Answers needed

[Desperado]

Hi pple

 

Need a few advice here.

 

What's is a crush?

 

What is infactuation?

 

Is there a difference?

 

How do you know when the other party is responding?

 

What's the difference between having no feelings and playing hard to get?

 

How do you fall in like?

 

How do you fall in love?

 

Can you have a crush on someone who loves you?

 

Can you firlt with someone you have no feelings for?

 

Thannkz

[Nicky]

Hi pple Need a few advice here. What's is a crush? What is infactuation? Is there a difference? How do you know when the other party is responding?

 

What's the difference between having no feelings and playing hard to get? How do you fall in like? How do you fall in love? Can you have a crush on someone who loves you? Can you firlt with someone you have no feelings for? Thannkz

Hiya,

 

I think a crush is when you are attracted to somebody by a few traits which you have seen. You do not truly know them, so could not say the feelings are deep enough to be labelled love.

 

For me, infatuation suggests that it is a slightly unrealistic depth of emotion(in Latin it means to make someone look foolish). Our feelings for somebody are very strong, though we have a slightly unrealistic view of somebody. Infatuation may be from a distance, though to my mind, it's usually when we are fairly familiar with somebody.

 

How do you know when the other party is interested??? Well, perception is reality. Sometimes we can misread signals people give off, sometimes not. There really is no hard and fast rule!

 

If somebody plays hard to get, it's because they want to be chased. I know people who enjoy feeling wanted by people, but aren't actually interested in who's chasing them, just so long as somebody is. It boosts their fragile selfish ego's.

 

Some people do it, because they want to see HOW interested somebody is. If you pass the line, then you get the prize (them). If somebody has been constantly jerked around by previous partners, slight reticence can be understandable- to a degree.

 

I don't think that that many people play hard to get. I think it probably happened more in the past, when women's virginity was very important eg in the 50's. If you did anything else, you were basically a slut. So, I tend to assume, that if I get knocked back/ or other people do, then it's because somebody REALLY isn't interested in you.

 

I think it's a clear cut conclusion, otherwise we could sit around all day hypothesizing about the "what if's....?"

 

I also have better things to do in my life, than chase after people who seem to enjoy playing mind games. Big turn off, do I really need people like that in my life??? NO.

 

We fall in love when somebody met/meets/will meet needs we have. It is subconcious, and we cannot force this love. It is not the kind of love we have for our offspring, which is unconditional. This love is conditional on our needs being met, and when it's not we fall out of love.

 

We like people for whom we feel some kind of empathy and acceptance. Our friendship is conditional upon this. If we no longer feel that we have anything in common, or that they do not accept us for what we are, we tend to drift apart.

 

Just because somebody loves you, doesn't mean that you will return those feelings. You may have a crush on them. You may only like them as a friend, or love them.

 

Some people can flirt with others, even if they have no feelings for them. They may be attracted to them, or they mat be using them to boost their own ego, or get something else from you (eg tips if you're a waitress).

 

Hope that helps!

[Shirley]

Hi pple Need a few advice here. What's is a crush? What is infactuation? Is there a difference? How do you know when the other party is responding?

 

What's the difference between having no feelings and playing hard to get? How do you fall in like? How do you fall in love? Can you have a crush on someone who loves you? Can you firlt with someone you have no feelings for? Thannkz

 

Hi!

 

A crush is when you admire someone from a distance. And most of the time you don't let them know. You form your own dreams about that person, and fantasize about what it would be like to date them, marry them, etc. If they fall in love with you, things change. It's not a crush anymore. Either your feelings get stronger for that person, or you decide that they're not the person you had originally fantasized about.

 

Infatuation is being in awe of someone. Almost like putting them on a pedestal. And believing that they can do no wrong.

 

In both of these instances, you sort of feel like the person is too good to be true, or that the possibility of them liking you in return is only be a dream.

 

Actual feelings for a person come later. After you spend some time with them and find out what type of person they are. And how you feel when you are with them.

 

People play hard to get 'cause they enjoy watching the pursuer squirm. Not that they always want to see them sweat, but they sort of get a "high" knowing that another person is that interested in them. It boosts their ego.

 

Falling in like. There are tons of reasons to like someone. You like their personality, you enjoy their company, you can have fun with them, etc.

 

Falling in love. You fall in love because of the feelings you have when you're with them. It's like you feel that they are a part of you. That if you're together, you can conquer the world. And that you can overcome all obstacles as long as you're together. Also, you're happy when they're happy. And you're sad when they're sad.

 

Flirting. Flirting is just plain fun. It's an attention-getter. And it's sort of like playing back and forth. This kind of playing makes you feel good. The one flirting enjoys watching the reactions, and the one being flirted with enjoys that feeling of getting attention. Flirting is a positive thing, enjoyed by both parties. If either one shows signs of it bothering them, then it should stop. Because then it would be considered harrassment.

[Desperado]

Thanks for ur answers......it seems that no matter how hard we try to differenciate the different feelings we had, we tend to forget everything when we see the person we have a fancy on.

 

So, is there such a thing as love at first sight???

 

How come pple can fall in love over the internet or phone chat lines when an average guy like me can't even get a high schoolmate to like me?

 

I'm no Brad Pitt, but I dun consider myself a Woody Allen either, so i dun see why can't she accepts me the way that I'm.......

 

I still can't get over her....arrgh...

 

Give me some tips on how to fall out of love please....

[Shirley]

Thanks for ur answers......it seems that no matter how hard we try to differenciate the different feelings we had, we tend to forget everything when we see the person we have a fancy on. So, is there such a thing as love at first sight??? How come pple can fall in love over the internet or phone chat lines when an average guy like me can't even get a high schoolmate to like me? I'm no Brad Pitt, but I dun consider myself a Woody Allen either, so i dun see why can't she accepts me the way that I'm....... I still can't get over her....arrgh... Give me some tips on how to fall out of love please....

 

Hello again!

 

You can't really fall in love just by sight alone. But let's say you are instantly attracted to someone at first glance. And after talking to them, and feeling the chemistry by touching them, you feel love. It is possible to fall in love at that point. And that's what people mean by "Love at first site".

 

The love people feel online or over the phone, is a "caring" love. In order to feel the romantic love, there needs to be body chemistry. That tingle when you touch.

 

Once you've fallen in love with someone, you will always love them. If that love is not returned, it just means that it is not being nurtured. So you can't fall out of love, but because there's no chance of it being nurtured, it doesn't grow stronger.

 

So you just have to make up your mind to go on with your life. Meet people, have fun dating, enjoy peoples company. It's posible to fall in love again, but it's not something you can work on trying to do. If you meet someone and fall in love again, you will also love that person forever.

 

The love that keeps people physically together for a lifetime is when both people feel that love about each other. And that feeling is stronger than a one-sided love. It's the love that get's nurtured, and keeps getting stronger.

 

And all of this is based on individual feelings. There is nothing you can do to make someone love you. They fall in love with you because of how they feel when they are with you.

[Nicky]

Thanks for ur answers......it seems that no matter how hard we try to differenciate the different feelings we had, we tend to forget everything when we see the person we have a fancy on. So, is there such a thing as love at first sight??? How come pple can fall in love over the internet or phone chat lines when an average guy like me can't even get a high schoolmate to like me? I'm no Brad Pitt, but I dun consider myself a Woody Allen either, so i dun see why can't she accepts me the way that I'm....... I still can't get over her....arrgh... Give me some tips on how to fall out of love please....

I personally don't think so, because to me the meaning of love is loving somebody warts and all. You would make huge sacrifices for this person, becuase they are so important to you, and you trust and respect them.

 

So I don't believe that this is remotely possible at first sight. Would I donate my kidney to my BF? Yes. Would I donate it to somebody I had only seen 5 minutes? No. So how could I call that love? It's complete bollocks!

 

However I do believe in being very attracted at first sight. I have had three occasions where I have met guys, eg just been introduced to them, and just KNOWN that something would happen between us. Each time they became my BF. So I do believe in that chemistry feeling, when we first meet somebody- but it's not love.

 

People fall in love with the person, and not the looks. Otherwise all beautiful people would be married by the age of 14! People fall in love over the net, because they feel they have met somebody who fulfils their needs in some way.

 

So you can't get a GF? You just haven't met the right person yet. Nor are you likely to for a while. You are still at school, and most people change a lot until they are in their mid 20's. Don't get so worked up about it.

 

The media perpetuates a myth that everybody is in relationships most of the time. Well it's just not true. Many people are single a substantial part of their life. And there's nothing wrong with it.

 

Love is such a deep emotion, that we simply can't feel that for loads of people. You ask why can't she like you the way you are? Well, can you stop feeling the way you do about her? No.

 

L O V E I S N O T A CONCIOUS DECISION!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Do you understand??!!!

 

She cannot reciprocate your feelings. PERIOD!!!

 

I know it's tough, but life for you will be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

much easier, when you can accept that you cannot control people or events that happen around you. Good luck!