addictingpancake Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 i'm very sorry that this is so long, but i don't have many opportunities to share how i feel.. so i have to take advantage of them as they come. about my LDR: i met him online (some people probably think this is weird.. but it wasn't my choice..i fell in love and couldn't help it) my family and friends don't know about him cause there's no way my parents would allow me to talk to somebody i met on the internet.. and most friends would find it weird, so i don't really have anybody irl to talk to, which adds to the stress. i've known him for about 2 1/2 yrs, and tomorrow we will have been together for 10 months ^.^ yes.. i'm only 17, if you think that's too young.. get over it cause i am o.O when i graduate from hs in may 2009, i'm going to drive to him, then bring him back to florida with me, where i'm going to go to college.. he doesn't have any plans for anything after hs so he's not "sacrificing his future" by doing this. alright.. now that you know about the relationship o.o (sorry if that's a lot to read =\)... here's the problem: my bf has recently been sucked in by the "wonders" of WoW(world of warcraft). since he's been playing this he's been basically ignoring me and i feel like the game means more to him than i do (we talk on aim mostly.. and we're basically only for about 5-7hrs a day together.. unless i stay up late) now i know that's a lot of time to be talking.. but most of the time there is no talking.. and that's the problem. we used to talk all the time.. and i was so happy then.. even though we're forever away from eachother, i felt like we were together. but ever since he started playing WoW, he's been talking a lot less.. once i waited to see how long he would go without saying anything to me (we were on skype and aim) it took 2 hrs, and all he ended up saying was "brb i gotta use the bathroom" i don't think he understands how much it hurts to feel like a game is his #1 priority. I feel like i'm just here to talk to if he gets bored. for instance, wow recently had an update, so he wasn't able to get on that night.. he talked to me so much that night.. and then when it was working again.. it was like i didn't exist.. another time, a few days ago: he said that i was distracting both of us from going to sleep so i said sorry and i was saying goodnight and stuff, then asked him if he was going to bed as well. he said in a minute, so i asked "well how am i distracting if you're not even going to sleep now" he said that he could get things done fast by concentrating on them (referring to WoW) so i said "talking to me isn't as important as those things".. and he said that it is important to talk to me, but he'd just like to get other stuff done.-- i know that probably doesn't seem bad to you.. but when we go all day without hardly saying anything.. and then we finally start talking it makes me happy.. so it hurt when he wanted me to stop talking so that he could finish whatever it was he was doing on a game that he plays 24/7 my question is, what am i supposed to do? i've told him several times how i feel. i've told him that i feel ignored and like i have to compete against a game for attention.. all he says is that he's sorry and that he'll change.. but he never has.. and sorry doesn't make everything right all of the time.. what should i do? i've tried talking to him, i've tried ignoring my feelings, i've tried telling myself that it wasn't really a big deal. but it's just getting worse. (i love him more than anything and there's no way i'd ever leave him. so please don't suggest us breaking up). Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 He's an addict. he's addicted to WoW. There's a website specifically for those addicted. Several, in fact, as far as I Know.... Unless he accepts this himself though, He will NEVER stop. Trust me. Google "World of Warcraft addicts" or "World of Warcraft addicted". Find a suitable website, then give him the link and ask him to look at it. To really read it. It's actually serious stuff and can destroy people. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author addictingpancake Posted October 24, 2008 Author Share Posted October 24, 2008 He's an addict. he's addicted to WoW. Good luck. AHAA! i tell him that he's overly obsessed and addicted all the time XD thankfully, he's not completely lost.. i mean.. i have seen worse gaming obsessed people.. way worse.. but it's definitely becoming a problem.. i'll definitely check into that. thank you very much for your advice ^.^ Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 When a highschool kid would rather play a video game than talk to his GF, then you know that he isn't that into his GF. I am intrigued, though, by "I am going to go get him and bring him back to FL with me where I am going to go to college. He has no plans for after high school." What is he going to do in Florida? Where is he going to live? How is he going to support himself? What do his parents think about his plan to move to Florida? What do your parents think about your driving to pick up this guy and bring him to where you are? If you think "living" with him now is bad while he is ignoring you, wait until you "live" with him in person. When he is too engrossed by the game to take a shower, mow the lawn, shave, buy you a birthday present, have friends over. I know you don't want to break up with him, but is this relationship really going to go somewhere? Link to post Share on other sites
Author addictingpancake Posted October 24, 2008 Author Share Posted October 24, 2008 well my dad is in the military and is stationed in a different state.. where my mom will go to after i graduate hs, so she doesn't have to know exactly what i'm doing when i go to get him.. he's going to join the marine reserves.. when i go to get him.. it's not like i'm just going to bring him back right away.. i'll probably stay there for a while.. just in case the relationship wasn't really meant to be.. hopefully.. he doesn't get to the point where he stops doing everyday things because of a game.. if it does start getting that bad then i'd stop him.. then again it already is getting that bad.. but maybe i'm just overreacting.. i mean.. i don't think he would rather play a game than talk to me, that's just how it seems to me. he told me he would stop playing the game if i wanted him to.. but i wouldn't make him stop doing something that he really likes..i guess i'll just have a talk with him.. *sigh* why does this have to be so hard Link to post Share on other sites
Author addictingpancake Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 I know you don't want to break up with him, but is this relationship really going to go somewhere? i'm starting to think that it's not.. maybe it would be better to just end it.. what if i do and he tries to get me back.. i won't be able to say no.. but then again.. i can't keep doing this. he just means so much to me.. Link to post Share on other sites
SaraLovesHerAndy Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Maybe breaking up with him will make him realise how much he misses u once ur gone, thats wot happened with me and my LDR. Me n andy also met online, we like bout 3 hours away from eachother so its hard to see him with work, college etc. the first time we were 2gether we hardly saw eachother n felt like it wasnt goin anywhere so i ended it, i got another bf but that ended like a month after. That was a few weeks ago and me n andy started flirtin again etc. n he told me how he lied about havin anuva gf wen i was with my bf coz he was so jelous n wanted to look like he had moved on but he hasnt n im still his perfect gf so we r trying again and i think hes gunna make a lot more effort. So ya ever know it might happen to u too xxx Link to post Share on other sites
Author addictingpancake Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 i'm just going to stop trying to talk to him and let him start talking for a while.. and i'll respond more the way he responds to me (late and with hardly anything).. and eventually, he'll probably ask what's wrong.. and i'll tell him that i'm tired of making all the effort to talk and that i'm thinking about ending things.. and maybe he'll actually do something this time.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author addictingpancake Posted October 25, 2008 Author Share Posted October 25, 2008 i spent 6 1/2 hrs waiting for him to talk.. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 i'm just going to stop trying to talk to him and let him start talking for a while.. and i'll respond more the way he responds to me (late and with hardly anything).. and eventually, he'll probably ask what's wrong.. and i'll tell him that i'm tired of making all the effort to talk and that i'm thinking about ending things.. and maybe he'll actually do something this time.. Behaving badly (as he is) is NOT the answer. You need to talk to him and tell him you are thinking of ending things because you ARE. Be honest about how you are feeling. Completely honest. If he gets the message and understands you need to be a priority or it is over and then does nothing to change his behavior stand up for yourself and break up with him. It is better to start a pattern of boundaries and honesty in your relationships now instead of silly games. Link to post Share on other sites
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