Kitty161 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Hi......I am 27 years old and planning to marry a guy who is significantly older than me? What do you all say.. Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 i say, if you're in love. go for it, and good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 How do you feel when you're with him? Go with that My only caveat, at your age, would be that you've had a couple healthy relationships under your belt. A reality-check, as it were. Enjoy! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 How do you feel when you're with him? Go with that This I agree with. My only caveat, at your age, would be that you've had a couple healthy relationships under your belt. A reality-check, as it were. Meh, my mom married my Dad at 19 and he was her first relationship. They spent many happy years together before he passed away 2 years ago...it totally depends on the people involved. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Yes, but she has expressed concern to a wider audience. This speaks to her perspective and psychology. That was the impetus for my concerns. I had parents with similar experiences to yours. I've lived long enough to know that they cannot speak for all people, god bless them Link to post Share on other sites
Jaydee Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 What is the age gap? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kitty161 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 The gap is 15 years.....Jaydee Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Good litmus test....how do your friends feel about him? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 be prepared to face issues (re: sex and health) much earlier than you normally would with a partner closer in age with you. If you're planning on having kids, you also need to take into consideration how old he's going to be as THEY age. Then there are the differences in outlook that are based in experience ... none of these are "bad" things, just stuff you might not normally have had to consider, especially the health thing. my husband is 13 years older, and in some instances I've had to "mature" and adjust because of his health issues. However, I wouldn't trade him even on those days he makes my hair hurt, simply because of that added life experience he's got, you know? Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Hi......I am 27 years old and planning to marry a guy who is significantly older than me? What do you all say.. I think age differances matter less and less the older you get. If you were in your teens or early twenties, I might suggest you step back. However, at 27, you most likely have grown enough to know what you want and what you can handle. The only thing I would caution you on is children, if you plan on having any. After 40, a man's sperm quality decreases. He may still be able to have children, but his chances for having children with genetic problems increase and his chances for getting you pregnant decrease. You may have no problems at all, many don't. This is just something to consider. I'm curious, though. Why are you asking a group of strangers what they think on this? I would think if you really loved this guy, it wouldn't matter. Maybe your just a pratical person though and are thinking things through before you get hitched. Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyandfrustrated Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 All I can think of is being a vibrant 60-year-old woman pushing my broken 75-yr-old husband around in a wheelchair. At that age, the difference will be huge. Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 If you love the man, and he loves you, the years can be overcome. Generally, shared life experiences go in decades. But optimism about sharing a life together will trump any early adjustments. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Al_Bundy Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Hi......I am 27 years old and planning to marry a guy who is significantly older than me? What do you all say.. I'd say you'll be looking to divorce later on when you realize you are having sex with your grandpa. Link to post Share on other sites
Dominique Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Fifteen years I think is a great age difference. I think there should always be one. To the naysayers on this board---I still find younger-older sexier than ending up a roomate with your "brother". And to the comment about the wheelchair...Well, my 75 year old father takes five hour road trips, tends to an acre of land solo, swims, canoes, kayaks and goes boating, is sharp as a tack and still has really not visibly aged too much since his late 50s. So poo on you. Your guy is 42. That is a kid today. Have years and years of hot sex then years more. All that matters is that you are deeply in love with him DOM Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 From my research younger will always like older men, sometimes much older. Modern medicine has also shown that this difference in age provides many incidental benefits. If a man is happy in his relationship, he is very faithful and very loving to his partner. I'd actually say that men are much more mature when it comes to long term partnership than women are anyway. Lata Gata! Link to post Share on other sites
c-riouz Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I'd actually say that men are much more mature when it comes to long term partnership than women are anyway. And what exactly makes you think that? Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 From my research younger will always like older men, sometimes much older. Modern medicine has also shown that this difference in age provides many incidental benefits. Modern medicine also says that older men aren't as healthy as their younger counterparts and are just as much cause for diease in their off spring as older women. And while I think there can be attractive between older/younger people. I don't find it to be the norm or that any logical scienctific research as said that that's how it should be. Any medical information I have read have all around said that its best for men and women to have children in their peak. And their 40s, aren't peaks for either gender. Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Modern medicine also says that older men aren't as healthy as their younger counterparts and are just as much cause for diease in their off spring as older women. And while I think there can be attractive between older/younger people. I don't find it to be the norm or that any logical scienctific research as said that that's how it should be. Any medical information I have read have all around said that its best for men and women to have children in their peak. And their 40s, aren't peaks for either gender. I don't disagree with the health and children thing although that's not always the case, and I'm definitely not saying that's how it should be either. I'm just stating the obvious here, many younger women like older men, that's just the way it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I think that, at your age, a 15-yr age gap is no big deal... The problem is when you both get older.. I had almost 12 yr with my first ex.. he was older.. at one point... we became soooo different... When he'll be 60 and you'll be 45..you will find him to be too old for you.. because you'll be able to have guys in their late 30's.. I might be wrong.. but I think it's very improbable that you will have a long-term relationship with him.. but then I don't believe in long-term even for people the same age.. SO!!! go for it.. enjoy every second... life is too short.. Nevermind what people think... it's YOUR life.. and you're happy .. right? Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I'm just stating the obvious here, many younger women like older men, that's just the way it is. The majority of people in my life, friends, family and work-mates have married or are dating someone within their age range. *shrug*. I have to disagree with your assement. While i think younger women can like older men. I don't think it's tne norm. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 at one point... we became soooo different... When he'll be 60 and you'll be 45..you will find him to be too old for you.. there's the rub. While having a mature partner is fantastic in the very beginning, you need to realize that as you age, so does he. And he'll become a senior citizen much more quickly than you will, and it'll mess with his head. Or yours. Then there's the widening of the generation gap as he ages. If you're not prepared, you're gonna start freaking out about the fact that he's turning into a fussy old coot while you're still in your prime. Not that this is bad, just different. age difference isn't bad in and of itself, but you need to really, really need to be prepared for those differences to make themselves known the longer you stay together and as y'all age. I don't think it's a recipe for boredom, especially if your relationship has that kind of dynamic where you're both always learning, but it'll be a challenge when certain issues present themselves. Like waning sex drive on his end, and other health issues – sometimes you don't get those "years and years of hot sex," and you'll feel gypped. then of course, the baby issue. Will he want to start a family later in life? Will you be prepared to care for small children and a mate with health issues (if those come up)? Again, this isn't anything bad, but a challenge you wouldn't normally think about. Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 That basically, since in THIRTY YEARS you might have a codger for a husband that you should avoid the love you feel now for him. Sheesh! Nobody can predict the future both good and bad. What if a week after your wedding you get struck by a car and paralyzed? What should he do then? Abandon you? What if this? What if that? Maybe you ought to live your life to the fullest, putting in 100% of your effort to be happy and seeking happiness where you find it. Being ethical in your pursuit of it with whomever it is you connect yourself to. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
MegaMags Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I married my husband when I was 33 and he was 50. That was 25 years ago and we have a happy marriage. I do notice the difference now more than I did when we were younger but he is still a fit active and strong man. Our sex life became a problem about 10 years ago but that was because he got prostate cancer which is not necessarily age related. There is a lot more to a life partnership than an age difference. I think it helps to understand why you are attracted to an older man. Link to post Share on other sites
Jaydee Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 As glamorous as falling in love with an older man may seem, my advice is to tread carefully, and know what you’re in for over the long haul. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Hi......I am 27 years old and planning to marry a guy who is significantly older than me? What do you all say.. your reluctance is showing in the fact that you posted here. if you didn't have any reasons to wonder or question if it's the right thing... you wouldn't be here asking. soooo, why the reluctance? Link to post Share on other sites
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