rclynn Posted August 26, 2003 Share Posted August 26, 2003 I divorced my ex husband about 4 years ago.. we've since remained friends...... let me give you the ages of all of us i am 32, my ex is 38 and his ex girlfriend is 49.......well his ex girlfriend won't leave him alone.... she drives by his workplace 3-4 times a day (that he sees--maybe mroe that he doesn't see) she drives by his house about 3 times every evening-- and at least twice by my house in the evenings.... last night he came to my house to help me put up some verticle blinds, and we counted, she drove by 17 times in 2 hours.... she won't leave us alone, she never confronts us...but she's always around..... my ex and i have been spending a lot of time together, and she's still upset about their breakup and wants him back.... by the way, he had broke it off with her about 3 weeks before we started spending time together..... how do we get her to stop driving by, and to let go and move on.... ????? Link to post Share on other sites
Arcane Posted August 26, 2003 Share Posted August 26, 2003 two words - restraining order. Link to post Share on other sites
CaterpillarGirl Posted August 26, 2003 Share Posted August 26, 2003 Definitely restraining order. At the very least, though, you are going to need to confront her first and ask her to stop her behavior. Your boyfriend should, preferably, be the one to do this. If she does not, get the restraining order. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted August 26, 2003 Share Posted August 26, 2003 Restraining Orders (RO) are sometimes difficult to obtain if there has been no overt threat. She sounds like a pitiful woman. Have either of you told her that you want her to stop "stalking"? If you have and she's still doing it, then in your place I would contact an attorney and get his advice. You may need to send her a registered letter (or one from your attorney) asking her to cease stalking you. You have to be a little careful on the wording of the letter, but you also have to be very clear. Some states have slightly different stalking laws so you may be able to get a RO without taking this step, but if she continues this behavior after receiving the letter, you should have a good case for a RO. If she is scaring you, or interfering with your daily life (afraid to be in your front yard or garage, have nightmares, etc.) then you have cause for legal action. If you go into a courtroom and ask for a RO the judge is going to ask you if this person has been asked to change their behavior and refused. If you say "no" you haven't asked this person to stop it, then there isn't much the judge can do. But if you show that she received a letter, the copy of the letter, then show what days and times she has driven by, the judge may issue the RO. Link to post Share on other sites
CaterpillarGirl Posted August 26, 2003 Share Posted August 26, 2003 Originally posted by HokeyReligions Restraining Orders (RO) are sometimes difficult to obtain if there has been no overt threat. If you go into a courtroom and ask for a RO the judge is going to ask you if this person has been asked to change their behavior and refused. If you say "no" you haven't asked this person to stop it, then there isn't much the judge can do. But if you show that she received a letter, the copy of the letter, then show what days and times she has driven by, the judge may issue the RO. Yes, that is very true. The letter idea is a good way to go. If she doesn't know that her behavior is causing you distress, then it would be unlikely you could get a restraining order. Link to post Share on other sites
Mandy Posted August 27, 2003 Share Posted August 27, 2003 Are you positive it is her? The reason I ask is I was called and accused by my ex's new g/f of driving by his house. She calls me screaming in the middle of the night. I had been nowhere near his house, have not driven by once since we broke up 3 months ago. I found out later, from one of my friends that lives in the same neighborhood, that someone new had moved into his neighborhod with a car just like mine. She was also a short blonde with long hair according to my friend. My ex also works in a place on a main street in town. Many times I go out of my way not to drive by there on my way to work or college. but sometimes I am tired of going out of my way and it is a public street so I go that way. I would hate to think he feels like I am making up reasons to drive by when I am not. If it really is her I can understand your upset, but at the same time, you guys seem awfuly worried about it to sit there and count the times she drives by. Maybe if you ignore it she will stop. Although I know it is uncomfortble, is it harming you or just annoying you? Link to post Share on other sites
rclynn Posted August 27, 2003 Share Posted August 27, 2003 It's just that we always feel like we're on display..... and it's DEFINITELY her, she drives by sooo slow, so that we DO see her......... last night we started "waving" at her, so that she knows she's not fooling anyone..... Then after the 3rd time she drove by, we shut all the curtains and blinds... so no matter how slow she drove by, she couldn't see anything..... I contacted our local police department, and they said until she "harasses" us, there's really nothing we can do.... simply driving on a public street, she can do that as much as she wants.... she doesn't call, doesn't honk her horn or anything......... just drives by so we see her....... I used to run into her all the time at the store, and I haven't run into her since my ex and i started dating .... i'm anxious to see what she says/does when i see her face to face!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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