What are the costs? How often do you go?

[EMBeee]

Hi everyone, I was just curious... how often do you go to see your LD lover? Every month? Every 3 months?

 

Do you drive? Fly? Ride a bus?

 

Do you have children involved? If so, what do you do with your kids... do you bring them along or send them to there other parent?

 

How far away are you from your lover?

 

Does it get very costly? And if so, what's the cheapest means of transportation?

 

The reason I ask is because my LD bf and I have decided that the cheapest means of seeing each other is through driving our vehicles. We bring a friend along with us and that cuts the cost in half... he just came to visit me and brought a friend... they spent only $120 in gas one way - so... only $240 round trip.... only thing is it's 1,200 miles to drive one way.

 

We've tried to manage going to see each other at least once a month or once every other month. The plane ride is getting costly, but the car ride is getting long.

 

So..... I'm just curious how others handle their visits with their LD lovers. I'd like to get some input on this and maybe get some of your ideas to make new ones for myself and my LD bf

 

Thanks much and I can't wait to hear all the creative and different ways each of you has for visiting one another!

[strongertoday]

well it was...

 

12,000+ miles (wales UK to Australia).....flights ranging in cost from $AU1300 to $AU3200 (never fly to London when Wimbleton is on)...... bus(1 hr), fly(22 hrs inc stop over), bus(2 hrs) ...... We were planning on every 3-4 months tho after I left last time he quit his job and is moving down here.

 

We are both lucky we have well paying jobs but even so we have spent over $10,000 on the two trips and associated costs.

 

It was worth every penny....We will never die rich but boy will we die happy...in 50 years or so

 

Only 6 days and he moves down here for good

 

WOOO HOOOOO

[taiko]

Flying halfway around the world to the Philippines once/twice a year. During Christmas and the Holy Season prices spike up. I have to be careful because the traditional norther hemisphere summer is the rainy season there. I got caught by a killer typoon during an emergency trip.

 

The actual total cost, airfare and housing for two weeks was competetive with a long weekend in Las Vegas

[konfuzd]

I see my bf every 4-6 weeks. He's roughly 1,000 miles away. He typically visits me, since his best friend is also in my city. He generally drives down, but is flying next week.

 

I have gone to visit him twice and both times, I flew. With the instability of the economy and airlines lately, flights can be anywhere from $99-$450 one way. The most I spent to see him was $590 for a 5 day trip.

 

Driving is cheaper and more convenient, but eats up a lot of time you could be together and is not as pleasant as flying.

[EMBeee]

I agree with you konfuzd... driving is NOT very pleasant at all... all though it is nice to see parts of the world by taking a scenic drive... it just gets old and long after a while. Driving does take up alot of time that you could spend with one another.

 

My bf came up to see me last week. He drove with a friend and it only cost them $120 one way. I am now going to see him next month (3 weeks to be exact) I am also bringing a friend who is now conveniently seeing his friend that he brought up here with him and so I am driving with her to see my man and her to see hers. I am very excited but also very nervous because it's a 20 hour drive and we're taking turns straight through. We're only going to be there for a whole week. I wish it could be longer. If only plane tickets would go back down in price instead of up! LOL

[Island Girl]

Hi everyone, I was just curious... how often do you go to see your LD lover? Every month? Every 3 months?

 

Twice in the last 6 years. Once for 1 week in 2003. Once for 3 weeks when we were married in 2006.

 

Do you drive? Fly? Ride a bus?

 

Fly -- he is on an island in the South Pacific so it is impossible to drive.

 

Do you have children involved? If so, what do you do with your kids... do you bring them along or send them to there other parent?

 

No children involved.

 

How far away are you from your lover?

 

5600 miles.

 

Does it get very costly? And if so, what's the cheapest means of transportation?

 

Extremely expensive both to travel there and stay there. And the only mode of transportation is flying.

 

The reason I ask is because my LD bf and I have decided that the cheapest means of seeing each other is through driving our vehicles. We bring a friend along with us and that cuts the cost in half... he just came to visit me and brought a friend... they spent only $120 in gas one way - so... only $240 round trip.... only thing is it's 1,200 miles to drive one way.

 

That is lucky for you -- that it is 1) possible to travel by car 2) that you have friends willing to share the expense

 

We've tried to manage going to see each other at least once a month or once every other month. The plane ride is getting costly, but the car ride is getting long.

 

what I wouldn't give for a long car ride where at the end we get to see each other! I guess it is in the eye of the beholder but I'd consider yourselves lucky and continue to give thanks during that "long" car ride.

 

By plane my husband is over 14 hours away...

[EMBeee]

Hi there... I feel bad that you've only seen each other 2 in the last 6 years! I guess that makes me appreciate what I have and I really shouldn't complain about the car drive since he and I are both in the same country to say the least!

 

Well... best wishes to you and I hope that you get to see each other real soon!!!! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[Island Girl]

Thank you for the hugs! Back at you {{{{{hugs}}}}

 

I always consider the two of us lucky that we found 'the needle in a haystack' or rather the one person on the planet who gives as much as they take, who loves as much as the other, who respects the other and has the ability to stand by commitments made and not be swayed by the momentary gratification of someone who is just there so a person is not "alone".

 

We do not consider ourselves alone at any time because although not physically present so others can see we are present to each other in ways you can't see that are so much more important IMO.

 

[taiko]

Thank you for the hugs! Back at you {{{{{hugs}}}}

 

I always consider the two of us lucky that we found 'the needle in a haystack' or rather the one person on the planet who gives as much as they take, who loves as much as the other, who respects the other and has the ability to stand by commitments made and not be swayed by the momentary gratification of someone who is just there so a person is not "alone".

 

We do not consider ourselves alone at any time because although not physically present so others can see we are present to each other in ways you can't see that are so much more important IMO.

 

 

I feel for the two of you. 6 years seem like an abnormally long time. Were visas disapproved or is some kind of work/school situation keeping you apart if you don't mind my asking?

[Island Girl]

I feel for the two of you. 6 years seem like an abnormally long time. Were visas disapproved or is some kind of work/school situation keeping you apart if you don't mind my asking?

 

We weren't married until 2006 -- already separated by then 3 1/2 years.

 

Then we planned on filing the paperwork directly at the embassy but there was a coup in Fiji two days before my flight to go.

 

So we regrouped and planned on going again within 4-5 months but the embassy then wouldn't accept the paperwork citing a new law passed in Jan 2007. The law does not apply to us but arguing the point may have meant a denial so we filed through California May of 2007.

 

There is the verification that the marriage is valid (that is completed but took them quite a while) and then it goes to visa processing here in the US. It stayed there in process until they figure out he is not in this country, then they forward it to the embassy for processing. That is what is finally happening now. Fiji should have it in November we're told - and then they send a notice for the interview.

[taiko]

We weren't married until 2006 -- already separated by then 3 1/2 years.

 

Then we planned on filing the paperwork directly at the embassy but there was a coup in Fiji two days before my flight to go.

 

So we regrouped and planned on going again within 4-5 months but the embassy then wouldn't accept the paperwork citing a new law passed in Jan 2007. The law does not apply to us but arguing the point may have meant a denial so we filed through California May of 2007.

 

There is the verification that the marriage is valid (that is completed but took them quite a while) and then it goes to visa processing here in the US. It stayed there in process until they figure out he is not in this country, then they forward it to the embassy for processing. That is what is finally happening now. Fiji should have it in November we're told - and then they send a notice for the interview.

 

Are you making another trip? If memory serves the last meet has to be within two years but if anyone canget a waiver it should be you two. On the other hand they alreadty sent it to the embassy I guess you're ok.

 

We lost 18 months to the actions of a corrupt government official 20 years ago. He got killed as Marcos went into exile. Once lthe interview was schduled everything went fast.

 

Your story does remind me of a screwball Filipino comedy. Her visa to Australia was destroyed during the revolution but in the end she was reunited with her husband and daughter, it just took 20 years for true love to win in the movie.

[Island Girl]

Are you making another trip? If memory serves the last meet has to be within two years but if anyone canget a waiver it should be you two. On the other hand they alreadty sent it to the embassy I guess you're ok.

 

within 2 years of the paperwork being filed I believe. And we filed the paperwork 8 months after last visit (due to the embassy foul up - we have since found out that the law they were citing as the reason why they couldn't accept the paperwork was not enacted until October of 2007 and has since been challenged as unconstitutional to boot).

 

Our attorney has not stated anything about the visit within 2 years - so I think we're okay...eeeeeeeeek

 

And thank you for saying if anyone should get a visa we should. I feel that way let's just hope the US Immigration officials feel the exact same way. I wonder how many people really are together as long as we have been and stick with the process as long as we have.

 

Hopefully they will also note that due to erroneous information directly from the embassy, the process has been longer, more costly, and more arduous than it ever should have been.

 

We lost 18 months to the actions of a corrupt government official 20 years ago. He got killed as Marcos went into exile. Once lthe interview was scheduled everything went fast.

 

I am glad once the interview was scheduled it went faster. That gives me even more hope that this torture really will be over soon.

 

Your story does remind me of a screwball Filipino comedy. Her visa to Australia was destroyed during the revolution but in the end she was reunited with her husband and daughter, it just took 20 years for true love to win in the movie.

 

OMG. 20 years!! How terrible! I really hope that 6 years will be enough! And no more tragic circumstances. lol I really can't take it - my hair has begun to fall out due to so many years of such stress as it is. I'd hate to see what I'd look like 14 years from now!

[Maggs]

My BF and I live approximately 4500 km apart. Our only option is to fly as I live in Canada and he lives in the UK. We usually see each other every 3-4 months for a couple of weeks. We've only been LD for 8 months and spent our first year living in the same country. Depending on the time of year, flights are usually between $900-$1100 CAN and when he comes here we often stay at a hotel for a couple of nights and he rents a car which sets us back another $500-$600. We split the costs pretty much 50/50. When I go there, we stay at his house.

 

He has a son from a past relationship who lives with his mother. When I'm over there, we always have him at the house with us for a few days.

[j_hunt_12]

We both travel, so this will be complicated. Therefore, I will put it in a list:

 

-Us together abroad, where we met - free

-Us meeting in D.C., while she lives in New York and I am returning from abroad - $200 round-way ticket

-Her flying to my home in S.C. from New York - $400 round-way

-Me flying to her home abroad - $1400 (upcoming)

-Seeing your beloved (and/or the sex) - Priceless

 

Sorry, couldn't resist the corny joke. This will all be in about a 1.5 year time period, and, as you can see, it is pretty expensive, but completely worth it. We try to visit as long as possible (this upcoming trip will be one month long), and we live with our families most of the time to save money. The trips are absolutely amazing and you really don't need advise, because it will be really easy and a great time. From what I've heard and seen, short LD visits are almost always all fun and no difficulty. If you are serious about each other though, you should try to make the trips as long as you can, so that you can be together long enough to see the bads along with the goods. Also, saying "goodbye" is always incredibly hard, especially when one of you cries, but it also does get a little easier once you've done it a few times. Make sure you have video skype so you can look forward to seeing each other once you return back to your home or wherever else you are going.

 

Good luck

 

P.S. I'm 21, she's 20. No kids. We live, in theory, approx. 6000 miles apart, but we move around so it changes. A plane is the cheapest, easiest way for us.

[crimsonrose]

I fly to him twiec a year. tickets cost between 1500-2000 dollars depending on the time im flying to him. i stay for a couple of weeks at a time.

[Karina_Nicole]

Wow. I guess this post makes me appreciate the fact that my boyfriend is 600 miles away. Never thought I would say that though!!!

 

We used to be able to fly once a month for $119 round trip..but now it is more like $240 round trip. We still manage to do that at least once a month..and actually he just drove to VA to visit me for the weekend Then he will be flying to have Thanksgiving with my family, then I will be up in MI after finals and Christmas next month!!!!

 

Thank goodness he graduated and has a good job now to pay for all the travel expenses while I am still in school!!