brother dating a abused and recovering drug addict

[Kay24]

First of all i would like to say thank god i found this website and hopefully you guys can help out. My brother (19) has been dating this girl (21) for about a month now. SHe is a recovering drug addict for 2 years.

 

Recently we had a party for the family and my brother decided to invite his girlfriend. Not even a hour later of her being there she was totally

intoxicated from the all the alcohol she was drinking. She could barely stand. This was not good impression to the family especially to my parents.

 

I decided to speak to my brother about his girlfriend but he refused to listen to me or to my parents. We just found out that this girl was not only a recovering drug addict. She was sexually abused by her father from the age of 6 right until the age of 10 and she was engaged for 3 years.

My brother says he really loves this girl and he is having a hard time getting over her past.He says he is stuck between her past and wanting to be with her for life and everybody being against him is only making it worst.

 

I am not a person to judge anyone and my heart goes out to her especially with the fact that she had to deal with her father abusing her. What bothers me is that ... i dont think she takes life seriously. If she is a recovering drug addict is it ok to drink? being engaged for 3 years is she ready for a relationship? or is she just using my brother?

 

Please help!!

[Geishawhelk]

At the end of the day - this is none of your business.

Leave her alone.

Your brother will have to deal with his own issues, and she, with hers.

Realise that nobody outside the situation can actually 'fix' anything.

Let him know that you are fully supportive of him, amd that if he needs you, you'll be there for him.

 

Then step away, and be there if needed.

Thi is simple, but by no means easy.

However, there isn't realistically anything else you CAN do.