I was a bad husband but I love her too much to let her go

[confused2much99]

My wife and I are both 30 and have been together since we were 16. We married at 18 and have two wonderfull children. I was a drunk for many of those years. We seperated many times because of it and she allways came back to me. I had my last drink on April 14th 2003. I was arrested for eluding police. I did 40 days in jail. My wife decided it was over at that point. She had an affair with a coworker while I was locked up. She tells me she needs some time to decide if she wants to be with me because she is worried that I will go back to drinking and neglect her like I did. She tells me she loves me but she won't say "I Love You" to me". We have been spending time together for that last 6 weeks and have made love many times. But everytime things are going good between us she distances herself from me. I really love her and I'm sober now and trying to get my life together. I feel like I should stay away until she decides. I'm tierd of being hurt, but I can't bring myself to do it. I miss her so much.

 

Any advise? I'll add more detail if anyone wants it.

[HokeyReligions]

You two were so young when you got together - neither of you have had a chance to really experience different kinds of relationships.

 

You also need to get your life together and KEEP it together -- that is going to take longer than a few months. Your wife is dealing with some serious trust issues and she needs time to heal.

 

The only advice I can offer is to separate. Stay in minimal touch with each other -- only what the kids require & make them your focus. Let yourselves grieve and grow as individuals. It doesn't have to mean that you will never be together again, but IF and when you do get together again, it will be better than before. But you might be surprised and each of you find a better life and a happier one without each other.