what they have. It only reflects what they fantasize about, and nothing more.

 

I would disagree. If you fantasize about something you want it on some level. And I think in most cases, people would want it tobe real on some level. so no, I don't think it's "just a fantasy" and I don't think fantsizes are always harmless.

[c-riouz]

... people tend to fantasize about things that they don't already have, or don't have in abundance.

 

What is wrong about that? It doesn't mean they aren't happy with what they have. It only reflects what they fantasize about, and nothing more.

 

You're making no sense. Saying that you fantasize about what you don't have or don't have in abundance implies that you'd like to have it, or wouldn't say no if it was offered to you. So then stating that it "means nothing, only reflects what they fantasize about" is a contradiction. But that's no surprise with most porn users....

[Taramere]

You're making no sense. Saying that you fantasize about what you don't have or don't have in abundance implies that you'd like to have it, or wouldn't say no if it was offered to you.

 

I can't agree with that. I fantasise about things that I wouldn't want in reality. That's the point of fantasy. If you have the imagination, and the ability to separate it from reality, then it gives you the opportunity to dabble in a world you wouldn't actually want to inhabit. The opportunity to experience different emotions and sensations without having to go through pain to get them.

 

Horror films allow people to experience fearful feelings without the genuine danger that goes with them. Porn allows people to experience (second hand) sex with people who fit conventional standards of beauty - without the hassle that may accompany dealing with people who devote far more than average amounts of time, thought and money to their appearance. Depending on your interests and mindset, a person like that might be dull to spend time with, or to emulate - but they're beautiful to watch.

 

I enjoy watching ballet, and I'll fantasise that I'm one of the dancers. As a child I did ballet for about 8 years and discovered a little of the sacrifices dancers make. I know a couple of older women who were dancers in their youth. Hip replacements, health problems.....if you want to be exceptional (at a sport, an art or simply exceptionally beautiful) then there's always a price to pay. It's only worth paying if you are obsessed by a particular activity and all that goes with it.

 

Whether you watch porn, an Olympic sportsperson or a ballet dancer, the chances are that you're deriving second hand pleasure from watching the fruit of someone else's effort, sacrifices - and (in some cases) obsession. A rational person may accept the fun in watching this, indulging in a little harmless fantasy about being in that role...but ultimately be okay with the impossibility of really being in that role. Prefer, in reality, to be who they are. Have the life, friends and family they have. Be good at the things they're good at. We can all feel envy, but I doubt many people would really want to give up the talents and the people that are special to them in order to inhabit someone else's life.

[grogster]

I can't agree with that. I fantasise about things that I wouldn't want in reality. That's the point of fantasy. If you have the imagination, and the ability to separate it from reality, then it gives you the opportunity to dabble in a world you wouldn't actually want to inhabit. The opportunity to experience different emotions and sensations without having to go through pain to get them.

 

Horror films allow people to experience fearful feelings without the genuine danger that goes with them. Porn allows people to experience (second hand) sex with people who fit conventional standards of beauty - without the hassle that may accompany dealing with people who devote far more than average amounts of time, thought and money to their appearance. Depending on your interests and mindset, a person like that might be dull to spend time with, or to emulate - but they're beautiful to watch.

 

I enjoy watching ballet, and I'll fantasise that I'm one of the dancers. As a child I did ballet for about 8 years and discovered a little of the sacrifices dancers make. I know a couple of older women who were dancers in their youth. Hip replacements, health problems.....if you want to be exceptional (at a sport, an art or simply exceptionally beautiful) then there's always a price to pay. It's only worth paying if you are obsessed by a particular activity and all that goes with it.

 

Whether you watch porn, an Olympic sportsperson or a ballet dancer, the chances are that you're deriving second hand pleasure from watching the fruit of someone else's effort, sacrifices - and (in some cases) obsession. A rational person may accept the fun in watching this, indulging in a little harmless fantasy about being in that role...but ultimately be okay with the impossibility of really being in that role. Prefer, in reality, to be who they are. Have the life, friends and family they have. Be good at the things they're good at. We can all feel envy, but I doubt many people would really want to give up the talents and the people that are special to them in order to inhabit someone else's life.

 

Interestingly, it's the pornophobics who, either through a profound lack of imagination or ideological rigidity (perhaps both), equate fantasy, entertainment and the enjoyment of others with desire, obsession and felt personal inadequacies.

 

The Phobes strain to contort the world into their benighted world view. These Porn Fundamentalists remind me of Old School Marxists or Free Market Fundamentalists who clung to their discredited Ideologies long after real world events discredited their world views.

 

That's why I believe these discussions are not about porn as much as ideological rigidity and sexual obsession. The Porn Phobes are ideologues and the real world, real people be damned.

[Jersey Shortie]

Interestingly, it's the pornophobics who, either through a profound lack of imagination or ideological rigidity (perhaps both), equate fantasy, entertainment and the enjoyment of others with desire, obsession and felt personal inadequacies.

 

The Phobes strain to contort the world into their benighted world view. These Porn Fundamentalists remind me of Old School Marxists or Free Market Fundamentalists who clung to their discredited Ideologies long after real world events discredited their world views.

 

That's why I believe these discussions are not about porn as much as ideological rigidity and sexual obsession. The Porn Phobes are ideologues and the real world, real people be damned.

 

 

Completely wrong. I do not lack imagination, fun or enjoyment in sex out side the norm. And yet, I don't need porn to feel satisified with my partner or sex life or even fantasy life. I don't think fantasy is always wrong or bad. I however find porn misognistic to women.

 

And while i don't feel that fantasy is always wrong, I do think people take it too far and over indulge in it. I think men are particuarly pray to this, especially fantasy produced for them, by them through porn and I think it warps men's minds towards women, and not in a positive healthy way.

 

If you believe there to be people who are porn phobes, then you can understand that there are people that are so pro-porn, they are the same as the porn-phobes, just on the other end of the spectrum. Just as irrational about the subject.

 

Good thing none of us are like that!

 

As for the real world proving "porn-phobes" wrong? Umm, pray tell, how has the real world proved that poeple are wrong to disliked porn and not want it in their life?

 

Aside from that, it's not a matter of being a "porn-phobe". I don't fear porn. I however do fear what it is doing to men, and the younger boys growing up on it. And I don't think it's doing anyting particulary positive fo them.

[LucreziaBorgia]

You love how you look but you wouldn't enjoy looking at other women that look like you. So I have to wonder how much you really love how you look.

 

I do love how I look, but I can't honestly say that looking in the mirror at myself turns me on. Nor would looking at a woman in my demographic or fitting my description would turn me on (though, I'd have to admit that if I got to know her then there might be things about her that turn me on) but from a 100% superficial standpoint: I have a type. Certain types of women turn me on - dark hair, elfin features, petite, pale skin, small breasts... etc. I'm a tall, athletically built redhead. Not my own type, unfortunately. That doesn't mean I dislike myself or wish I could trade myself in to look like someone else.

 

Nor does it mean that I watch girls like that in porn and wish... "man I wish I could get rid of my H and D so that I could be with her." That is absolutely absurd! All it means is that I get to watch something that taps a part of my brain and sexual psyche that doesn't otherwise get tapped. H has no problem with my preferences. It has never affected what we have, and he has never felt threatened by anything I watch. I've never felt threatened by his 'young Asian chick' porn either.

 

You're making no sense. Saying that you fantasize about what you don't have or don't have in abundance implies that you'd like to have it, or wouldn't say no if it was offered to you. So then stating that it "means nothing, only reflects what they fantasize about" is a contradiction. But that's no surprise with most porn users....

 

Why do you think that fantasizing about something means you want it, or wouldn't say no if offered it?

 

I fantasize about all sorts of sexual things and situations with people that have no place in my real life, nor would I want to introduce them into my real life.

[grogster]

There's a play, a pretend element to porn especially when watched by couples. The Porn Fundamentalists don't appreciate, understand or acknowledge the playful make believe of porn fueled sex.

 

They refuse to imagine situations where a couple can watch porn together, become stimulated by each other and the fantasy and reach orgasm together.

 

Many, many people can do this without denigrating their own or their partner's body or wanting, in real life, the porn models. It's about playfulness and perspective both which the Porn Fundamentalists lack.

[a4a]

porn is awesome! and I have a vagina.

 

Now if you think the women are always degraded.... check out "pegging"...... Shortie you might like it!

 

 

The only porn that is gross is the spit porn... man, use lube!

 

And if some chick is getting it from all ends.... more power to her!

Enjoy the ride..... pun intended!

[Jersey Shortie]

I do love how I look, but I can't honestly say that looking in the mirror at myself turns me on.

 

I doubt looking in the mirror is enough to turn most people on, attractive or not.

 

Nor would looking at a woman in my demographic or fitting my description would turn me on (though, I'd have to admit that if I got to know her then there might be things about her that turn me on) but from a 100% superficial standpoint: I have a type.

 

So, as I previously asked, if you were a tall blond with nice boobs, you don't think tall blonds with nice boobs would turn you on because you are one? I find a little inconsistency in saying you love how you look, wouldn't want to change it but aren't even attracted to other women who look like you.

 

 

That doesn't mean I dislike myself or wish I could trade myself in to look like someone else.

 

I don't think it means you dislike yourself. But I do wonder if you really would trade your looks to look more like what you like.

 

Nor does it mean that I watch girls like that in porn and wish... "man I wish I could get rid of my H and D so that I could be with her." That is absolutely absurd!

 

It's really not so absurd. I am sure there are many men out there that would like to be with whatever girl they see in a porn that they are attracted to. Does that mean that their partner doesn't have a great personality? No. It does mean that he is betraying her a little bit. I am sorry but there is no rational way you can have porn, with all types of women and NEVER expect that a man does infact rather be with whatever flavor he is looking at over the woman that loves him.

 

 

H has no problem with my preferences. It has never affected what we have, and he has never felt threatened by anything I watch.

 

Why would he feel threated by other women? Sorry but your situation isn't the same as what most women encounter. You aren't sitting there comparing him to other men. It seems like you prefer looking at women over men. There is nothing for him to compete against.

 

It is 100% natural for women to compare themselves to other women. ESPECIALLY when the man they care for are looking at other women a mouse click away. I am so sick of making excuses and justifications for men's weakness for porn but demanding that women raise about the issues they face when presented with these situations. So sick of it. Sick of the expectations women are suppose to have while men can pander to their weaknesses and still want women to accept them. All the while looking and lusting and wanting after other women.

 

I've never felt threatened by his 'young Asian chick' porn either.

Why do you think that fantasizing about something means you want it, or wouldn't say no if offered it?

 

What do you think that fantasizing about something means you don't want it? And wouldn't take it if offered?

 

Fantasizing, means you want it on some level. What you, and most men fail to realize that yeah, it's natural for men to like porn. I don't argue that. But it's natural and normal for a woman to feel hurt and threatened by it. Especially when he is seeking out something you arne't. That speaks volumes.

 

I fantasize about all sorts of sexual things and situations with people that have no place in my real life, nor would I want to introduce them into my real life.

 

Yeah I get that. But that doesn't mean that many men do the same. And actually do want what they see.

 

I just think women get screwed over no matter what they do. You try to have more exciting sex with him and it still isn't good enough because men have become drones to their porn filled computers.

 

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There's a play, a pretend element to porn especially when watched by couples. The Porn Fundamentalists don't appreciate, understand or acknowledge the playful make believe of porn fueled sex.

 

They refuse to imagine situations where a couple can watch porn together, become stimulated by each other and the fantasy and reach orgasm together.

 

Many, many people can do this without denigrating their own or their partner's body or wanting, in real life, the porn models. It's about playfulness and perspective both which the Porn Fundamentalists lack.

 

The Pro-porn fundamentlists don't appreciate the value of one person, and learning to please them and engage in playful sex with just them. Instead of needing other aids to feel fullfilled sexually. You talk about imagination. But porn has nothing to do with real imagination. You are copy cating what you see. That's not playfullness or imagination. You are buying into what some porn producer told you what he thought was sexy.