SarahT111 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Hey I need some advice on my LD situation again! Sorry to be a pain but im new to all this! Anyway to be very brief my bf is a bit moody and not so good with communication! He is veery busy all the time!!! I find it very hard not getting much contact, he is always far to busy for me to ring so I have to text. As i have mentioned earlier I get about 4 or 5 txts a day sometimes with hours in between as he is so busy! I no he really does have a lot on but im finding it hard on me! I have tried to bring it up and he does say hes trying so I backed away again. I defiantly dont want to come one to strong and freak him out! He had orgainised to come up and see me for a week today. Previously he has been a bit moody and grumpy at me all week just giving me one word answers. He has been a bit sick so I guess I understand it just has been really upsetting me that hes been making no effort with me! He told me last night that he couldnt come and see me anymore as his work wont let him take the weekend off anymore!!! He said he cant come up for a while as he is so busy at the moment! Anyway I have been givn the advice to back away for a while and make him miss me. I have been told by a few friends to just step away and let him text me or find the time to phone me instead of it always being me. Is this wise? I dont want to play silly games but I feel I have tried everything else. I almost feel like I should pull away for a bit as I feel so strongly for him and this makes me depressed when I dont hear from him or he cancels trips! I dont know what to do, I feel sad all the time and turn in to a crazy angry gf when he finally does get in contact! How do I back off and not go nuts!!! Hope this makes a bit of sense to someone! Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 "Absence is to Love what wind is to Fire: It enflmes the great, and extinguishes the small." I get the impression that this raging inferno you're seeing, is a dwindling little campfire in his eyes.... Follow your friends' advice. And get out more..... Link to post Share on other sites
konfuzd Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Absence is to Love what wind is to Fire: It enflmes the great, and extinguishes the small." That, and it really blows! Sorry, you're going through this. Geisha is right, you need to get out more. Not to get his attention back, but to live your life to it's fullest. If you're out doing that, you'll hardly notice the frequency of calls, you'll be more relaxed when you do talk to him, and you'll have more to talk about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SarahT111 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Share Posted October 23, 2008 Thanks so much for your advice! Your right I do need to get out more and just forget about him! So took your advice on board and didnt contact him all day, then went out at night. I finally contacted him when I got home with a quick txt to say goodnight and he bombarded me with replies! So I guess thats the way it will have to be now even tho its really hard on me!! Thnks again for your help! Link to post Share on other sites
addictingpancake Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 i wish that advice would work for me >.< i've tried doing it, and then he does miss me.. but he's only excited to see me again for like 5 minutes, then he's back to his old self.. sometimes he'll apologize for not talking very much.. but that isn't very comforting after hearing it billions of times.. any ideas on what i should do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SarahT111 Posted October 24, 2008 Author Share Posted October 24, 2008 i wish that advice would work for me >.< i've tried doing it, and then he does miss me.. but he's only excited to see me again for like 5 minutes, then he's back to his old self.. sometimes he'll apologize for not talking very much.. but that isn't very comforting after hearing it billions of times.. any ideas on what i should do? I have exactally the same problem!!! I have no idea what to do!!! When i do try and approach him about it hes says that im overthinging things and I just need to calm down! Its soo annoying for me and I get really upset over it! He is quite comfortable to go days without contacting me yet I hate just going hours not talking! Hes cancelled a few trips to come and see me because he is so busy and he doesn't really seem that excited on planning more! For me I would go and see him any possible time I could find a gap in my studies and I get so excited about seeing him! Maybe he does feel the same way but he never ever shows it and his typical one word grumpy answers really dont really help. Hes been like this since I have known him. His previous gf lived about 5 hours drive away and he would see her like every 4 months (if that) even when he was on holiday! They would txt briefly but nothing to much. Hes quite lazy in realtionships and is happy to sit back and let others do all the work. I dont want to change him as firstly thats proving impossible and I dont want to ever change a person, I just want ways to cope with it as I get so depressed! I dont want to come across as needy and annoying! I want to be the carefree girl he went for in the first place its just so hard for me to do! Link to post Share on other sites
addictingpancake Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 I dont want to change him as firstly thats proving impossible and I dont want to ever change a person, I just want ways to cope with it as I get so depressed! I dont want to come across as needy and annoying! that's how i feel.. i don't want him to become somebody different.. i just don't want to be so depressed all the time.. i have absolutely no idea how to get over it. and sadly he is not helping me feel better about this.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SarahT111 Posted October 24, 2008 Author Share Posted October 24, 2008 Wow I feel 100% the same way! Hve long have you been together? I have no idea how to get over this but I no that something has to change as I cant go on feeling sad all the time. I feel as unhappy as I would if I have broken up with him. It just doesn't feel like im in a relationship at all! Which is insane because I have a great guy and all I can do is feel depressed and come to loveshack and moan about it. Maybe I am the problem? Link to post Share on other sites
addictingpancake Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 we've been together for 10 months.. i just made my own thread to try and get advice.. hopefully it works.. sometimes i think that maybe it would be better if we did break up.. but i know that i wouldn't be able to handle that.. idk what i'd do without him. he suggested taking a break the other day when i was telling him how i felt.. i started crying so much.. but he has no idea.. we didn't go on the break.. i wouldn't allow that.. i would just break up instead.. cause by breaking it seems like you're just ignoring the problem and waiting for it to go away.. i'd rather try to work it out.. don't think that it is your fault. now maybe it is, in which case it's my fault that i'm putting myself through the same sadness.. but our bf's, at least mine, isn't making me feel any better.. so they, or mine, is at least partially to blame for this situation. don't put all the blame on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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