Marc Posted August 27, 2003 Share Posted August 27, 2003 Here goes. Me and my gf has been talkin for 2 years this Oct. We've known each other since we were kids and started talkin as friends and fell in love with each other and has been in love since then. The distance tends to get the best of us. Of course we knew what we were getting into b4 we started talkin, but despite that fact we kept goin. She grew up around people who put her down and obviously killed her self-esteem. We talk everynite about whats goin on at home and our life, we keep everything interesting and if we get tired talkin we fall asleep on the phone, you know. The problem is, she starts doubting her life, saying that she will never live to be with me, (practically gives up) she hates her life and how its goin, she hates her family cuz they dont treat her properly. I went to visit on her b-day and its true; her family shows no love toward each other. I need some help on what to say to make her feel better, her insecurity overwhelms me as well and I can’t sometimes deal with it. I don’t fall asleep cuz that’s just mean, I stay with her till she falls asleep knowing she felt alittle better to fall asleep. I stay awake beatin up myself cuz I dont know what to say. If I were with her I know this wouldnt be a factor, I cant help her from where I am physically. She lives in NY and Im in TX. Would someone please drop a line and shed some light on what I should say or do to make her feel better about her self, or something. I beg of you, and I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you very much --Marc Link to post Share on other sites
CaterpillarGirl Posted August 27, 2003 Share Posted August 27, 2003 It sounds like your girlfriend suffers from depression. In this case, you alone cannot "cheer her up" or make her realize how important/unique she is. This realization can only come from her, and probably only with the aid of a therapist or counselor. Please urge her to seek this help. My ex-bf suffered from similar problems. His lack of self-esteem was the major problem in our relationship. I naively thought that if I stayed with him, constantly reassuring him that he was attractive/lovable/worthy, he would eventually just become self-confident. Wrong. I became a crutch for his insecurity. Eventually, I told him he needed to seek professional help to deal with depression. We also took a break from our relationship, because until he could love himself, I truly believe he could never have loved me. He's now doing a lot better because of counseling, though I've moved away from getting back together with him. Tell your girlfriend you are supportive of her, you love her, but for the sake of your relationship, she needs to seek professional help. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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