goodguy15 Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 My girlfriend of 3 years almost 3 years in December.I mentioned that I'm the guy of her dreams but I just don't like the idea of her agreeing with me. Because I know she isn't the girl of my dreams cause she isn't perfect.How am I supposed to feel jumping with joy or what not.Then she tells me I should get her a flower out of the blue sometime but that stuff comes naturally to a guy.That wasn't right.It's just that i feel out of place that I am the guy of her dreams but then it's like why me?Why couldn't I meet some other girl that's prettier looking than the girlfriend I have now.I look around seeing guys with prettier women than I am with right now.It just boggles my mind.It just sucks to be stuck in this cheesy fantasy bull crap. When i was young i thought to myself like 15 years old i had a crush on a real cute girl from school but i was too shy to ask her out because of it. I just think to myself, what could of been if I asked her out.my whole life is just messed up because god doesn't want me have the person I've always wanted. And now I have resentment towards my love life.It makes me want to cry. Quote
endlesstrains Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 You know, someone doesn't have to be perfect to be the right person for you. There is no such thing as a perfect person. Your girlfriend doesn't think you are perfect-- if you were PERFECT, you'd get her flowers exactly when she wanted them and she'd never have to mention it to you. But no one is perfect. What she means is that she is happy with you and that you fulfill her needs and desires to the extent that makes her feel that you are good for her. Now, if you are truly not attracted to her, that's another issue. You shouldn't continue a relationship if you really aren't satisfied with it and aren't sexually attracted to your mate. But she doesn't have to look perfect to be attractive to you. Loving someone makes them look like the most beautiful person in the world, even if they are objectively average. And honestly, step back and look at yourself-- do you feel like you should have a more attractive girl because that is what you see in pornography and the movies, or is it because you think you are more attractive than your girlfriend? I don't know what you look like, but a lot of average or even kind of homely guys seem to think they deserve a hot girlfriend just because. Be honest about what range you are in. Quote
Vertex Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 If you feel absolutely no physical attraction, that's one thing. But if you're just feeling "grass-is-greener" syndrome, be wary. Quote
westrock Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 my whole life is just messed up because god doesn't want me have the person I've always wanted. Describe the kind of person you have always wanted. Quote
Shygirl15 Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 So how did you end up dating her for 3 years if you're not physically attracted to her? And it's only today I was preached that physical attractiveness is not an important factor at all, damn..lol Quote
Author goodguy15 Posted October 24, 2008 Author Posted October 24, 2008 You know, someone doesn't have to be perfect to be the right person for you. There is no such thing as a perfect person. Your girlfriend doesn't think you are perfect-- if you were PERFECT, you'd get her flowers exactly when she wanted them and she'd never have to mention it to you. But no one is perfect. What she means is that she is happy with you and that you fulfill her needs and desires to the extent that makes her feel that you are good for her. Now, if you are truly not attracted to her, that's another issue. You shouldn't continue a relationship if you really aren't satisfied with it and aren't sexually attracted to your mate. But she doesn't have to look perfect to be attractive to you. Loving someone makes them look like the most beautiful person in the world, even if they are objectively average. And honestly, step back and look at yourself-- do you feel like you should have a more attractive girl because that is what you see in pornography and the movies, or is it because you think you are more attractive than your girlfriend? I don't know what you look like, but a lot of average or even kind of homely guys seem to think they deserve a hot girlfriend just because. Be honest about what range you are in. I know that nobody is perfect.I just find it bizarre that both of my guy friends have prettier girlfriends than I do and it makes feel like I'm not good enough for anybody else.I see allot of pretty women around my age and they just ignore me like I'm not there when I'm not with my girlfriend And I'm like why? I am more attractive than my girlfriend shes totally attracted to me but I'm not all that attracted to her sexually because I just don't see us having kids at all.Theres gotta be one more person and she'll be the one. Quote
Author goodguy15 Posted October 24, 2008 Author Posted October 24, 2008 Describe the kind of person you have always wanted. Likes to play sports, hiking, riding bikes, jogging. My girlfriend has trouble doing those things because she has cerebral palsy.She can only watch me play and it's not the same without her out there.I like a girl with light brown hair, green eyes, athletic, movies, haunted houses, music, family, partying stuff like that.Go to baseball games, football games etc. Quote
carhill Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t145860/ Quote
Shygirl15 Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t145860/ Wow. This has really been troubling you for a while now. I didn't know.. You need to take some serious steps then. Quote
rod_in_gtown Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 You have continously posted about this woman. and time and time again you constantly complain on how you don't want to spend more than just a little time with her and how you don't like it when she gets upset because you see her a little more than twice a week, she's more and more into you and you struggle to just be with her. You're just not that into her, I've said it before and I'll say it again, you should move one and get together with a person that makes you want to be with her, not a person that makes is a chore for you to be with her. Quote
Trimmer Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 My girlfriend of 3 years almost 3 years in December. I mentioned that I'm the guy of her dreams but I just don't like the idea of her agreeing with me.... When you say that she agrees with you, are you saying that you actually told her "I'm the guy of your dreams..."? Or that you just believe that you are, but are uncomfortable that she feels the same way? If you're this ambivalent about your relationship with her, and you actually said that directly to her, then I don't know what to tell you; you only made things worse on yourself... Quote
Geishawhelk Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 What's the Pay-off....? You've been complaining for ages, about the smae thing, yet you're still there (complaining about the same thing) yet you've done absolutely nothing at all about it. What's your pay-off..? Something inside you is compelling you to stay. Is it pity for her? Do you feel bad for her? Does it make you look like the kind guy whose GF has cerbral palsy but he's stuck by her through thick and thin.....? What's your payoff? Because inspite of your long-term protests and dissatisfaction, you're still there. So there MUST be something in the relationship from which you derive benefit. Whatever it is, however minor or flawed it is - find the Payoff. Then when you know what it is - deal with it. Quote
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