Crono12983 Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 wow. ok...where do i start? i met this woman, we started talking alot, started hanging out. i became very interested in her. she has always referred to me as "just a friend", though. i see her so much more than just a friend. i can even say that i have fallen for her. this is where it gets confusing...we do everything 2 people in a relationship would do...kiss, hug, i love yous, spending time together, and yes...even sex. yet....i am still told that i am just a friend. the thing is...i know there has to be some attraction to me because we do all of those things. recently, i confessed to her how i felt about her. she told me that she doesn't see me that way and that how i feel about her is onesided. but she even started crying. she tells me that we are too different and that i do not like to do the things she does. when i asked her to give me an example, she told me that i don't like to run as much as her. which is not true..i do like to go running! maybe i can't run as many miles as her, but i still run and workout!! i feel very depressed, confused, and i have a deep sadness. because i know her and i could and would be great together. it seriously hurts in my heart whenever she calls me just her friend or when she tells me that she couldn't date me. if you have any advice or anything, please....i could really use it...because i feel like i've hit rock bottom and i don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
sos1971 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I 'm sorry to hear that you're in so much pain. She sounds like she's confused too. Maybe she got burned in her last relationship and just doesn't want to get too attached or something. If you can't handle the torment of it all, back away. In fact, I would probably back away no matter what. She knows how you feel. We human beings have a tendency to chase those who run away. It might give both of you some clarity. I wish the best for you. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Sounds like she's unable to form healthy attachments. IMO, she'll have to want and get psych help for it. I'll bet a lot of guys have had this experience with her. How long has she been single? Ever married? Some examples of what you might hear: We're not a couple I just said/did that because I thought you liked it I don't believe in that (after saying/doing otherwise) We're just friends Men are always hitting on me We're too different We're not compatible All of this while she is confiding in you and banging your brains out. It's the ultimate in mixed signals emanating from a damaged radio station. Personally, I'd tune into another channel Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 if you have any advice or anything, please....i could really use it...because i feel like i've hit rock bottom and i don't know what to do. If you and her could be great together then you need to take some kind of action that is going to show her this. Ask her out on a run - maybe you can't run the same distance or pace, but if you're a runner go hang with her. Do something she enjoys doing and that you could enjoy too. Show her. Should things not work out between the two of you, its okay. Relationships are hit and miss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Crono12983 Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 It's been awhile since i've logged in here. Thanks for your responses guys. It's still the same situation pretty much since I last posted. She has, however, recently told me that she thinks she is starting to care about me in that way, but then she goes back to telling me "oh...no...I don't care about you in that way". Then she'll say things like "you are getting more and more attractive to me every day" and when she goes out of town she'll always say "i miss you so much...i needed to hear your voice!" I am sooooo confused and lost. I know for a fact that I have fallen in love with her and all I want is to be with her and for her to feel the same about me. I don't know what to think anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Whoa, three months later.... OP, it's not going to change. I predict a lot of pain in your future. Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 I'm sorry to hear about this and I understand how much she means to you. However.. Yyou need to cut her out. She's not friend material and I'll tell you why. She's just using you. She doesn't even seem to even care about how her retarded actions might be affecting you and this does not sound like a friend type to me. People who act like this are referred to as Attention W*ores. Do not find excuses for why she may do what she does. Once you cut her out..she'll chase after you..if you want at that point, give her an ultimatum or just don't even bother speaking to her again. But if you keep this up, she is going to frustrate the H*ll oughta you and burn you out; turn you into damaged goods. Do not let someone do that. Cut her out. Link to post Share on other sites
socialight Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 not sure I follow. So you talk to her a lot, have sex, and do stuff together. But then she says she doesn't see you as a boyfriend? My response would be, who cares what she says. Look at what she does. She is acting like your GF. And in the meantime, start looking for other girls. If she stopped "acting" like your GF, then you have problems. In the meantime, stop worrying about the labels and judge her on what she does, not what she says. Link to post Share on other sites
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