The Crutch, Life Preserver, Safety Net, the Rebound.

[DeePee]

I was having a discussion with a friend of mine about these past girls I've been seeing, and how lately I've been fed the "you're a great guy... but" line.

 

My post only applies to those who get "involved" but suddenly decide they need to back off and cut any relationship short. We'll ignore those who just wanted to be young, free, and not have a relationship (cause their intentions are never confused and both participants know what's going on.) Well, my friend brought up a very interesting point. Each of these confused girls had a hangup related to their past relationship in some way. Either they were cheated on, abruptly left alone while still deeply in love, or something similar. At least most of them had some sort of similar hang up.

 

That said, the guys they date (i.e. me, and many of you other nice guys) are their crutch. We're a simple life preserver to get them "over" their hangup... if not get over it, at least preoccupy these girls with attention and "safe" affection. They know we're good guys, cause we're gentlemenly, kind, sweet, sincere. We're safe. These girls think they like us (or maybe they do), but whatever relationship we have can't go beyond short term.

 

Why? We're just that. A short term thing for them to get their heads clear. Yes, we're attractive to them. We are fun to be with. We're probably everything they'd want in a man. However, the problem lies with their mindset. These girls are emotionally damaged in someway, haven't resolved their issues, and at this moment they cannot cope with being with a good guy. They still pine over, feel hurt, confused about what happened with their ex, wish things were different, and try so hard to move on but can't. So, in essence, our relationships with them are doomed from the start. We're merely there as their crutch until they realize what they're doing and end things. No matter how good it seemed, things weren't what they were. Sure, we may have been genuine and sincere in our actions and thoughts. But, these girls never understood what they wanted, needed, or could deal with. Their vacation from loneliness and pain was nice, but in the end their ex-bf was still lingering around in their mind.

 

The problem is, these girls were broken up for a long time... months to years. Yet, they still let their ex-bf occupy their heads somehow. So, it's not the rebound guy, in the traditional sense. I got to stop being attracted to the damsel in distress/hopeless romantic. Can I just meet a sensible, reciprocating woman?

 

Sad, but I feel like this is true. What do you guys think?