stolenheart123 Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 Its been 5 months of NC. I was on here for the first few months and I posted my story awhile back. I decided I needed to change my life and I completely stopped going online. I finally started moving on. I felt I could come back online. And I did so. My ex sent me her identity theft mail to my house, and she even sent me a message a month ago, regarding her identity theft. I didnt reply and I got the message a month late because I didnt go online. Some days were very difficult, but I just let her be. I was really getting over her, but I still loved her. She lives in Denver CO, I live in NY. We were together for 6 years. Well today I logged into yahoo to play some chess. I get a message from someone, I didnt know who it was. I replied, and it was my ex. I was speechless. I didnt want to be rude, maybe I should have been after all the hurt she caused me, but we continued talking. To be honest I am over the hurt and pain she caused. She asked how I was doing, i kept it brief. She then said, she was so sorry, and how stupid she was to let me go, and how I treated her amazingly, and I was the sweetest person she knew. She didnt realize it until I was gone. Getting that apology after 5 months from her meant alot. I wasnt over her, I still loved her but I was happy for her even if she was with someone else. She said shes been alone just getting her life together. She told me about her life for the 5 months we didnt speak. We talked for about 45 mins online. She then asked if I would be home in an hour, because she wanted to talk to me but she had to do something. I said yes. She signed offline. I sat there in a blurr. My heart was racing and I felt sort of at peace. A million thoughts racing through my mind, I just sat there. So I ordered some pizza. 45 mins later I hear a knock on my door. I open it and shes standing right there. I was more than speechless. Seeing her brought all these feelings back, she just gave me the biggest hug, and I just squeezed her so tight. My heart was pounding, and she said "I have the engagement ring I pawned, I got it back and I wanted to give it back to you, but i'd love to keep it and start over fresh." She told me she loves me, and realizes the mistakes she has made. She has never been to NY, during our entire relationship I would always go see her. She said shes willing to move here with me right now. The distance is one of the main reasons we broke up. We sat and talked for awhile about so many things. Well she did most of the talking I just sat there and listened. Then she said she was extremely tired and she didnt want to travel 45 mins back to the hotel. So I let her sleep in my bed, and im watching her sleep as I type this on here. I love her still, im just absolutely speechless right now. I haven't seen her in about a year and we didnt speak for 5 months, but this moment right now is unreal. I keep thinking I am dreaming. For the past week I have dreamt of her every night. Do second chances really work? I dont even know what to say....we both seem to have learned so much in the time apart. Any advice, i still cannot believe she's in NY. Link to post Share on other sites
Konfuzion Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 2nd chances can work, but you will probably be best off going to counseling right away to sort through the old problems you two had together... Other than that what a sweet story, best of luck to you both. Link to post Share on other sites
JooLee Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 imho, everyone deserves a 2nd chance and its how you make it work. dont give up this is such a beautiful story.. i hope 2nd chance would come along my way sometime soon.. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 It looks as if this has the making of a wonderful relationship and happy ending. But yes, I agree with Konfusion... Consider (apart from the distance) what might have made things difficult before. Don't just 'resolve to not do it again', because that doesn't resolve anything. You both seem to be convinced this deserves a second chance. Work on it. It would appear to be worth it. Come back to us and let us know how it goes. (Don't leave any rude bits out, we're all adults now....) Link to post Share on other sites
CherishG Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 omg...that's probably one of the BEST story/post I have ever read on LS!!! I haven't even been here that long but your story is so uplifting for my soul, and I really needed it too. I've always believed in second chances, and even how burned I just got recently, I still deep inside my broken heart, still believe in LOVE... She found her way back home... She found her way back to your heart... and I wish the two of you the greatest gift of LOVE and good luck. Pls keep us updated on the progress... this story literally brought me to tears, thanks for sharing! cherish Link to post Share on other sites
wareagle Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 Great story stolen!! That is awesome!! Just tread lightly and remember actions speak louder than words. Take it slow if you choose to get back with her! Remember it is your decision!! Hope everything turns out smelling like roses for you and please keep us posted!! GOODLUCK!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author stolenheart123 Posted October 19, 2008 Author Share Posted October 19, 2008 Im still in complete shock. I didnt sleep at all last night. When she woke up she made me my favorite breakfast and now shes taking a shower. I am going to take her out and show her the city. She said she doesnt want to pressure me, and its totally up to me. She suggested counseling and said she would be happy to go with me if it would help us. She told me you are worth fighting for and sometimes people need time apart to realize the bigger picture. She apologized again for her behavior. I told her I still loved her. We both seemed at peace after how things ended. She said there are no limitations on how I can love you now, this time it will be completely different. I will keep you guys up to date. Im still at a lost for words. I know actions speak louder than words. Well for her to fly 2000 miles and show up on my door step unexpectedly is a nice action. We will see.. and everyone out there stay strong. Sometimes you really do have to let people go even if it kills you inside. Link to post Share on other sites
Rafa Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 I am so happy for you 'Stolen'!!!! That is a great result. I AM SO JEALOUS I would give my right arm to have that happen to my situation. Honestly though, good on you. It's so nice that some of us are getting these outcomes after so long and so much pain. Link to post Share on other sites
MichiganMan222 Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 I sat there in a blurr...A million thoughts racing through my mind, I just sat there. So I ordered some pizza. DUUUUUDE, That's EXACTLY what I do in that situation. There's counseling, and then there's pizza. LMFAO!!!!!! This is one of those stories that we all read (well MOST of us) and hope it happens to us. The beauty of this is you will both have under your belts the things that went wrong last time. Hopefully you can use that to make this time the dream you shared before..... Link to post Share on other sites
lofi_tokyo Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 Stolen, this is amazing! Congratulations! From what it sounds like, I really really believe this could be the beginning of something great. I am so happy your exgirlfriend came to the realization she did, and has been honest about it. Thank you for posting this story, it was so uplifting! Link to post Share on other sites
foxh1234 Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 Congrats, it sounds like you are off to a great new start. Best of Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
ioncebelieved Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 Wow!!! Your story brought a tear to my eye. I am glad things seemed to have come together for you. Just be careful how things progress and remain strong. Nice to see this happening. I firmly believe people deserve a second chance also. However, if either party did not change then it will be another waste of time. I also think that the dumper has a lot of redemption to make up for all the pain they caused the dumpee. I would give my ex another chance, but she would really have to give it her all and her actions would be believed over her words. Link to post Share on other sites
ninjaturtles Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TOUCHING. It's like a MOVIE. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Link to post Share on other sites
dannydrifter Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 It's so easy for a woman to be accepted after she comes back like this. But reverse the roles... when it's the guy who goes over to her place, all she would say is it's over it's over and i don't love you anymore. I think men give second chances more often than women. I would make this girl work just a little to earn her way back in. It shouldn't be this easy for her, considering how futile most attempts to reconcile with a cheating or walk away gf/wife are. Link to post Share on other sites
lofi_tokyo Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 It's so easy for a woman to be accepted after she comes back like this. But reverse the roles... when it's the guy who goes over to her place, all she would say is it's over it's over and i don't love you anymore. I think men give second chances more often than women. I would make this girl work just a little to earn her way back in. It shouldn't be this easy for her, considering how futile most attempts to reconcile with a cheating or walk away gf/wife are. Hahahah Danny. Yeah its true. If my ex came over tomorrow and knocked on my door (we live 3hrs flying apart), telling me he loved me? My jaw would drop, thats for sure... but would I welcome him back? I mean, I can't say unless that actually happens, but as it stands, nooo way. If he ever wants me back, its gonna take a miracle to win me over. Link to post Share on other sites
dead-dyke Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 Absolutely, Unf***ing. Believable. that is awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
Deegee Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 WOW! AND YAY! Good for you! I wish you both luck, and I hope that this works out for you. Keep us posted! Link to post Share on other sites
Author stolenheart123 Posted November 17, 2008 Author Share Posted November 17, 2008 UPDATE: After she showed up unexpectedly, we got along great, but a few days later she left and went back to Denver. We talked about reconciliation but she became very distant after we spoke. I started feeling all the old feelings rushing back, I started feeling all the hurt over again. We kept in contact and I found out she felt hurt about me dating someone during our break up. She wasn't sure if she was ruining my chances with that girl. I told her she was just a friend really, nothing more. We talked about it, and she told me she had fallen in love with me all over again. She said she's willing to make the biggest commitment by leaving everything she's known for 32 years in colorado, and move to NY with me. In 5 hours she will be here at JFK, and im so nervous. You know I never thought we would get back together, but sometimes love does conquer all when both people want to work it out. I wish everyone luck and blessings. Link to post Share on other sites
lofi_tokyo Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Thank you Stolen for the update!! I was actually wondering how things turned out for you yesterday! I'm so happy that your girlfriend, in leaving you, discovered just how much you meant to her. Its a beautiful story and its great hearing that she is truly prepared to make a huge commitment for you. Wonderful! Link to post Share on other sites
LittleDove Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Thats awesome, what a nice story. Im so glad it worked out. Make the second chance worth it! Goodluck!!! Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Im still in complete shock. I didnt sleep at all last night. When she woke up she made me my favorite breakfast and now shes taking a shower. I am going to take her out and show her the city. She said she doesnt want to pressure me, and its totally up to me. She suggested counseling and said she would be happy to go with me if it would help us. She told me you are worth fighting for and sometimes people need time apart to realize the bigger picture. She apologized again for her behavior. I told her I still loved her. We both seemed at peace after how things ended. She said there are no limitations on how I can love you now, this time it will be completely different. I will keep you guys up to date. Im still at a lost for words. I know actions speak louder than words. Well for her to fly 2000 miles and show up on my door step unexpectedly is a nice action. We will see.. and everyone out there stay strong. Sometimes you really do have to let people go even if it kills you inside. Counseling is a GREAT idea and I'd highly suggest you both go, together. I think this is a great post and I don't want to be a downer here but that said... WORD OF CAUTION! Guard your heart. Don't be in a rush to start back up where you left off or you both could come crashing down just as quickly as it started up. Listen, she walked away from you and started another relationship. Why? That's what would be ringing LOUDLY in my ears right now. Why?! I understand we all make mistakes. She is the one who has to earn your love, respect and trust back. Don't give it all back right away. After all, if she can earn it back so quickly it will hold little value to her. Do not rush into anything. Seriously, this is a great story. I'm happy for you both. But always, always be wary of someone who has a epiphane like this. Be careful not to make the same mistakes, not to let yourself be taken advantage of.... Cheers and BEST of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 It's so easy for a woman to be accepted after she comes back like this. But reverse the roles... when it's the guy who goes over to her place, all she would say is it's over it's over and i don't love you anymore. I think men give second chances more often than women. I would make this girl work just a little to earn her way back in. It shouldn't be this easy for her, considering how futile most attempts to reconcile with a cheating or walk away gf/wife are. Because... When women break it off, it's after months and months of agnozing over the decision, talking their friends and families ears off and eventually accepting the decision BEFORE they pull the trigger. When women do the dumping there's usually no turning back. This case is very rare. Men to make rash decisions to leave and don't talk about it at length to anyone. When they've been dumped, they'll usually take that woman back as long as there wasn't any cheating involved. That goes both ways. Men tend to not make well-thought out decisions in either leaving or taking someone back. Just my $0.02 Link to post Share on other sites
darnay Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 That is good news and I am really pleased for you Stolenheart.. However, I really don't wanna rain on your parade but what you are going through right now is almost the same as what I lived through in January of this year. My ex came back to me after a break, completely out of the blue after a period of NC. He said he realised what a huge mistake he'd made and how he wanted us back, and how he'd changed. He spent six months convincing me, my family, his family and all our friends of his love for me, then asked me to have a civil partnership. Then completely out of the blue he dumped me all over again, for the same reason he did the first time before. My advice? Guard your heart and be very very very careful.. Once bitten, twice shy! Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 That is good news and I am really pleased for you Stolenheart.. However, I really don't wanna rain on your parade but what you are going through right now is almost the same as what I lived through in January of this year. My ex came back to me after a break, completely out of the blue after a period of NC. He said he realised what a huge mistake he'd made and how he wanted us back, and how he'd changed. He spent six months convincing me, my family, his family and all our friends of his love for me, then asked me to have a civil partnership. Then completely out of the blue he dumped me all over again, for the same reason he did the first time before. My advice? Guard your heart and be very very very careful.. Once bitten, twice shy! Sorry to hear that. With men, as I have said before, they tend to make rash decisions with little or no discussion with friends or family. Women are different. They'll talk everyone's ear off (except for their S/O) on the subject until their mind is made up. In the OP's case, she did fly all the way to NY to meet him. What I want him to do is take it slow. I would have a rash of questions for her, namely… 1. Why did you leave in the first place? 2. Why did you change your mind? 3. Why did you pawn the engagement ring? (That would have really p*ssed me off, btw!) 4. How can I trust that you won't do this again? Really, I would just take it slow and be very cautious. The main thing here is you don't want to be in a hurry to pick up where you left off or I can guarantee failure. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 OP I went back and read your original story. I just have to once again say, TREAD WITH CAUTION...... Link to post Share on other sites
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