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Never thought I would be the 'Other Man'

mrmatt

By mrmatt,
in The Other Man / Woman

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mrmatt

mrmatt

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Matt,

 

 

Fess up! any contact between you two lovebirds today??

I can honestly say no contact other than the email she sent, to which I did not reply. I talked to two other girls though, is that cheating on her?? :)
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mrmatt

mrmatt

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She just IMd me to say she missed me, but logged off right away. I didn't respond...of course I had no time to.

 

Thank goodness.

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angryyoungman70

angryyoungman70

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Hey MrMatt,

 

After reading about your situation and Stampdaddy's, I finally achieved some clarity and made the tough call I had to. I told my married "friend" that if she cares about me evern a smidgen, not to contact me. I felt fairly crappy about it yesterday when I did it, but today is a new day.

 

Best wishes.

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stampdaddy

stampdaddy

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She just IMd me to say she missed me, but logged off right away. I didn't respond...of course I had no time to.

 

Thank goodness.

 

 

She CAN'T do that Matt.. She doesnt have the "right" to ping your heart like that.. Cause look at how you REALLY feel inside right now, and be honest!! you have "hope" don't ya? You feel "better" too..

 

She can't do this anymore until she is free. Give me her number, and I will call her!!!:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

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mrmatt

mrmatt

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Please note, there is no response from me. I won't lie and say I wasn't dying to respond.

 

Her: miss u so bad baby

Her: i'm thinking, ****, i'm a lunatic, but then you already know that, don't you. So I guess it would be typical behaviour for me to sign in and out like a lune. Just wanted to look at your pictures.

Her: your friend is very smart, but then again, so am I. I told you to do this a long time ago

Her: which I can only see it working

Her: cause I'll tell you what, I will not live life without you

Her: bye sweetheart

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mrmatt

mrmatt

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She CAN'T do that Matt.. She doesnt have the "right" to ping your heart like that.. Cause look at how you REALLY feel inside right now, and be honest!! you have "hope" don't ya? You feel "better" too..

 

She can't do this anymore until she is free. Give me her number, and I will call her!!!:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

 

I don't know if I want you calling her :), based on your twinkie comments.:)

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stampdaddy

stampdaddy

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Hey MrMatt,

 

After reading about your situation and Stampdaddy's, I finally achieved some clarity and made the tough call I had to. I told my married "friend" that if she cares about me evern a smidgen, not to contact me. I felt fairly crappy about it yesterday when I did it, but today is a new day.

 

Best wishes.

 

atta boy!! stick with it man, let's form a Posse.. Maybe we can all get together one weekend and the "Posse" can go hunting for some.., oh nevermind...

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stampdaddy

stampdaddy

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I don't know if I want you calling her :), based on your twinkie comments.:)

 

 

yeah, I don't blame you... I am weak and fragile right now and just need a hug...

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IfWishesWereHorses

IfWishesWereHorses

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I don't know if I want you calling her :), based on your twinkie comments.:)

 

:lmao::lmao: That's the first laugh I've had all day!

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mrmatt

mrmatt

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I am weak and fragile right now and just need a hug...

 

Yeah, me too. I talked to two girls yesterday. I feel kind of bad about it because in a way, I feel like I'm CHEATING ON HER. How pathetic is THAT?

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angryyoungman70

angryyoungman70

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atta boy!! stick with it man, let's form a Posse.. Maybe we can all get together one weekend and the "Posse" can go hunting for some.., oh nevermind...

 

:p I like the idea of that!!!!!

 

however...ahem....I have a date tonight. And NOT with MW. Funny thing is, my date's last 3 r's were with MM, until she found out that they were!

 

Cheers!

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stampdaddy

stampdaddy

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Yeah, me too. I talked to two girls yesterday. I feel kind of bad about it because in a way, I feel like I'm CHEATING ON HER. How pathetic is THAT?

 

pretty dang pathetic... BUT, I know the feeling very much.. and it IS ridiculous. Um, hi, my name is Stamp-a-licious, what is yours?? (**guilt building, palms sweating, this is'nt right.... OH, but wait!! MW is crawling into bed with her H.. "goodnight honey") Stupid, weak, ridiculous, spineless, so yes, PATHETIC

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mrmatt

mrmatt

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She sent this :

 

Her: I could come on here, and talk and talk and talk, and unless you block my butt, you would more than likely read it. That's not my point, this is: I can talk and talk and say things, and if you don't reply back, I will always think I am right.

Which I always think I am right anyways

however, you will not tell me I am wrong, so in my pea brain, I will be right

this is so awesome

because I will always be smart

like you can be Pinky

and I will be The Brain

yep, totally works for me

sweetheart, have a good weekend.

I was making dinner last night, crying and crying and praying to god that you could feel me. To just give you some kind of sign that I was thinking of you.

And sweetheart.

Thankyou for not talking to me

it will make me move faster in our direction

bye

 

Then, I 'blocked her butt'.

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Owl

Owl

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MATT...you are DA MAN!!!

 

You're moving in the right direction...absolutely moving in the right direction.

 

Now...what other means of communication is she likely to take when she suddenly starts to lose her resolve?

 

Email? Txt?

 

Have you got a plan to block those too?

 

Seriously...WTG!

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stampdaddy

stampdaddy

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She sent this :

 

 

 

Then, I 'blocked her butt'.

 

 

DO you know how many times

  • "doing the dishes", crying
  • "cooking dinner", crying
  • "putting the girls to sleep", crying
  • "laying in bed (next to H)", crying
  • "hearing a song", crying
  • "driving the car", crying
  • "reading a magazine", crying
  • "Praying to God", crying

and a 100 others I have heard over the years...? I believe that she was, but is she crying TODAY?? maybe, but she is still at home, and WE have been destroyed. The last time I saw her, she cried, and she KNEW it was over for us.. A song going through her head all of the time at the end, "Drink, to all that we have lost..." She crawled back into her families den, where she will stay... watching me walk away...

 

Again Matt, none of us know what your MW is going to do, but you CAN NOT be concerned about it and you can't give her the opportunity to send you these "I miss you's", "I thought about you and cried".. They are ONLY for her. They keep HER content that she was able to tell you these things, BEFORE SHE GOES TO SLEEP NEXT TO ANOTHER MAN...

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mrmatt

mrmatt

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DO you know how many times

  • "doing the dishes", crying
  • "cooking dinner", crying
  • "putting the girls to sleep", crying
  • "laying in bed (next to H)", crying
  • "hearing a song", crying
  • "driving the car", crying
  • "reading a magazine", crying
  • "Praying to God", crying

and a 100 others I have heard over the years...? I believe that she was, but is she crying TODAY?? maybe, but she is still at home, and WE have been destroyed. The last time I saw her, she cried, and she KNEW it was over for us.. A song going through her head all of the time at the end, "Drink, to all that we have lost..." She crawled back into her families den, where she will stay... watching me walk away...

 

Again Matt, none of us know what your MW is going to do, but you CAN NOT be concerned about it and you can't give her the opportunity to send you these "I miss you's", "I thought about you and cried".. They are ONLY for her. They keep HER content that she was able to tell you these things, BEFORE SHE GOES TO SLEEP NEXT TO ANOTHER MAN...

 

Thanks...I'm still trying to figure out what all my boundaries are. I'm not sure if it is 'enough' for her to just say those things, knowing I 'might' read them. She may resort to email, which I suppose I can block.

 

If I go truly NC, then that would not give her a mechanism to get in touch with me at all. Given that I still WANT HER IF SHE LEAVES HIM, how do I set up a scenario that prevents her from contacting me but still leaves an avenue to let me know she has left?

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stampdaddy

stampdaddy

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Thanks...I'm still trying to figure out what all my boundaries are. I'm not sure if it is 'enough' for her to just say those things, knowing I 'might' read them. She may resort to email, which I suppose I can block.

 

If I go truly NC, then that would not give her a mechanism to get in touch with me at all. Given that I still WANT HER IF SHE LEAVES HIM, how do I set up a scenario that prevents her from contacting me but still leaves an avenue to let me know she has left?

 

I hear you, I do.. I havent "blocked" mine either, but it's just because she knows where I live (as this was supposed to be OUR house), and there is no point... We didnt email or IM anyway, we just were together everyday.. It is a tough spot you are in, so all you can do is DEMAND of her NOT to contact you at all, UNLESS she is completely done over there.. No if, ands or buts.. It should be no more that a 20-30 word conversation, "look MW, HONOR what I am demanding of you, to NOT contact me AT ALL, unless you have completely become available to me"

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mrmatt

mrmatt

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I hear you, I do.. I havent "blocked" mine either, but it's just because she knows where I live (as this was supposed to be OUR house), and there is no point... We didnt email or IM anyway, we just were together everyday.. It is a tough spot you are in, so all you can do is DEMAND of her NOT to contact you at all, UNLESS she is completely done over there.. No if, ands or buts.. It should be no more that a 20-30 word conversation, "look MW, HONOR what I am demanding of you, to NOT contact me AT ALL, unless you have completely become available to me"

 

I know she'll resort to email, so I'm setting up an auto-responder that says this...Does it sound reasonable?

 

SUBJECT : Matt Is Not Taking Your Email

BODY :

*** THIS IS AN AUTOMATED RESPONSE ***

I will not be accepting or reading email from you until you are ready

for me/us. When you are ready, send a text message to xxx-xxx-xxxx

with the words 'I HAVE LEFT HIM' or 'I HAVE FILED'. All other text

messages will be automatically deleted.

 

I'm sorry, this is the only way I know how to save my heart.

 

Matt

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stampdaddy

stampdaddy

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I know she'll resort to email, so I'm setting up an auto-responder that says this...Does it sound reasonable?

 

 

Sounds "reasonable" to me, but others will tell you the words, "when you have left or when you have filed" will mean that she will contact you when or if it has at least been "talked about", which is NO WHERE close to being officially getting divorced...

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Owl

Owl

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Matt, didn't you mention that she's geographically remote from you?

 

Doesn't live anywhere near you?

 

If so...this is relatively simple.

 

Go complete and total NC with her...with the explanation that if she's ever COMPLETELY divorced and free...she can show up on your doorstep.

 

No way she's doing that on the spur of the moment, or without her H's knowledge (hopefully).

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Owl

Owl

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I know she'll resort to email, so I'm setting up an auto-responder that says this...Does it sound reasonable?

 

That depends...will that responder still let the email land in your inbox?

 

NC means not receiving any contact from her.

 

Email=contact.

 

Ergo...nope, this won't work if you can still see her attempts at contact...see my previous post on how to let her back once she's divorced.

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stampdaddy

stampdaddy

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Matt, didn't you mention that she's geographically remote from you?

 

Doesn't live anywhere near you?

 

If so...this is relatively simple.

 

Go complete and total NC with her...with the explanation that if she's ever COMPLETELY divorced and free...she can show up on your doorstep.

 

No way she's doing that on the spur of the moment, or without her H's knowledge (hopefully).

 

The Polka King is right... Small price for her to pay if she REALLY loves you and wants you.. a 3 day weekend to "re-connect"..

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